Ok… Raw sucked (read the results, didn’t watch) and ECW was very mediocre this week, so let’s see what Superstars has in store for us.
Match 1: John Morrison vs David Hart Smith
WWE is Canada is always ass backwards. David Hart Smith and Natalya get the huge pops in their home country. John Morrison is one of the few bright spots in WWE right now. Hell of a main event for Smackdown as Morrison takes on CM Punk. Little Bulldog is massive! He pounds on the Shaman of Sexy for a lot of the match. He hit a terrific suplex off the top rope. Morrison eventually hit all of his spots (Pele kick, standing moonsault, spinning kick, etc.) The Guru of Greatness gets the win with Starship Pain.
Match 2: Goldust vs Sheamus
The Celtic Warrior is huge, but looks smaller than he is because of his almost transparent skin. Dude is ghostly. How many times in a row are they going to do this match? Shouldn’t Sheamus be taking on other people to gain experience? This is just another example of WWE’s lazy booking. Anyway, Goldust wins with a rollup for some reason. Sheamus didn’t look weak, but shouldn’t they be booking him better than to lose to Goldust?
Random main event time: Mickie James and Kofi Kingston vs Rosa Mendez and Carlito in a Mixed Tag match
Alrighty then. This does nothing to enhance any feud. What’s up with Carlito’s hair? He look’s like a shi tzu who hasn’t been groomed in a while. I guess its part of his new dark and gloomy persona. This match was dominated in time by Kofi and Carlito. I think Mickie and Rosa were in the ring for about 15 seconds. Carlito gets the win after a backstabber off the top rope.
Random Random Random. I get that Carlito should be in the mix for the US title, but shouldn’t he also be dealing with his brother? Isn’t Gail Kim the number one contender for the Diva title? Why wasn’t she in that match? Sheamus should be booked to be taking people out…not losing to Goldust. John Morrison is great…nuf said.
Remember to check out Smackdown, which is obviously the best show WWE has to offer right now. See you next week.
I’ve been neglecting my duties as host of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts as of late, but I’m going to make a quick go at it this week.
We just launched all new forums here at BoredWrestlingFan (and I will fix any remaining links to the old forums soon), and we kicked them off in grand fashion with a discussion of this past Thursday’s iMPACT! Big things are brewing in TNA, with Jeff Jarrett being sent home by Dixie Carter and a couple of his buddies being sent to the unemployment line. This could be the spark that sets off the powder keg that is professional wrestling. A hot angle from a fresh writing staff can be the catalyst TNA needs to make themselves truly look like a credible threat to the WWE – which, in turn, will cause WWE to fight back. That’s what started the Attitude Era, competition from WCW.
Speaking of WCW, Kevin Nash used to work there. So did Rey Mysterio. Now they work for TNA and WWE, respectively. Mysterio mentioned Nash by name last night on SmackDown. Now, if I were Mr. McMahon, even if I am friends with Nash, I’m not going to let Mysterio mention Nash by name when he works for TNA, no matter how minuscule of a threat I thought they were. People who aren’t aware of the TNA product could hear Nash’s name, remember him from WCW (or even his last WWE run), think, “I wonder what ever happened to that guy,” look him up on the internet, and see that he’s working in TNA, as part of a group with other well known wrestling names like Booker T, Scott Steiner, and Kurt Angle, and decide to tune in next Thursday night. Then again, maybe Mr. McMahon wants to help the competition, maybe he thinks what I think – that strong competition will inspire the WWE product to become much better.
This is the last time these names will be typed by me here on BWF – Jeremy Piven & Dr. Ken. I wish I had one of those Men In Black style mind wipe devices and could erase this past Monday’s RAW from my memory. If this week’s show sucks nearly as bad as the last one, I might have to stop watching RAW entirely.
One of these days I’ll start watching ECW again. It’s not that it’s a bad show, I just don’t get around to watching it. This past Tuesday I forgot to set my DVR when I went to see “Funny People” starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen. A lot of dick and fart jokes, but it wasn’t bad.
WWE MSG Classics used to be a good show, but then they started showing the same 6 episodes over and over and over again.
I got nothing else, really. Stay tuned, somebody might do a Random Randomness at some point (maybe), and tharvey1’s WWE Superstars review will be up sometime tomorrow-ish (he’s running a bit late this week, but we forgive him.)
What’s up everyone? As I prepare to Cross The Line for the second time this week, I figured I’d stop buy and talk about this week in things. Well without further ado, here we go: (more…)
Ive been a total slacker this week. I missed ECW on SyFy, which sucks because I wanted to make fun of the name. I managed to watch SmackDown on Friday Night, and had a review written, but my laptop decided it didn’t want to let me finish it. I meant to write this article 24 hours ago, but wound up getting caught up in something completely different and forgetting to do so. And just hours ago, I completely skipped out on a TNA house show. JT won’t be doing the same later on today, hopefully he’ll have fun.
Anyways, I digress. There was a lot of shit going on this week, so let’s get to it!
Wow what a week. Happy whatever you are celebrating in your part of the world and welcome to the best couple of minutes you never get back. Well lets hope this will be the last week in a while that I have to start of with this: (more…)
Ah, the blue brand. I haven’t watched an entire episode of SmackDown since I’ve moved in to my new apartment, but I’ve been keeping up and am intrigued by the goings on. Ready? Let’s go!
Finally – ThinkSoJoE… HAS COME BACK! to reviewing shows. I’ve been trying to get motivated to write about the programming lately, but I’ve been sleeping through most of it. RAW’s been boring, ECW’s been entertaining but I haven’t really been paying a lot of attention to it, and SmackDown hasn’t been bad – but I’m usually sleeping when it’s on. That’s the problem with working overnights, I guess. Anyway, Kofi Kingston will be taking on MVP for the United States Championship tonight, so without further adieu, let’s get started…
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double FJ-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion. TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
