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RAW 3.21.11

March 21, 2011 11:22 pm 3 Comments

Sorry about missing last week’s RAW everyone, but I started work Monday, and then spent the rest of the day at Universal Studios, where I mentally spent most of the day mocking TNA and the signs telling me to go watch it, and then forgot all about TNA in favor of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. BUT! I am here tonight!

There’s a rumor going around that Trish Stratus will be back tonight with Snooki and will team with her and John Morrison to go up against Dolph Ziggler and LayCool! But, is it true? I guess we’ll find out. Not only that, but what else is next on WWE Champion The Miz’s schedule on his way to Wrestlemania? I don’t know that either, so we’ll find out… I hope!

Also. Unrelated. Go vote for Chris Jericho for Dancing With the Stars, alright? You should totally do it. I did.

HOLY CRAP!! IT’S JR!?!?!?!

…. Or not. Fucking Cole.

Cole walks out in a fat suit, something on his leg, something in his mouth, a bottle of JR’s BBQ and a cowboy hat. Last week, Swagger put JR in an ankle lock? Is that what I heard? I kind of want to punch Cole in the head. Josh Matthew looks unbelievably bored. And Cole is hiding in “the Cole Mine”? Whatever. Coward.

It’s time to play the game…

Triple H makes his way down to the ramp, all authority and badass-ery, as usual.

I have to take a moment and say, the WWE cameramen are pretty fucking spectacular at getting some pretty badass shots of the Superstars and Divas. Definitely good at their jobs. Shout out to those guys. Alright, back to the facts now.

Triple H says almost twenty years in this business. It’s a long time. He walks out there and looks at everyone and wonders, could this be the last time he’s in that building? In two weeks, there is the defining moment of his entire career. In two weeks, it’s the defining moment of the Undertaker’s career. Everyone’s talking, there are signs. Nineteen and zero, eighteen and one. Time to end the streak. The whole world is talking about this match. Two icons clashing like never before, the Undertaker, Triple H, no holds barred. He has no idea what this match will take out of him, or how much it will take out of the Undertaker. He knows that neither one of them will ever be the same, he can assure us of that. This is the biggest match he’s ever been in in his life. That Streak of eighteen years is bigger than any championship, maybe all of the championships he’s ever held combined. And ending it will be a career defining moment. Before they go to the ring and tear each other apart, put each other through Hell, Triple H wants Taker to do him a favor: Come there next week, stand in the ring, one week before they collide, Triple H wants to look him in the eye, stand face to face, man to man, and Triple H wants to tell him what is going to happen at Wrestlemania. He is going to look Taker in the eye and tell him he will lose. Triple H will end the Streak. The thing is, when it dies, so does the Undertaker. If Triple H can’t do it, he will die trying. But Deadman, Triple H wants that one last opportunity, to stand face to face with you, like your song says: Ain’t no grave can hold this body down, right? When Triple H ends the Streak, that’s it. It’s done. Undertaker, at Wrestlemania, you go 18 and 1. Undertaker, at Wrestlemania, you will Rest. In. Peace.

Ted says one year ago, he was one of the rising Superstars of the WWE. He competed his first Wrestlemania match against Randy Orton. And this year, he’s just an afterthought. Well, he won’t be an afterthought anymore. He’s making his own opportunity. What if Ted takes out the Cerebral Assassin on live television two weeks before Wrestlemania? Then people will have no choice but to take notice of him, Ted DiBiase.

Ted goes to get in the ring, but Triple H throws him out and stays on him, taking a few hits from Ted . Triple H fights back and hurls Ted right into the steel steps. He throws the top steps off and bounces Ted’s head off the other set. Ted is then thrown into, or flipped into, the guard rail before Triple H grabs a chair. He drives it into Ted’s torso before hitting Ted with it once, twice, three, four times. He loses the chair, then stands over Ted for a moment, then eyes the announce table. Triple H clears the table of the monitors, then grabs Ted, gets him on the announce table. Triple H then makes the slashing motion across his throat and Pedigrees Ted through the announce table.

Tonight, John Cena is going to respond to The Miz’s attack last night, via satellite. And, not only that, but The Miz is going to “Rewrite Miz-tory” and change the face of the WWE.

@TKeep123 Teddy, Teddy, Teddy….. Taking on a #WM27 headliner 2 weeks before the match? Thought your daddy raised you better! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@HitTheRopes Props to Teddy for having more offense against Trips than Sheamus did a few weeks ago. #JobbingIsPriceless

@SuperCoolBerry Oh so Cena “Bringin’ It via Satellite” now……he biting The Rock. Smh

We come back to Monday Night RAW with the new United States Champion, Sheamus in the ring!

United States Champion King Sheamus vs Evan Bourne

Sheamus starts out hard against Bourne and throws him to the ground before stomping away on him, using his knee. Bourne rolls under the bottom rope, but Sheamus grabs him and hits him with some hard forearms, sending Evan between and underneath the ropes again. Sheamus stops on Bourne’s hand, then throws him into the corner, but Bourne ducks a clothesline and kicks Sheamus right in the face. Bourne goes up to the top turnbuckle and misses the Air Bourne. Sheamus gets up and hits a Brogue Kick for the win.

United States Champion King Sheamus wins via pinfall.

Sheamus has a mic and says that he is now our new champion of the United States of America. He is interrupted by my favorite person ohwait.

Daniel Bryan says that one of the great things about this country is everybody gets an opportunity, no matter where they’re from. Bryan says that he wants to invoke his rematch clause at Wrestlemania. Sheamus shrugs, throws the title at Bryan, and then Brogue Kicks him in the face. Right in the face.

Tonight, a Wrestlemania Rewind from Wrestlemania 22, it’s Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio.

@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!! (Exit theme version)

@kickoutblog A kick to the face usually counts as a “yes” when someone makes a challenge.

@Whovian_23 You know I’m sure there was someone else in the Orton/Mysterio match at WrestleMania 22… #WWE #RAW #BWF

Randy’s getting out of his tour bus and Scott Stanford meets him, asking what it’s like for Randy to travel in the gorgeous tour bus. Randy says the bus is great, offers privacy, and lets him bring his family with him on the road. On this very bus is where he witnessed the birth of the New Nexus, and the footage he likes to watch over and over again are the ones where he dismantles the new Nexus one punt at a time. Punk has no one to watch his back, but insists that he’s still sick and twisted. But, Punk has no idea what sick and twisted really is.

Maryse vs Diva’s Champion Eve Torres

Maryse mocks Eve right as they start, and Eve mockingly claps at her, and Maryse says that nobody cares about Eve. Maryse misses a slap, and Eve connects with one. Maryse then tackles Eve and slams her face down on the mat a few times. Maryse then throws Eve into the corner, slapping her before sending her face into the turnbuckle. She digs her knee into Eve’s back , and then misses an attempted hit. Cole interrupts yet again, asking if we can get it over with as Eve hits a cross body on Maryse and misses a cover. Eve then sends Maryse’s face into the turnbuckle and throws Maryse onto the ground, kicking her a few times before hitting a clothesline. Eve then goes to hit the handspring moonsault, but Maryse lifts her knees. Maryse gets Eve up, then Eve counters, hitting something or another, and pins her for the win.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.

Cole keeps talking, and Eve is about to go attack Cole, but the bodyguard keeps her out of the way. Eve obviously wants to attack Cole and nearly slaps him. Cole then starts to climb out of the little glass room, he’s in, and then walks away.

Tonight, The Miz is going to change the face of the WWE by rewriting “Miz-tory”.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh My God! After two plus years of just wearing a shirt, Randy Orton is wearing PANTS!

@ThingsColeSays HOLY SHIT….IS HE WEARING PANTS? FIRST TIME IN TWO YEARS!!!!!!!!!

@Whovian_23 Randy Orton wearing clothes on RAW for the first time ever I think. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Again, WWE would never do something like this during a men’s match.

@CMPunkSays Once again, @MichaelCole attempts to bury an entire division in one fell swoop. #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar LMAO Maryse went in! “Nobody cares! NO BODY CARES ABOUT YOU HERE!” Speak the truth Maryse! Take down Juwanna Man!

@Niki_Sushi Oh, go the hell away, Eve. I’m sick of you. Give the title to someone who shows up more than once every few months. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes I totally forgot Eve was champion… Scratch that, I totally forgot there was a Divas Championship.

@Whovian_23 I get that @MichaelCole is meant to be an unlikeable prick, but it not good for business when a commenter shows no interest in matches. #BWF

Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater with The Corre vs Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina

Wrestlemania this year starts at 7 PM!

Santino and Gabriel start, and Santino gets Gabriel down. He sets up for the Cobra, but catches Slater as he goes to get in, only to eat a very pretty spinning kick from Gabriel. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Santino kicks out. Slater gets tagged in and dominates Santino before putting him in a headlock. Santino battles out of it and throws Slater over him. Santino tries to get to Kozlov, but Slater stops him. Santino gets away from Slater and Slater shoves Santino right into Kozlov. Kozlov gets in and immediately dominates, but Barrett distracts Kozlov. Slater hits something or another on Kozlov and tags in Gabriel, who hits the 450 Splash for the win.

Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.

And now, The Corre attacks Santino and Kozlov.

WEEEEEEEEEELL IT’S A BIG SHOW!

The Big Show and Kane, however, seem pretty pissed off after what happened on Friday and both get into the ring, attacking The Corre and saving Santino and Vladimir. Show hits the knockout punch on Slater before focusing on Jackson. Kane’s focus is on Barrett. Santino checks on Kozlov while Kane and Show give Ezekiel a huge choke slam. Tamina comes over to get her boys as Kane sets the ring on fire. Not literally, of course. Santino and Vladimir thank Show and Kane for their help.

Coming up next, John Cena responds to The Miz’ attacks live via satellite.

@FrankWWEClown Somebody has a “One Man Rockband” sign in the front row. Get that girl some help, ASAP. #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi No matter what, no remix will be as amazing as JeriShow. Good try, though. #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Damn! Kane hopped on the ropes n shit. Show and Kane are NOT playin!

@HitTheRopes LOL, Cena is pulling a Rock and doing Bringing It Via Satellite #wwe

@HitTheRopes It’s quite obvious after seeing Cena being via satellite: @JohnCena fears @MikeTheMiz

Next Monday night, The Rock will be LIVE on Monday Night RAW!

Matthews says that next week, there will be no impersonations. What does John Plan to do next week? Cena says that next week will be epic. Next week, John will be face to face with The Rock. And if they do have a problem, then next week, that problem gets settled. Jerry asks if all the attention focuses on the Rock has taken his focus off the Miz and has he underestimated the Miz? John says he has and that’s why Miz has been able to attack him. He says the fact that he’s sitting at home is proof that Miz deserves to be the WWE Champion. It’s also proof that he claims he can change the face of the WWE. Miz dressing like Rock was one helluva stunt. He’s sure this celebration will be equally creative. He won’t be there tonight, but he’ll be watching. He hopes that tonight, The Miz rewrites history. Because at Wrestlemania, Cena plans on making history.

Cole takes the mic and climbs out of his little room, and says that Cena and the Rock have a lot in common. While they’re coming live via satellite, Cole’s there live in person. Coming up next, he has another worldwide exclusive, Mr. Lawler, something that we’re not gonna wanna miss, next.

@kickoutblog The Rock won’t even make it to WrestleMania after The Miz destroys him next week.

@kickoutblog John Cena wears his wrestling attire at home just in case the kid that mows his lawn starts talking shit.

We come back to Swagger and Cole in the ring together. Wow, this is the most screen time Jack’s gotten since… since… He was a member of the RAW Roster.

Swagger stands in front of Lawler as Cole asks for our attention. Cole says that he’d like to introduce us to the man who will train him for the Main Event at Wrestlemania, Jack Swagger. Last week, we had another worldwide exclusive, when he invited Lawler’s son to tell the world what kind of a gutless fraud Lawler really is. Cole was so touched by the emotional and heartwarming reunion, father and son together again, he wants to revisit it.

Cole quotes “ashamed of you”. Brian Christopher was so appreciative last week that Cole let him say what he did last week that he gave Cole a gift. Apparently, Brian Christopher gave him the Lawler Family Photo Album. Cole says that to understand what a person is all about, you have to go back to see the way he was raised. He shows a picture of King’s father. Cole says that he went digging for information and found out that King and his father are nothing but gutless cowards and bullies. People who talk a big game until someone steps up to them and puts them in their place. Cole says he’s going to put Lawler in his place at Wrestlemania. Cole finally realized that King, his mother, his father, and his son have one thing in common: the family is nothing but a bunch of losers. King takes off his headset and Swagger attacks him. However, King attacks back, dodging a kick and then bouncing Swagger’s head off the table. King then chases Cole, who runs right into a clothesline from Swagger. Swagger picks King up and puts him up against Cole’s glass box while Cole continues to insult Lawler’s family. Swagger then puts King in another ankle lock. Then Cole gets him in an ankle lock while Swagger rests his knee on Lawler’s head.

@TKeep123 Swagger smashing King’s face on the glass like he’s trying to use Silly Putty to lift a picture from the Sunday comics! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@TKeep123 More Michael Cole… amazing how low they are going to help sell the Cole-King match. Is this really needed? #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

TheRealEvilNeo Oh my, @JerryLawler is going to kill @MichaelCole #ThereWillBeBlood #WWE #RAW

@JonHexLives Didn’t Josh Matthews used to wrestle? Why doesn’t he help out? #WWE #RAW #BWF

Cole apologizes, saying that he let his emotions get the best of him, and Lawler kept pushing his buttons and he’s going to try to contain himself for the rest of the night.

Snooki has been all over the internet about how she’s getting in the ring for Wrestlemania!

Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero and LayCool vs John Morrison with Trish Stratus

Morrison and Ziggler lock up, and Morrison starts to fight out, but Ziggler attacks Morrison. Ziggler starts to get Morrison up, but Morrison throws him into the corner. Ziggler kicks at Morrison’s knee and Ziggler goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Ziggler gets right back on Morrison and jumps on him before going for another cover, but kicks out. Ziggler gets Morrison in a side-headlock, but Morrison fights up to his feet and out, only to get a kick to the stomach. Ziggler Whips Morrison, who ducks it, and then hits a clothesline before flipping Ziggler out of the ring. Morrison goes to jump out of the ring at Ziggler, but McCool stands in the way. Trish gets Layla and McCool out of the way, then gets in the ring.

“I am now ordering this match to be a handicapped inter-gender tag team match. John Morrison will team up with Trish Stratus against Dolph Ziggler, LayCool, and Vickie Guerrero.”

Before the announcement is even done, Trish grabs Vickie’s hair, and it takes Dolph, Layla, and Michelle all to get her off.

@ThingsColeSays Hahaha. Cole completely forgot, like all of us, that Dolph was World Champion.

@kickoutblog Good God, that Trish Stratus magazine cover is a Photoshop disaster.

Morrison and Ziggler are still in the ring, and Ziggler with another headlock. Morrison fights out again, but Ziggler keeps a hold of his hair, only to eat another kick to the face. Ziggler rolls to his corner and tags in Layla. Trish gets in the ring too, and ducks Layla’s clothesline. Trish hits some hard hits right into Layla’s face, kicking her in the stomach before Whipping her across the ring. Lay kicks her, and Trish flips her into the ring before slapping her chest twice, three times. Trish then Whips Lay, who turns it and Whips Trish into a kick by McCool. Layla tags in McCool, who hits Trish right in the temple with her knee. McCool attacks Trish, and then drops her knee on Trish repeatedly. McCool goes for a cover, but Trish kicks out at one. Trish counters something with something, I missed it, and McCool drags her back to their corner, tagging in Layla. Layla kicks Trish in the stomach before going for a cover, only for Trish to kick out. Layla throws Trish’s face into the mat and shoves her with her foot. Lay then throws her back into the ring, tagging in Vickie. Vickie almost hits something, but Trish manages to tag in Morrison. Ziggler jumps in and eats a clothesline before a couple of kicks. Morrison then bounces his head off the turnbuckle and hits the flash kick. Layla runs around the ring and hurls Trish off the side of the apron, Morrison misses Starship Pain, and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag. Vickie runs in and goes for the cover on Morrison, with some kind of Cougar movement that made me gag.

Vickie Guerrero, Dolph Ziggler, and Lay Cool win via pinfall.

Remind me: Inter-gender rules. Shouldn’t it have been Dolph who pinned him, because he’s a MAN?! Just asking…

Still to come, The Miz is going to rewrite “Miz-tory”.

@TKeep123 Vickie pins JoMo ?? Umm..but in Intergener rules…oh, wait….this is #WWE. Nevermind. #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@kickoutblog Come on @ScottArmstrong_, Vickie wasn’t legally allowed to pin John Morrison. Mixed tag rules! You just screwed Morrison like you did Taker!

@iPrinceRyMoZ: You know your life sucks when you get pinned by Vickie Guererro… #Smh #WWE #RAW

@PricelessRKO JoMo really didnt need that on his record…smh #WWE #RAW #BWF

BRING ME SIN CARA! Please?

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio – Wrestlemania 22 Rewind

@kickoutblog Okay, NOW I’m excited for Triple H vs. Undertaker. WWE’s hype machine strikes again.

@KeepItFiveStar Wow. All these Superstars did this Taker interview in John Cena’s house

@CMPunkSays I want Sin Cara nowwwwwwwwwww #WWE

@JCenadotcom Sin Cara: the most anticipated debut since forever! Can’t wait!

@Niki_Sushi I SERIOUSLY wanna see Sin Cara! C’mon! #BWF #RAW

Orton and Rey go to lock up, but Rey wraps his arms around Randy and ducks it. Rey kicks at Randy, Randy kicks back. Randy throws Rey into a corner, Rey takes advantage with some kicks. Randy seems to be forgetting that Rey is small. Randy ducks a kick and Rey eats an uppercut by Orton. Orton then throws Rey right out of the ring, causing him to bounce on the floor outside. Orton climbs out of the ring and throws Rey back into the ring, going for a cover, but Rey kicks out at two. Orton drops his knee on Rey and goes for another cover, but Rey kicks out again. Orton puts Rey in a headlock and Rey fights to his feet before fighting his way out of it, only to get an elbow on his back. Randy throws him into a corner then puts him on the top turnbuckle. Rey fights Orton as Orton gets up and Rey hits the seated senton on Orton, only to get a scoop slam. Orton grabs Rey and pulls him back into the ring, starting to deliver that DDT, but Rey counters and gets Orton in position, but misses the 619, only to get hit with the DDT. Punk, however, interrupts on the TitanTron.

Punk is outside by Randy’s tour bus and says that he doesn’t know what sick and twisted is, but he does know that Orton has a very nice tour bus, and Punk can’t wait to meet his wife. Randy then takes off backstage and runs outside to his bus, starting to get inside, only to get hit by Punk. A woman begins screaming, and Punk tells her to shut up as Punk holds a wrench. Punk says that the voices are probably telling Orton that he shouldn’t have punted Nexus. Ain’t that a kick in the head? He then blows a kiss at Sam, who gets out of the bus and kneels with Randy when Punk walks away.

Up next, The Miz is going to rewrite Miz-tory.

@kickoutblog What’s the matter, Randy? CM Punk just wanted to introduce himself to your wife. He’s just trying to be courteous and nice.

@KeepItFiveStar That was a plan by the selfish Rey Mysterio. He paid CM Punk to distract Orton and flirt with his wife. What a horrible person

@HitTheRopes CM Punk about to show Orton’s wife his “straight edge” #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar Oh Randy, why did you even bring the bus? Don’t you know what happens in these situations?

@ImAMelFo If this was a real WM22 rematch, Kurt Angle’s music should hit any time now… #wwe #raw

@TKeep123 If this were the OLD Days…that Orton Tour BUS would end up wearing a green DX logo! #WWE #RAW #BWF #mnbw

@redsandman99 Orton don’t think that Punk is sick and twisted? Didn’t he see Punk crashing Mystero’s daughter’s birthday celebration? Or the Manson beard?

@seraphalexiel Randy’s just lucky that Punk didn’t go to his bus and introduce his wife to his sneaky penis

@Whovian_23 So if we believe WWE Randy Orton has had about four different wife’s… all named Samantha. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Next week, Triple H and The Undertaker will meet up face to face, and The Rock will be on RAW Live!

Alex Riley is in the ring and tells us his name is Alex Riley. Three weeks ago, he was fired as The Miz’ apprentice. But, lucky for everyone, he was rehired as the “Vice President of Corporate Communication”. Allow him to introduce the most must-see Champion and the best man at his wedding.

AWESOME

This Wednesday, The Miz is going to be on Conan on TBS!

Miz says that in the 1970s, people would travel great distances to say that they saw Muhammad Ali fight in person, and in the 80s, people would pay millions to see Michael Jordan in his prime play basketball. Now, in 2011, we have been blessed with the honor of watching him. When he first started, people didn’t take him seriously. Some people said that he was annoying, but now look how far we’ve come? Now, John Cena, like The Rock, hangs onto every single word Miz says. Last week, he imitated The Rock. He knows, it was good, got everyone. It was ironic, while there has been many wanna-be Rock clones over the years, the one person who imitated him correctly is one-of-a-kind, an original. He has rewritten history. Someone has come who has more charisma than Shawn Michaels, more physically something than Andre the Giant, more intelligent than John Cena and The Rock combined. He is the greatest WWE Champion in history. And, in the process, he has become bigger than the entire WWE Universe and every single one of us that’s in it. He has flipped the WWE since day one, and that is what he’s about to reveal, symbolizes and celebrates this iconic the WWE logo. He has flipped it in the form of an M. And that M stands for Miz. The time has now come. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to rewrite “Miz-tory”.

A drum roll sounds, and a spotlight shines over the covered thing in the ring. The cover is pulled away, and the WWE Championship is exactly the same, except the WWE logo is upside down. Miz lifts it over his head in victory. Alex Riley secures the belt around his waist. Miz says that this is what the WWE Championship will look like moving forward. It will no long spin like a toy, and we will look at it as the most coveted title in the world. Miz doesn’t plan on being a multi-time Champion, because he doesn’t ever plan on losing the title. Because he’s The Miz, and he’s–! Awesome!

John comes on the TitanTron clapping. He says the show was fantastic, moving, epic. He hasn’t seen something that emotional since the season finale of Flip This House. He flipped the WWE logo to an M for his name, because it begins with an M. The WWE Universe knows that Cena isn’t invincible, and knows that you should never make Cena angry. In thirteen days, Cena will make history at Wrestlemania. People come in and remove Cena’s walls. His living room got torn apart! Cena says that he was supposed to be broadcasting from his home, and he is. For the past nine years, the WWE has been his home. Right now, the two of them are in the middle of his living room, and he’s coming to take out the trash.

Cena heads to the ring and Miz and Riley prepare for him. Wisely, they watch every entrance they can see, but Cena comes on down the ramp. Miz is wielding the table as a shield in the ring. Cena runs into the ring and Miz throws the table at him. It’s an instant brawl as Riley and Miz attack Cena together. Cena fights back the best he can, but there’s a flurry of movement in the ring. When Cena starts to get advantage of one, the other jumps in. Cena gets Riley out of the ring and Miz heads out. Riley gets back in the ring and Cena locks in the STF on Riley. The ref climbs into the ring and tries to get Cena to let Riley go, but Cena holds fast. Miz comes back and Cena finally lets Riley go. Miz stands on the stage and watches as Cena locks the STF in again. Miz looks a bit upset and moves closer to the ring. Cena just waits for him, and then Miz walks out as Riley gets put into yet another STF. Two more refs join the first one and try to get Cena off of Riley.

That’s it for this week. Stay tuned for next week’s RAW!

Random Randomness

March 5, 2011 9:41 am 4 Comments

Welcome all to another edition of what I do here on this site and as the days get longer it can only mean one thing, Wrestlemania is near. What did you think I was gonna say spring? We don’t really get that here since it can snow here some years as late as Mothers day, we just kinda transition from winter into summer so for me to say that spring is coming just wouldn’t fit, but without further ado, I have wrestling to talk about so lets get this train a rolling: (more…)

Royal Rumble 2011

January 30, 2011 11:31 pm 6 Comments

Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…

Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship

So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.

There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.

The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship

Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.

Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.

Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!

Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship

You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.

WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.

Michelle was pissed.

Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.

ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY

1) CM Punk

I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.

1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio

There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.

See ya tomorrow night for Monday Night RAW!

RAW 1.24.11

January 24, 2011 11:17 pm 3 Comments

Hello everyone! I know I missed RAW last week, and I’m terribly sorry about that, but I’m back tonight! Who was that mysterious man who joined Nexus at the end of last week’s RAW? What wonderful news will we hear from the RAW General Manager tonight? I don’t know, but I did hear a rumor that it’s supposed to be the World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, against the WWE Champion, The Miz tonight. Champion vs Champion! Melina and Natalya are also going head to head for the Diva’s Championship!

Oh yeah! The Royal Rumble is this Sunday! Forty men are going to compete for the first time ever! Thank God I’m not covering it. You all know how I love multiple-party matches. Anyway, it’s bound to be good!

Tonight’s show is brought to you by:

You think you know me…

Damn! I don’t have any Edge pictures to use!

The World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring to kick off RAW for us! He says that he doesn’t feel like waiting. He’s never liked waiting, he’s never had a lot of patience. He doesn’t like waiting at the DMV, for the guy at the supermarket to pay by check, he doesn’t like waiting for the guy in front of him at security at the airport to realize his metal belt is made of metal, and he’s sick of waiting in vain for Michael Cole to stop being a tool. So, why doesn’t the Miz just come out here now–?

“Edge, I know you’re very anxious to have your Champion vs Champion match against The Miz, but I have officially schedule that attraction for later tonight. Fortunately for you, I haven’t forgotten about your disrespect when you were a superstar on RAW. That’s why I’ve arranged a special exhibition for you right now. Whichever one of these men tosses you over the top rope will receive the advantageous position of Number 40 at this Sunday’s Royal Rumble. Ring the bell.”

Jack Swagger, Tyson Kidd, and Drew McIntyre make their way down to try to get the position. Tyson Kidd is quickly eliminated by Edge, and Drew McIntyre takes advantage. McIntyre almost gets Edge out, but Swagger breaks it up and Edge sends him over the top. Now, it’s just McIntyre and Edge, but Edge manages to eliminate McIntyre too!

Edge wins.

Edge takes the mic and thanks the anonymous RAW General Manager for getting his juices flowing. He says he’ll go to the back and get ready for his match with The Miz, but first, he wants to do something. He slowly climbs out of the ring, and says that it’s something he did last time on this show. Then, he asks who here wants to see a smashed laptop computer? The crowd cheers, King says he does, and Cole says he doesn’t. Cole gets up and tries to protect the laptop, trying to talk sense into Edge. But, Edge is a nonsensical, crazy man. Common sense doesn’t work.

Damn. The old Nexus theme is back. I miss Punk’s already.

Punk, Otunga, Harris, McGuillicutty, and the mystery man from last week make their way down to the ring. As they make their way into the ring, Edge stands by the laptop, watching them. McGuillicutty passes Punk a mic.

Punk takes it, saying that in this world, only the strong survive, and the strong survive just not from being strong, they don’t survive just from sheer will power, they survive because they evolve. Last week, it was announced that the Royal Rumble match will have forty Superstars, making it the biggest Royal Rumble match in the history of the Royal Rumble. So, as he sees his surroundings change, he adapts, because he is change. He sees the Royal Rumble expand, so the new Nexus evolves. Last week, we saw the new Nexus expand with the inclusion of the mystery Batista. He was hand-picked by Punk from Cardiff, Wales, and he is Mason Ryan. Funny how Punk’s hand-picked guy kicked him in the face.

Mason takes the mic and says he only has one thing to say: Faith.

Punk says that he doesn’t think he could have said it more eloquently. Faith. These men we see are bonded by faith, and unlike John Cena, and the faithless, fake, poor-man’s Nexus on Smackdown!, their faith, come Sunday, will be rewarded. Because they will unite for the common good, for one common goal, and that is for CM Punk to become the winner of the 2011 Royal Rumble Match. Nexus nods along, but will they stay faithful? Punk says that when he wins the 2011 Royal Rumble, he will not only go on to headline Wrestlemania, but the new Nexus will become the most powerful group the WWE has ever laid eyes on.

We are interrupted by the Corre, made of Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Ezekiel Jackson. Barrett explained on Smackdown! That he is not the leader of this group; it is a group of equals.

Barrett says to clarify something: the only poor man’s Nexus is the new Nexus. The Corre is nothing like the Nexus. It’s not some brainwashing dictatorship, it’s about four equals. Zeke says at the Royal Rumble, they will try to win the match for themselves, they will unite to make sure to eliminate CM Punk. Mason Ryan jumps in front of Punk and gets in Zeke’s face (never a good idea), and the two have a stare down.

“If I’m going to give Smackdown! Superstars an open invitation to come to RAW, they will have to play by my rules. With Teddy Long unfortunately sidelined, I have the authority to make this very special match. Corre member and former Nexus leader Wade Barrett will face current Nexus leader CM Punk. Whoever loses will see himself, and his entire group, out of the Royal Rumble match. And gentlemen, one last thing: The special guest referee for this Barrett vs Punk match tonight will be someone you’re both extremely familiar with. The guest referee will be John Cena.”

So… Who’s more screwed?

@Niki_Sushi Yeah, Zeke scares me more than Beardtistacles. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 OMG.. Mason Ryan is the love child of Batista and Wade Barrett!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@JonHexLives I’ve finally figured it out. A computer program is the general manager. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar The Corre looks weird without any shirts or armbands. And Ezekiel Jackson just looks scary.

@seraphalexiel We’re the Corre. We promote bad spelling and Heath Slater. Of course you should get behind us

@HitTheRopes Okay, shake the ropes violently, Mason Ryan. Go ahead. You know you want to. #WWE

@kickoutblog Well that worked out best: Swagger, Kidd or McIntyre as #40 would’ve been incredibly anticlimactic. #RAW

John Morrison and Mark Henry vs. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio

The match starts with Rio and Morrison starting it off. The two lock up, and Rio gets Morrison in the corner already. The ref separates them, but Rio kicks back quick, throwing Morrison face-first into the turnbuckle, and then staying on him. He drags Morrison over to his corner and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus takes advantage and starts to throw Morrison into the other turnbuckle, but Morrison fights back hard, putting Sheamus in a head scissors and then hitting him with a dropkick before Morrison kicks out of the quick cover. Sheamus fights back and then tags in Rio. Rio Whips Morrison cross the ring, but Morrison ducks his clothesline and fights back well. Morrison gets advantage over Rio, but Sheamus pulls him out of the ring as Morrison goes for Starship Pain.

@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!!!!

@Niki_Sushi Is anyone surprised? I believe we’ve seen more of Smackdown than RAW for the past two weeks.. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio are the greatest foreign tag team since The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. #RAW

@TKeep123 That singlet does nothing to enhance Mark Henry’s …ummmm…. masculinity. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Alexx_Raven: Morrison: Once you go black… You never go back.

@kickoutblog Pot O’Gold is the best suggestion I’ve seen so far for a Del Rio/Sheamus team.

We come back to Rio and Morrison in the ring, and Rio has Morrison in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Rio drops him onto his head, and sends his knee repeatedly into Morrison’s spine. He goes into a quick cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Rio drags Morrison to his corner, but Morrison fights his way back to the middle, only to get a sharp elbow to the spine. Rio tags in Sheamus, and Sheamus plays it to the crow-HOLY CRAP MICHAEL “SOUL EATER” TARVER IS WATCHING BACKSTAGE!

Anyway, Sheamus hits a clothesline on Morrison, and then stretches Morrison out. Sheamus gets Morrison into the middle of the ring, goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus fights Morrison pretty hard, and then gets Morrison in another submission. Morrison struggles to fight out, hitting a swift kick before trying to gain momentum. Sheamus, however, plants Morrison, and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, but Morrison hits the flying Chuck. Both men are down in the middle of the ring and their partners reach for them.

Rio and Henry make their way in, and Henry drops his fist onto Rio’s head before head butting him a couple of times. Henry Whips Rio across the ring, and then bulldozes him, going for a cover. Sheamus breaks up the count, and Henry takes exception to this, sending Sheamus into the corner before he clotheslines Rio. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick, but Morrison comes in and hits the flying Chuck again, before hitting a corkscrew move out of the ring. Rio runs in and gets Henry in the spinning armbar thing, and Henry taps.

Sheamus and Alberto del Rio win via submission.

Later on tonight, Wade Barrett and CM Punk will go one on one against one another, and the special guest referee will be none other than John Cena. And the loser? Their whole group is out of the Royal Rumble. But, up next, it’s the Diva’s Championship match!

@kickoutblog So sayeth the prophecy: “Upon his second coming, he shall watch a Mark Henry match.” #GuardYourSoul

@Niki_Sushi This just in. Soul Eater [Human Name: Michael Tarver] is back, and he’s hungry. #BWF #RAW #SucksToBeYou

@TKeep123 Sure looked like JOMO landed wrong on that knee… #WWE #RAW #BWF

Melina vs Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Random thought: How PG is it to promote a game that “You’re mom’s gonna hate it”?

Natalya and Melina lock up, and Melina shoves Natalya against the ropes before sending her right out to the floor. Melina throws Natalya back in, and slams her head against the mat. Melina keeps control over Natalya in the middle of the ring before going for the cover, only for Natalya to kick out. Melina puts Natalya in a viciously strange looking submission hold, but Natalya fights it and gets to her feet, running Melina into the corner. Natalya beats Melina up a little, and Melina kicks her in the head before Natalya drops her, and then does it again. Natalya went for that spinning clothesline, but Melina takes her down. Natalya takes a beating from Melina, but Natalya grabs Melina’s leg and lock sin the Sharpshooter, bending herself all the way over, and Melina is forced to tap out.

WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya wins via submission.

However, LayCool cuts Natalya’s victory celebration short.

McCool tells them to calm down, and says that they have good news. Layla says that in six days, Nattie’s going to lose some weight. McCool says that she’ll probably have to shop in the plus size division for the rest of her life. They’re not talking about actual body weight, they’re talking about their Diva’s Championship. Layla points out they never got their Championship rematch, and McCool says Sunday, they’re going to bring the Diva’s Championship back from being classless, to being flawless.

Still to come, the World Heavyweight Champion Edge takes on the WWE Champion, The Miz.

@Niki_Sushi That end was a credit to Melina’s flexibility, as she didn’t snap in half. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes The way Melina can bend, it just leaves a lot to the imagination. #wwe

@kickoutblog (secretly hoping for Kong to interfere in this match and destroy them both… Sorry Natalya)

@KeepItFiveStar And here we go! The slap happy Melina vs. the awkward screaming Natalya!

@JonHexLives Best. Sharpshooter. Ever. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Shouldn’t Beth Phoenix be getting title shots? She’s actually been winning

Backstage, Otunga is stirring up more trouble, and is pointing out that if Punk loses, then they’re all screwed. Punk says that he’s sensing a lot of negative energy, and he doesn’t like it. Punk point sout that last week he made a sacrifice, to Mason Ryan, and took a kick in the face to beat John Cena. Come Sunday, Ryan will make his sacrifice, as will all of them, to sacrifice their spot to win the Royal Rumble match, to insure that he does. He says that when he wins, when he main events Wrestlemania, all of their lives change. Punk breaks off and looks at Husky. Harris says that there are forty people in the Royal Rumble match. What if Punk comes out first, and the Nexus doesn’t come until, say, 20^th, and he’s already eliminated? Ryan tells him CM Punk will not be eliminated. Punk tells them to maintain the Corre so he can beat Nexus. Punk says that he doesn’t expect Cena to LET him win, he’s going to win because he’s better. Besides, Barrett has been making Cena’s life hell. He then tells them to have faith, and then tells them to take a knee. He extends his fist, and the others do as well.

Backstage, Josh Matthews is interviewing Cena, who punches him, yet again. Matthews has to be sick of that. Matthews asks what his mindset will be for the main event, and Cena says that as an official he’s recognized for doing the same thing. He says that if Punk wins, he has faith that he will eliminate each and every member of the new Nexus. If Barrett wins, he has to deal with the Corre, and points out that it has an extra r, and it stands for –

He’s interrupted by Miz, who fakes a laugh. Miz says he can’t believe Cena’s attitude about the Royal Rumble match. Winning the Royal Rumble match could be the worst thing that has ever happened to them should they choose to face him. Did Cena not see how he gave Orton the worst beating of his life? Or the beating he’s going to give that second-rate Champion Edge? Cena asks him to try to give him the worst beating of his life. Cena points out that The Miz could lose to Randy Orton, and could lose his rematch, and they must-see their way to a shower. Miz asks Matthews if he thinks he’s going to lose, but Miz interrupts him before he can answer. Miz asks the crowd, and they answer yes. Miz asks Riley if it’s ready, and Riley says to roll the footage. Hey, G! Think you can get me a .gif of Miz and Riley laughing??

AWESOME!

WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge

Before the match begins, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero make their way out to the ring as well, and Dolph joins on commentary, with Vickie.

Miz and Edge, start to lock up, but Miz misses two kicks. Edge continues to deftly avoid all of Miz’ attempts, but catches Miz’ foot and gets the advantage, backing Miz into a corner. He Whips Miz across the ring and then sends his elbow into Miz’ face. He kicks Miz in the stomach, and then head butts him. Miz fights back, however, and elbows him. Once again, however, Miz misses his kick. Miz and Edge lock hands and Edge twists Miz’ arm behind his back. Miz tries to lift Edge, but can’t get him up. Edge fights back and sends Miz right over the top rope.

@RhymesWithPen Vickie Guerrero looks way better in tights than Jerry Lawler ever did

@kickoutblog I love Dolph Ziggler’s business casual + hoodie attire.

@Niki_Sushi Hey. GM. Do your damn job and chase away Smackdown. Gawd, such a failure turtle. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog The Miz has bigger fish to fry than John Cena anyway, he’s got a World Champion to beat.

We come back to Edge immediately going for a cover on Miz, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets the advantage, however, attacking the injured ribs of Edge before hitting him with a kick in the face. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz puts his knee in Edge’s back and then pulls him back, and I’ma punch this cameraman. I don’t care about Dolph and Vickie, thank you. Edge fights out, however, and Miz drops him right onto his back with his own hair. Miz keeps the advantage, and Whips Edge across the ring, but Edge hits a swinging neckbreaker on Miz. Miz starts to get up and Edge sets up for the Spear, but Miz rolls out of the ring first. Edge, however, follows, and Miz attacks the ribs again, before Whipping him, only to get it countered and for Miz to be sent to the barrier. Riley’s on the outside, keeping an eye on things. Edge throws Miz back into the ring. Edge climbs up to the top rope, and Miz fights him up there, going for a suplex, but Edge holds on, fighting to get Miz back to the mat. Edge gets ready, and hits a cross body on Miz, but Miz kicks out of the cover on two. Edge throws Miz into the corner, and then across the ring into the corner. Edge goes to do it again, but Riley helps Miz get out of the way. Miz gets Edge up and slams him, ribs first, into the top rope.

@RhymesWithPen The World Champion is currently wrestling the WWE Champion and all Lawler cares about is making Vickie fat jokes … #IWantWrestling

@JonHexLives Why is Alex Riley wearing Sheamus-tinted boots? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS?! *Monocle drops* UNHEARD OF!

@kickoutblog THEY JUST WENT TO COMMERCIAL! COME ON!

Jesus, we come back to Miz going for a cover, Edge kicking out, Miz beating Edge then going for a cover, then Edge kicks out, then Miz starts beating on Edge again. Miz is doing something with the bandage for a minute there, and then wraps his legs around Edge’s ribs. Dolph needs to shut the fuck up. Edge did something and dropped Miz almost literally onto his head. Edge hits something else, but I didn’t see it. Edge is fighting back hard, and this a clothesline on Miz. Edge drops Miz, and then goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz drives his shoulder into Edge’s ribs repeatedly for a minute, before running across the ring, missing the swinging corner clothesline. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two, and Alex Riley distracts Edge. Edge climbs back into the ring, and Miz grabs him, going for a quick cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz Whips Edge, misses a clothesline, but manages to hit Riley with the baseball slide, before Edge drops Miz back to the mat. Edge crawls back and sets up the Spear, and I think I just heard Dolph drop the headset. I did.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.

Ziggler grabs Edge as Edge goes for the Spear, and hits the Zig Zag on Edge. However, Orton is out next, and Ziggler attacks Orton, as well as Riley. Orton hits a vicious scoop slam on Ziggler, and Miz tries to take off, but Orton grabs him and beats him up. Miz runs into the ring, and Orton hits an RKO on Riley, then on Ziggler. Miz comes in and hits Orton in the knees with Riley’s briefcase before he grabs the WWE Championship and heads on out.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh no! It’s never a good day when Miz misses the clothesline

@Lunna1969 i love when Randy does the scoop slam! it always looks so smooth! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Also, if this whole wrestling this doesn’t work out, Miz should totally sell a licorice candy called Mizzlers.

We come back to Matthews asking Barrett what the difference is between nexus and The Corre. Barrett says that when he first formed Nexus, he got too close to the WWE Championship and lost sight of his original goal, and lost the Nexus. But, every cloud has a silver lining, and he’s a member of The Corre. The Corre doesn’t have leadership issues or against John Cena being the special guest referee. Matthews says that people are pointing fingers at The Corre as being responsible for the attack on Teddy Long. Barrett stops him and says that he wishes Long a speedy recovery. Their goal for today is to make sure that Punk and Nexus are out of the Royal Rumble. As for Cena, Barrett hopes that Cena can respect him as he respects Cena.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and the Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase, Maryse, and Alicia Fox

Bryan and DiBiase are going to start it out, and Bryan fights out of DiBiase’s headlock quickly, and Bryan sends DiBiase to the mat. As the men are getting ready to work, Maryse tags herself in, and one of the Bellas and Maryse starts out. Bella 1 sends Maryse to the mat, and Bella 2 distracts Bella 1 from the whole thing, and Maryse takes advantage with a quick pinfall.

Ted DiBiase, Alicia Fox and Maryse win via pinfall.

The Bellas are fighting, and Daniel doesn’t look like he knows what the fuck to do. Get used to it, Bryan.

Still to come, Punk v Barrett.

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Knuckles from Sonic The Hedgehog vs Darling Nikki, that other twin and Daniel Bryan!

@HitTheRopes Wow, two matches involving Divas on one Raw. #Shocked

@Niki_Sushi Aaaaaaaaand there goes the good mood. Nastiness Personified vs Sexy People. Sigh. #BWF #RAW

At the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton and The Miz will go head to head for the WWE Championship! Dolph Ziggler and Edge will duke it out for the World Heavyweight Championship! LayCool will meet Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship, and it is a first-ever Forty Man Royal Rumble Match!

Backstage, the Bellas are fighting each other about who is better for Bryan, or whatever is important to them. Tarver watches them argue for a moment before he walks away, and both are ridiculously unaware of how lucky they are to have not gotten their souls stolen. However, They enter Daniel Bryan’s locker room to see him and Gail Kim kissing. Haha, you whores. Bryan says that he and Gail have been dating for six months. Gail says that with no guest stars around they have nothing to do. Gail gets up in their faces and slaps one, and then is sent in the corner by the other one. Referees have to break them apart, because Gail is gonna break her heel off in their asses.

The new Nexus, without Punk, makes their way to the ring.

@HitTheRopes Michael Tarver continues to pop up in random spots. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi So. Gail kinda just went up about 100% on the ‘DAMN’ meter, ya think? Such a shame that she has bad taste in men. #BWF #RAW

@divadirt “Because there’s no guest stars around, you guys really have nothing to do?” says Gail re. the Bellas. Oh snap! #WWE

@seraphalexiel IF THIS MEANS GAIL KIM WRESTLING, THEN I FORGIVE THAT LAST MATCH

@HitTheRopes Holy hell, something for Gail Kim, yay! #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar OHHHH SHIT! GAIL KIM WITH THE SHOOT COMMENT

This Sunday, Edge and Randy Orton will come together as a tag team once again to take on The Miz and Dolph Ziggler!

Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris with Mason Ryan and David Otunga vs WWE Tag Team Champions Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella with Tamina

McGuillicutty and Kozlov start things off with McGuillicutty losing his mind all over Kozlov. Kozlov fights back, however, and tags in Marella, who drops McGuillicutty to the mat and puts him in a headlock. McGuillicutty fights out of it, however, and sends Santino into the corner. Santino tries to jump up on McGuillicutty, who isn’t there, and McGuillicutty takes advantage, sending Santino to his corner. Harris is tagged in and stops on Santino before picking him up and dropping him real fucking fast. Harris goes for a quick pinfall, but Santino kicks out at two. Harris keeps him in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and then Santino flips Harris over him. Harris takes exception to this, and drops Santino, before going for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Santino continues to take abuse from Harris, who has him in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Santino fights to his feet, and both men are down. Santino manages to make it over to Kozlov, but before he can tag, Harris sends Kozlov off the apron. Santino starts to get momentum, and avoids his moves. He starts to flip Harris, but instead hits Harris’ knee. Santino sets up the Cobra, and McGuillicutty starts to get in, distracting Santino, while Harris takes advantage. Harris hits some kind of harsh-looking move and pins Santino for the win.

Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris win via pinfall.

Otunga takes the mic and asks for a hand for the new Nexus, but gets boos. He says that he wants everybody to give a warm welcome to the man who has sacrificed so much for them, a man who they will sacrifice for this Sunday and help propel to victory at the 2011 Royal Rumble match. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for their leader, CM Punk. As CM Punk makes his way to the ring, Cena is backstage and is handed a referee shirt. He tosses his dog tags to the guy that gave him the shirt and makes his way to the ring.

@kickoutblog Michael Tarver should’ve handed John Cena his ref shirtt.

@TKeep123 All HAIL…..SANTINO !!!! Can Nexus handle The Cobra? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Wow. That belt has sucked out all of Tamina’s muscle. And for those keeping count, she’s wearing shoes.

CM Punk with New Nexus vs Wade Barrett with the Corre with Special Guest Referee John Cena

Haven’t done this in a while, so:

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCRAP YER POO!!!

Wait, where’s the ref shirt he was just handed? Oh, it’s under. Okay.

Cena, before the match is even started, sends the New Nexus backstage and away from ringside. The Corre is clapping, but that shit won’t last. Punk looks greatly upset. Cena seems to be distracted by the Cena chants, and sends The Corre backstage next. Told ya so.

Cena finally calls for the damn bell… and then steps between them, and shoves Punk backwards. Punk goes to attack him, and points out that he’s the ref. Then, he slaps Barrett, and points out he’s the ref. So, Punk attacks Barrett instead. Cena stands across the ring and just stands there so that Punk can attack Barrett as he wants. Punk sends Barrett out of the ring and gets in Cena’s face and yells at him, but Cena doesn’t seem fazed. He then sends Punk over the top rope, and Punk runs in, pissed, but stops himself before he hits Cena. Barrett, however, comes back in and attacks Punk, hitting a hard sidewalk slam. Cena then ignores the cover and goes out to the side and signs a few autographs, pretending that he forgot there was a match going on. Punk and Barrett are trying to wrestle, and knock each other down. Cena calls for the bell.

Cena then says that both teams are disqualified for excessive use of profanity on a PG show, and neither team is going to the Royal Rumble. And then Cena laughs. And Punk and Barrett are pissed.

“What we have just witnessed was a blatant abuse of power. Now, I can’t change the referee’s decision of this double disqualification, but I can change the consequences. Therefore, CM Punk, Wade Barrett, and their respective teams, will all compete in the Royal Rumble match Sunday. And in addition, if John Cena does not go into the ring and apologize to both Wade Barrett and CM Punk, right now, John Cena, you will be the one out of the Royal Rumble match.”

Cena’s pissed about this, and Punk and Barrett like this way too damn much. Cena pulls off his ref shirt and walks back to the ring. He slides in and stands between the two of them. He apologizes to Punk, then to Barrett, and then attacks them both. And then The Corre makes their way back down to the ring before the New Nexus follows. Cena watches both teams, but the teams seem more weary of each other than they do Cena. McGuillicutty stars to attack, and then Big Show, Bryan, Morrison, Tatsu, Henry, Kozlov, Marella, and some other people, I’m sure, start coming out. Oh, there’s Truth too.

Anyway, there’s RAW for ya. Decent build up for the Royal Rumble, though I think everyone was busier talking about Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan. Anyway, hope you all enjoy your week.

Rich Flynn’s “Smackdown” Report 12/31/10

January 2, 2011 5:48 pm 4 Comments

Hey, BWFers! Rich Flynn here, with a slightly delayed New Year’s edition of the SmackDown! report. Hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year; here’s hoping 2011 treats us all well.

For some reason, I thought we were getting two episodes of SmackDown! last week (the live episode on the Tuesday, then the regular Friday show), but apparently I was dreaming. All the same, let’s get started with the last show of 2010, shall we? (more…)

Smackdown, 11/26/10. Setting up the King of the Ring

November 27, 2010 2:21 am 2 Comments

Tonight’s Smackdown will feature four King of the Ring qualifying matches for the upcoming tournament on Monday Night RAW. It’s nice to see this tournament coming back, but first I have to suffer through Smackdown to see how the story unfolds. It’s also the fallout SD episode after Survivor Series. The outcome of the PPV was all status quo with title defences outside of Natalya’s Diva win.

At least I can post this random animated gif for you:

Logo
I love this clip

(more…)

SmackDown 10/22/10

October 24, 2010 1:22 pm 3 Comments

It’s the go home show before Bragging Rights – Does SmackDown Know the Enemy? Indeed, it’s RAW, and tonight the Monday Night superstars invade the Blue Brand! It’s Randy Orton vs. Kane in our Main Event tonight, and the two teams for Bragging Rights kick things off in the ring as Teddy Long presides over them.

(more…)

RAW 10.18.10

October 18, 2010 11:10 pm 4 Comments

Sorry about no RAW review last week. I originally planned to do it on Tuesday, but I completely forgot about a midterm, and real life caught up with me and bitch slapped be across the face. Anyway, there’s one gonna be up tonight, and that’s all that matters, right?

Tonight, John Cena will team up with WWE Champion Randy Orton against the men that got him into Nexus in the first place, Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris. How will Nexus feel about this?

RAW starts with Teddy Long, of all people, coming out. He says he’s here tonight because he can. Tonight, he’s going to take over RAW.

“Get out of my ring. Get out of my ring, now. You have no business being here.”

Teddy interrupts and says that Smackdown vs Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and brings out the Bragging Rights trophy. Teddy says that the trophy belongs to Smackdown, and they laid the Smackdown on RAW last year.

“Get out of my ring, or else.”

Teddy says he’s not threatening him? He’ll show him, or else. Teddy climbs out of the ring and he starts arguing with Cole.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

Teddy shoves the mic at Cole and goes up to the podium. He says that the Smackdown General Manager has an announcement to make. Right now, the RAW GM is going to be disconnected. He then introduces the Big Show and the rest of Team Smackdown. Edge, Alberto del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio.

AWESOME!

Turns out Team RAW wasn’t too happy about that, and Captain Miz comes out with a laughing Alex Riley. Miz says this is the team that’s supposed to take over RAW? It looks like Smurf Village next to a power plant. Miz reminds us that he was the sole RAW superstar to win at Bragging Rights last year, is the team captain this year, and will lead RAW over Team Smackdown. The trophy and the Bragging Rights that go with it, will go over to the A-Show. Miz then brings out the rest of Team RAW: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus. Miz then tells them to get out of their ring, or they’ll make them get out.

Team RAW starts walking down to the ring, and then the brawl starts in the ring between the two teams. While they’re all killing each other, I wanna say that it’s really cool to see Ezekiel Jackson back. Miz then grabs his team and exits the ring, saving that they need to save it for Sunday. Show takes a mic and says, don’t go back there and start a ruckus. He gets it, it’s his ring. Smackdown will get out of the ring, willingly, if Miz will face Show one-on-one in a Captain vs Captain match. Miz agrees to it.

Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty.

@legendkiller515 will someone please smack the hell outta cole #wwe #raw #bwf

@CawCawBang Go away Cole you ugly troll

@Lunna1969: Smurfette! Lmao! W2g Miz #RAW #WWE

We come back to the Tag Team Champions standing in the ring.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs The Hart Dynasty with Natalya

Rhodes and Kidd start out, Kidd going for McIntyre before Rhodes plants him and gets the advantage. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, who dominates Kidd. McIntyre plants Kidd’s face into the barrier before getting him back in the ring and tagging in Rhodes. McIntyre drops Kidd onto the ropes and holds him there for Rhodes to kick him in the ribs. Rhodes then tags back in McIntyre and they throw Kidd into the turnbuckle. Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who hits a drop kick on McIntyre and gets the momentum back on their side. He then hits two big kicks on Rhodes and McIntyre. He goes for a cover on McIntyre, but he kicks out at two. Smith hits a running power slam and goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up. Rhodes goes to attack Smith, but Kidd attacks him. They set up for the Hart Attack, but Smith decides to attempt a Sharpshooter last minute. Smith gets distracted by Kidd and McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

Natalya proceeds to yell at David Hart Smith about how they’re a team.

Backstage, Cena’s thoughtful and Randy Orton walks up. He says that they should lay all the cards on the table. He can tell that Cena being a part of Nexus is eating him up, but he doesn’t think that it would stop him from helping Barrett take the WWE Championship away from him. So, if Cena helps, Orton won’t have any problem punting him in the skull. Cena says that if he even tries, Cena will break that leg off.

@kickoutblog We need Bret to fix these… broken Harts. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

@HitTheRopes Look, Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are offering their 2 cents…. Get it? 2 cents. (tag titles look like 2 pennies) #rimshot #wwe

Goldust with Aksana vs. Zack Ryder

Damn. I hate that they won’t play Ryder’s theme song. I jam out to it when they play it. Anyway.

Ted DiBiase and Maryse make their way out to the stage to watch the match as Ryder gets an early advantage over Goldust, which Goldust gets back by slapping Zack in the face. Goldust hits the final cut, and the match is over.

Goldust wins via pinfall.

Ted DiBiase makes his way to the ring and attacks Goldust from behind. Maryse went to grab the Million Dollar Belt, but Aksana got it. Maryse then chases Maryse out of the ring to try to get the belt back. Goldust gets up in the ring and hits the Final Cut on DiBiase too. I admit, I’m loving the weird Goldust’s return.

Still to come, Smackdown vs RAW starts early as the Big Show takes on The Miz.

@kickoutblog I kinda wish they would’ve done that video like those old Disney sing-a-longs with a bouncing R-Truth thread.

@WWEsAngel_Nef Bwahahahahahahahaha <—-My reaction to R-Truth’s video package. #WWE

@HitTheRopes Maryse and Aksana face to face. It’s as if Maryse was looking in a mirror…. a mirror that is worn, dusty, and doesn’t show sexy #wwe

Barrett is standing with Nexus and Cena walks in. Barrett says that he wants Cena to test Harris and McGuillicutty, to see if they’re good enough to join the Nexus. Cena said that Barrett just told him to go out there and give it everything he’s got, and those are his orders? He asks what the catch is, and Barrett says that there’s no catch: tonight he has the opportunity to show the WWE Universe the Cena they know and love, then orders him to get him a glass of water.

The kid from Role Models and the new Knucklehead movie, Bobbie Thompson, is playing Smackdown vs RAW with Show vs Miz, and Show wins. Miz then picks him up and to tell him that Miz has a surprise for him. Show then takes Bobbie, and puts him down. Bobbie then says that Show has to knock Miz out for him.

Cena comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Barrett, who says it wasn’t difficult. Barrett wants Cena to know that he’s really enjoying it, then splashes the water in Cena’s face.

@kickoutblog Miz is assaulting children now? #favoritewrestlerever

@FrankWWEClown Heath Slater, stop smirking, you little creep. #WWE #RAW

@CawCawBang When did little chris rock come in?

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WATER BOY!

John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton vs Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris

Is it just me, or does Husky look like a pedobear remake? Hmm…

Nexus come up to the stage to watch the match. Cena and McGuillicutty start, and Cena starts unleashing on McGuillicutty. Cena hurls McGuillicutty around the ring before throwing McGuillicutty after a vicious looking fisherman suplex.

@redsandman99 I think it should be illegal for Husky Harris to not wear a shirt

@kickoutblog Should be interesting to see what Husky & Imperfect can do when they don’t have to carry a keg.

Now Randy and McGuillicutty are in the ring, and McGuillicutty kicks out of a cover as Orton tags in Cena. Cena hits McGuillicutty, then goes to take Harris off the apron, then running into a dropkick. Harris gets his chance at retribution and beats up on Cena in the corner. Harris goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris tags in McGuillicutty who beats up on Cena and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out. Harris tags himself in and seems to get stuck for a minute between the ropes, throwing himself into Cena’s face. He goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out. Harris has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock, but Cena fights to his feet before Harris puts his knee in Cena’s spine. Cena’s flat on the ring floor, but rolls out of the way before Harris squishes him flatter than a pancake hits him. Orton gets in the ring with McGuillicutty and hits a scoop slam. McGuillicutty rolled out to the apron, hoping it would save him, and Orton pulls him between the top and middle rope before hitting the DDT. He points to Barrett, getting ready for the RKO, pushing Harris into Cena for an Attitude Adjustment. Orton then hits the RKO on McGuillicutty and pins him for the win.

WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena win via pinfall.

Cena seems content that he, for once, was able to fight in his own way and won, again. He offers Orton a hand, but Barrett tells him to hold it right there, and tells him not to shake Orton’s hand, and then tells him to get out of the ring, and it’s an order. Cena looks at Orton for a minute, then climbs out of the ring. Barrett says that Cena has the best spot in the house to witness the demise of the Viper, as Nexus surrounds the ring. Orton looks at Cena and then hits Barrett before throwing Slater out of the ring and then is ambushed by Nexus outside the ring. Nexus gets Orton back in the ring, but Orton manages to fight back for a minute before getting overwhelmed again. The crowd is cheering for Cena, but he hasn’t moved. Slater hits his finisher, for the first time since NXT, then Otunga does, then Gabriel. Barrett tells Cena to get in the ring, and Cena does so. Barrett says that he wants Cena to give Orton an Attitude Adjustment, and Cena says that that’s enough. Barrett says do it, or Cena’s fired. Cena gets Randy up to his feet, then on his shoulders. Barrett then tells Cena to give Randy to him. Barrett then hits the Wasteland on Orton. Cena walks out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, shaking his head.

@kickoutblog Even better joke: Husky Harris is only heavier because he’s being weighed on the metric system. #Canada

@HitTheRopes Slater and Otunga need to go back to the lab and come up with a better finishing move. #wwe

Vickie comes out, just when everyone thought that it couldn’t get worse, but guess what! This is RAW!! Vickie says that she is happy to take credit for the Smackdown superstars appearing on RAW tonight, and there is one special superstar who has a special twinkle in his eyes, because his eyes are only on her: The Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

Dolph says that people confuse his cockiness when it’s really just confidence. He can’t blame them, he’s got it all: The looks, the shredded physique, gorgeous head of hair, and that’s not the best part. The most beautiful, intelligent woman on the face of this earth is with him. She’s the ray of sunshine when his skies are gray, she makes his heart go pitter-patter—

Daniel Bryan interrupts and says that he may not be a lady’s man (to which Dolph replies with, “I noticed”), and says that even he could do better than Vickie. Bryan says that he doesn’t have the movie star looks, peroxide infested hair, but he does have the ability to capitalize on any mistake in that ring, and the ability to make Dolph tap out. So, he proposes the United States Champion vs the Intercontinental Champion at Bragging Rights. Vickie seems to be encouraging this. Dolph says that he accepts, but why wait until Sunday? Why don’t they do this right- and then slaps Bryan. Dolph then steps behind Vickie, who steps in front of Dolph. Bryan then side-steps Vickie and tackles Dolph, preventing him from leaving. Bryan then locks in the LaBell Lock, making Dolph tap. Then, the Divas randomly come out and make their way into the ring with Vickie. The Divas surround Vickie and tell her to leave the ring. Gail throws a bucket of glitter at her, then Eve pours it on her. The Divas then seem to be paying way too much attention to Daniel, and they all start to dance with him… and it’s painful.

Anyway, hopefully Captain vs Captain can save RAW… because my head is already spinning.

@bethsharae Oh no! Not glitter!!! #WWE #Raw I guess I should scream all the time at crafts time.

@TKeep123 How can Dolph say this crap with a straight face? (Better check the Wellness policy again!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Vickie Guerrero is amazing, why does she need that many zippers? Because fuck you, that’s why!

@Niki_Sushi I don’t know which is more obnoxious – ‘EXCUSE ME!’ or ‘AND I QUOTE!’… #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes: Oh, @WWEDanielBryan, in wrestling you might be best in the world…. at dancing, not so much. LOL

Natalya vs Alicia Fox

Let’s see how short this match is! I’m going to time it!

Alicia slaps Nat a few good times and then tries to shout out to Calgary. Natalya then throws Alicia into the turnbuckle, twice, and then throws her across the ring. Nat tries to go for the Sharpshooter, but Alicia grabs the ropes. Natalya pulls her back, and locks in the Sharpshooter, making Alicia tap.

Natalya wins via submission.

LayCool interferes and says it’s a beautiful moment in a NOT beautiful hometown. LayCool says they would love Canada, but it’s so cold and they have watered down beer, and they say ‘eh’ all the time. And they see Harts everywhere. They say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but in the loony bin. LayCool then starts to go into the ring, but Natalya’s ready. Nat gets Layla, but Michelle comes in. Michelle then puts Natalya in the Sharpshooter, Layla takes a picture, and Natalya counters. Lay tries to help Michelle, and nearly gets put in the Sharpshooter herself. LayCool runs off.

Oh, overall Diva MATCH time, about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Teddy, Show, and Hornswoggle are talking backstage, and Josh Matthews says that it’s rather brazen of them to show up on RAW with Team Smackdown. Hornswoggle grabs a Team Smackdown flag and the entire Smackdown Roster starts heading out.

@kickoutblog If I were The Undertaker and had to listen Michelle McCool talk all the time, I’d want to be buried alive too

@CawCawBang Nattie don’t play along with Laycool’s bullshit

@bethsharae Alicia is gonna throw a hip out if she swings them any harder. #WWE #Raw

@WWEsAngel_Nef God I hate Alicia Fox’s walk. I can’t stand it. She’s gonna break a freaking hip. #WWE

So, the longest part of this show is the Stand Up For WWE video package. So… Yeah.

Oh, we’re back. Cena’s walking away and Barrett stops him, saying he’s not finished with him or Orton yet. There we go. Next up, Team RAW’s captain The Miz will take on Team Smackdown’s captain, The Big Show… and all of Smackdown?

@Niki_Sushi So.. I’m loving this video. Because it’s showing where the WWE goes, and not just on land and the airwaves. They reach hearts-who else does?

@CawCawBang I’m so happy and proud to be a WWE fan

@kickoutblog And “Do you smell what Barack is cookin?” is still amazing. #TheRockObama

@WWEsAngel_Nef LOL God Vince McMahon is good at what he does. Way to do some quick damage control. Nice video package. #WWE

We’re finally going to introduce the guest star, Bobbie J Thompson. Sweet. He says he loves the boos and to keep them coming. He says that he’s there to introduce the man who’s going to leave Team Smackdown to a victory over Team RAW: The Big Show. No, but seriously. Where’s the muzzle on that kid?

Show comes out with Hornswoggle behind him, waving the flag, and Team Smackdown follows him out. Actually, all of Smackdown follows him out.

Miz comes out, but tells Alex Riley to stay behind and walks down to the ring alone. He pauses though, grinning and motioning for everyone else to come out. Team RAW comes out, followed by the RAW roster.

The Big Show vs The Miz

Show closes in on Miz, rips his shirt, and slaps his chest. Show continues to rip up the RAW shirt and slaps his chest again. Show then Irish Whips Miz into a corner, and Show throws him out of the ring. Smackdown closes in, and RAW starts to close in too. Show attacks RAW, and when Smackdown comes in, Show rolls in the ring.

Teddy Long comes out and says that since Bragging Rights is only six days away and everyone from both rosters is out there, he says that they have themselves a Smackdown vs RAW battle royal, and they’re going to do it right now.

Now, I hate reviewing battle royals. So, I hope you watched RAW to figure out what happens, because I’m only going to tell you the winner.

@TKeep123 Ok, I’m old, but the Red and Blue is reminding me of “Rock’em Sock’em Robots!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

Hornswoggle beats Cole up and takes his spot as an announcer, and no one knows what the fuck is going on in the ring. I can’t tell you what’s going on, but Swagger loses his mind and puts Edge in an ankle lock. Toward the end here, a bunch of RAW guys got eliminated and Smackdown is doing a good job holding their own. The last Smackdown guy ends up as The Big Show against Sheamus, Bryan, Jackson, and Miz. Down goes Bryan, then Jackson. Miz and Sheamus work together to get Show over the top rope, and no one remembered Edge wasn’t technically eliminated. So, Edge and Show are the only two left in the ring.

Team Smackdown wins.

Nexus is watching backstage, and Barrett says that all of them, and Cena, are going to witness what’s going to happen Sunday when he’s crowned WWE Champion. Barrett tells Cena to raise his hand as a token of victory. Cena shoves Slater and Gabriel out of the way and raises Barrett’s hand before walking away.

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Daniel Bryan dancing is burned behind my retina, so I’m going to go watch… something to get the image out of my head. Good night.

Smackdown 10/08/10

October 9, 2010 2:04 am 3 Comments

Smackdown has been up and down throughout 2010. Some weeks it pleasantly surprises this smark, and others it bores the hell out of this here reviewer. Which version of the show will we get coming off of the Hell in the Cell PPV? Only one way to find out.
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Smackdown 10/01/10: Live on SyFy Debut

October 2, 2010 2:50 am 3 Comments

For those residing in the U.S.A., Smackdown has officially moved to SyFy and broadcasts live tonight. Whether or not this move will improve ratings for the B show or not, obviously remains to be seen. WWE will likely pull out all the stops tonight and feature some RAW talent to bolster the viewing audience. Let’s see what in tarnation they’ve done… (more…)

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