Apparently, as this goes to print, I have been bought out. A deal has been made between Joe and ‘the Donald’, which means that this week’s column is bought to you by ‘the Donald’.
WWE
The Bash is this weekend, so I suppose, i’d better preview it for the public.
Jimmy Valiant vs Paul Jones in a Dog Collar match
Expect the ‘Handsome’ one to win this one.
Billy Graham, Konga the Barbarian and Abdullah the Butcher w/Paul Jones vs Manny Fernandez, Sam Houston and Buzz Tyler
Even though their manager competed in the first match, I see Graham’s team winning. The size and craziness of the Butcher will be too much for the other team to handle.
Ron Bass w/James J. Dillon vs Buddy Landell
I see the future Horsemen manager playing a part in this one. Ron Bass takes it out for me.
Minnesota Wrecking Crew (c) (Ole and Arn Anderson) vs Buzz Sawyer and Dick Slater – NWA National Tag Team Championship
I see the Andersons scraping this one out and retaining the gold.
NWA World Tag Team Champions: Krusher Khruschev and Ivan Koloff vs the AWA World Tag Team Champions: the Road Warriors w/Paul Ellering
I see the AWA Champs taking this one out in what will sure to be nothing short of a fight between these four guys.
Somehow, in some way, I can see Magnum retaining the gold. Possibly by a countout or a disqualification, but he will retain.
Ric Flair (c) vs Nikita Koloff w/Ivan Koloff with David Crockett as Referee for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Flair always seems to rise in the big occasions, and even with the help of Ivan, I can’t see Nikita winning. The dirtiest player in the game gtes the win.
Tully Blanchard (c) w/Baby Doll vs Dusty Rhodes for the NWA World Television Chanpionship in a Steel Cage
Blanchard has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from the American Dream. One final Bionic Elbow and Dusty becomes champ.
TNA
They had a PPV. Slammiversary Seven. It was a momentus occasion, considering seven seems to be the celebratory number in TNA. Anyways, let’s review the results shall we?
Pre Show: the British Invasion def. Eric Young and Rhino
Who cared?
Suicide (c) def. ‘Paparazzi’ Alex Shelley, Randy Savage, Afro Thunder and Chris Sabin in a King of the Mountain match for the X Division Championship
Nice to see Kaz is still in the mask (Note: Suicide isn’t kaz, it’s this guy.
Daniels def. Shane Douglas for Daniels’ TNA roster spot
Money on it, that Douglas is on this week’s iMPACT.
Angelina Love (c) w/Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne def. Tara for the Knockouts Championship
“…All the things she said, running through my head…”
Abyss and Taylor Wilde def. Daffney and Raven w/Dr. Stevie in a Monster’s Ball Mixed tag match
Didn’t they have one of these like last month?
Rhino def. Team Canada (Bobby Roode and Coach D’Amore) in a Handicap match
This match happened at the 2006 edition of Slammiversary, thus not relevant to this particular PPV
Sting def. Matt Morgan for a spot in the Main Event Mafia
As if Morgan was going to win
Beer Money def. Team 3D (c) to win the TNA Tag Team Championship
Justice has been served, one half of AMW and one fifth? one sixth? of Team Canada reclaim the gold. Best Tag team in wrestling. BEER! MONEY!
Kurt Angle def. Mick Foley (c), Jeff Jarrett, Gonorrhea, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Christian Cage, Alzheimer’s Disease, Samoa Joe, Chris Harris, Scott Steiner, Doink the Clown, the Rock, Lance Hoyt, Lo-Ki, heel CM Punk, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Vitali Klitschko, Vlade Divac, Chris Webber, Anfernee Hardway, Toby Keith, Christy Hemme, ABBA, Stephen Root, George Constanza, Trey Parker, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Syphillis, John C. Reilly, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Bill Guerin, Alzheimer’s Disease, the Triumvirate of TN-Awesomeness, Nash Bridges, Cheech Marin, Tecmo Superbowl, Wario, Sidney Crosby, ThinkSoJoe’s ex-wife, Mick Foley’s book ‘the Hardcore Diaries’, a Bookshelf, AJ Styles, Air Paris, the 1973 Chicago Bears, Terry Bradshaw’s hairpiece, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, Chainsaw Charlie and Alzhe … I forget in a King of the Mountain match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship
Well, well, well. Here we are at another Wednesday, which normally means you’d read about my views about the week that was in professional wrestling. But this week, I’d thought I’d try something different. I dont know how this will turn out, but here goes.
The View of the Non-Wrestling Fan
James Guttman said it best in his book, World Wrestling Insanity: the Fall and Decline of a Family Empire, when he quoted the adage “For those who enjoy it, no explanation is needed. For those who don’t, no explanation will do”. I can sit here for hours, trying to explain to you why exactly I an a fan of the business this website is based on, but to be honest, I cant. What I can tell you, is that there were three things that got me going, my second eldest brother, some WWF Steel Cage wrestling game for the SEGA Mega Drive, and Shawn Michaels. Infact, Michaels and Bret Hart were my Tag Team Champions on that game. This was 1993. Little did I know of the future these two would have. But moving on, the reason this column is being written as you see it, is because of work, and my lunch breaks.
In the past couple of days, I have been taking in some PPVs to watch during my 30-minute break. Which normally means I get a full match in. However, what I have found, is that there people in my workplace, who cannot stand the sight of wrestling. They are the type who say ‘it’s fake’ or ‘they know what’s gonna happen, don’t they’? This is where the old adage I mentioned earlier comes in. No matter what I say, I cannot and will not change their minds about what they think.
The following is from the point-of-view of the non-wrestling fan. The PPV in question, is Judgment Day 2000. The match was the first on the card. A six-man tag between Edge, Christian and Kurt Angle versus Too Cool and Rikishi.
There was a time in this match where, I think it was Rikishi was in the ring, and he was beating up all three of his opponents. Now, rather than ganging up for a 3-on-1 assault, they attacked him individually. Infact, one waited for the other to be knocked down, before making his move. Now, common sense will tell you that, if you have three guys, against one, then the three should attack all at once, thus increasing their chances of beating down the one. I decided not to argue, and infact listen to their opinions of the action. Here’s some questions that arose, other than the one I just mentioned:
What is the point of that (Scotty 2 Hotty’s worm) when all that happens is a chop to the throat that misses by three inches?
They wouldnt be able to do this as much as they do if they actually connected?
and one that I came up with …
What was everyone’s fascination with Too Cool? They sucked!
Let’s analyze as the wrestling fan. Scotty’s worm is purely for show. Much like Rock’s ‘People’s Elbow’, or Hogan’s ‘Leg Drop’. They’re basic moves done in a way to make it look like it would have more effect on their opponent, when really, it wouldnt do much to them at all.
If they actually connected, you would only see a guy wrestle every few months. You don’t see the same guy fight at a UFC PPV 3,4,5 months running, because it would be almost physically impossible to not only compete, but to be able to recover enough from the beating they received in their last bout. Also, they are entertainers. I was told something which struck a cord with me. “That’s why wrestlers become good actors, because they need to act in order to do this (wrestle)”. I agree with this statement. Would the Rock, or Steve Austin, or John Cena be as good as what they in the movies, without performing in a wrestling ring? We cannot answer that, with a definite answer, but being involved with ‘Sports Entertainment’ has helped, and thats all the wrestling business is now. It’s ‘Sports Entertainment’, not ‘professional wrestling’.
I think the point I’m trying to make is, we all know we know it. Some of us can explain why we like this guy, or boo that guy, but some of us don’t understand why others don’t like it as much. My advice is, chances are your not going to change someones mind about it, but listen to their thoughts. Look at things from another perspective, a non-wrestling fan’s perspective. You might just learn a thing or two, but most of all, realize, that Too Cool really did suck.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
TNA Lockdown
I’ve been promoting this PPV for weeks. I even talked about this PPV during Wrestlemania week, without talking about Wrestlemania. With all that said, did they let me down? Well, it depends on which way you look at it.
For those who watched it, I’ve heard mixed reactions, although some of these reactions have come from the same TNA bashers each week who have watched previous PPVs in the past and think that the rest will be the same. However, right here on this very website, our very own Drowgoddess, thought the PPV was at least decent. Infact, she enjoyed it. I didnt watch it, and Drow did, so I will take her word on how good it was. But that doesnt mean I have nothing to say.
How can Team 3D, have numerous ‘Rough Cuts’ segments, stating how they help the young guys, that they’re not there to be selfish and that they’re there to put over the young guys. Then why in the hell, did they NOT put over Beer Money Inc. at Lockdown? Was it because it was in Philly, your ‘hometown’ so to speak? Brother Ray, Brother Devon, since when did you guys become Bret Hart? It shouldnt matter if your ‘home’ or away, if the jobs to be done, then the jobs to be done. There is absolutely no reason why Team 3D should be the Tag Team Champions at this moment. It seems that you lie to your wrestling school, when you say you help the young guys, because all you done at Lockdown, was squash all the momentum James Storm and Robert Roode had. Thanks a lot Team 3D.
Suicide needs to be someone new, and not guys like Daniels or Kaz. if Suicide was a new guy, then you could have guys like Daniels, Kaz and Suicide on the roster, whereas this way, only one of Daniels and Kaz can be on the roster, otherwise one will be pulling double-duty every night. Daniels has just come back to the roster as himself, but he also donned the Suicide outfit for Lockdown, which means he wrestled two matches in the night, when he shouldnt of had to. Many people could complain as to why you turned a video game character into a real-life character, but I’m not one of those. The only thing that upsets me about Suicide, is that it isnt someone new in that suit.
Angelina Love won the KnockOuts belt. It gives Awesome Kong the chance for some time off, which is a good thing. However, is it such a godd thing for everything else. The Beautiful People is a good heel group in the KnockOuts division, especially since Kute Kip stopped hanging around, and they recruited Madison Rayne. The problem with Angelina Love with the belt is this, she has zero ability. It would be like, Lauren winning the belt. Thats how much ability she has, and plus, it will probably lead to a rift between Love and fellow members Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne, which will lead to the break-up of the group, which can only mean bad things for TNA. Sure, they have SoJo Bolt and Rhaka Khan as heels, but against the face core of Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, ODB, Kong, Raisha Saeed and Daffney, it is pivotial in this columnist’s opinion that they dont break up the Beautiful People over the title. But I suppose, like everything else in the world, only time will tell.
MotorCity Machine Guns retained the belts. Nice to see TNA actually see them as a Tag Team champion, even if it is only the Junior IWGP Tag Team Champions. They’re still champions. A note to Team 3D, have these guys beat you for your Tag gold. Thats right, you say you help the young guys, but you’d just rather squash. Sorry for suggesting you actually lose clean.
ODB won Queen of the Cage, thus becoming #1 contender for the KnockOuts title. Who is that guy with her? Since when did they hire Joe Dirt? JT would’ve been a better winner.
Abyss, Matt Morgan, Tean Jarrett and Team Angle? Meh.
Sting and Mick Foley. We have a new champion folks, and it’s Mick Foley. You know Mick Foley, he was thrown off a cage in 1996. He won his first major title as Mankind in 1998. It’s nice to see Sting putting over the young guys. Great job, Sting! I dont care how good the match may have been. It’s a joke that Foley is champ. Isnt he the Commish, or the Executive Shareholder or something like that? How can an authority figure win the belt? It’s like when Vince McMahon won the 1998 Royal Rumble, only Foley’s win makes no sense. Foley equals Ratings, bullshit. Pushing the young guys, and providing an actual wrestling show. That equals Ratings.
WWE Backlash
The Pay-Per-View is this Sunday. You think i’m lying don’t you? I promise you, I’m not. I wish I was though, because the matches they are providing doesnt exactly show a ‘great’ PPV. let me show you.
The Main Event has the Legacy (Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes), face off against the team of Shane McMahon, Batista and the WWE Champion, Triple H. The stipulation is as follows. If any members of Randy Orton’s team wins, then Randy Orton wins the title, however, if any members of Triple H’s team wins, then Triple H retains the title. Judging by the tension between Shane and Batista on RAW the past weeks, and Batista’s spear on Shane during the Orton/HHH NoDQ match on RAW this past week, I can say with great security, that Batista gets the pin for his team, then lays claim to the title, and challenges Triple H.
John Cena defends the World Heavyweight Championship, against the former holder, Edge, in a Last Man Standing match. Is it just me, or have these two feuded since New Year’s Revolution 2007, when Edge cashed in Money in the Bank, after Cena survivng the Elimination Chamber? This is about the only match that these two havent competed in against each other, besides Hell In A Cell. Cena doesnt interest me, and Edge, well, maybe with Vickie Guerrero on RAW now, he can become a heel on his own accord, rather than using the likes of Lita, and Vickie to help him get there.
Jack Swagger defends the ECW Championship against Christian. Yes, really. The ECW Title is being defended on Pay-Per-View. Shocking. Anyways, after the four-way, three-match elimination process, which saw Mark Henry, Tommy Dreamer and Finlay eliminated. Christian winds up as number one contender. This gives them one-week, two shows (ECW and Superstars), to build this match into any insignificance. With Swagger’s poor performance at No Way Out, many say he’s being punished. If that’s the case, then Swagger has an uphill ride ahead of him if he wants to get back to the levels he’s at now.
Chris Jericho vs Ricky Steamboat. It seems those in the WWE were impressed with Steamboat’s performance at Wrestlemania, that they’ve decided to book him in a match, against Jericho. Another match with pretty much zero buildup, which doesnt sound good. However, we know Jericho can go, it depends on if Steamboat can go at least ten minutes to make this match anything.
Jeff Hardy faces his brother Matt in an ‘I Quit’ match. This sure seems to be the PPV for gimmicks, doesnt it? I thought their gimmick PPV was a entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ and it was in June? Hmmm, I must be mistaken. This looks like the match to end the feud between the Hardy Boyz, which has stemmed since the Survivor Series. The fans utterly adore Jeff, so let’s hope he puts over his brother Matt, to give him the push. Otherwise, it’s a TNA-story all over again.
Khali kissing ‘Santina’ on Khali-kiss cam? Your kidding me, right? No? This is really happening. A guy in drag, is gonna kiss a big, useless guy whose claim to fame is being an extra in the re-make of the Longest Yard. I will use a quote, from US tennis great John McEnroe here when I say “You can’t be serious”.
CM Punk vs Kane? Since when? Apparently, this match stems from the end of the Money in the Bank ladder match at Wrestlemania, in which Punk kicked Kane off the ladder, in order to grab the briefcase. The only other build-up this match has had, was a match on RAW between the two (remember, CM Punk and Kane were both drafted to SmackDown!, so why are they competing on RAW is my question), in which Punk countered the Chokeslam into a roll-up into a three count. Why do I get the feeling that Backlash is like one big jigsaw, that has been put together very rushed and all the pieces are in the wrong spot.
This PPV doesnt make me think it’s a must-watch, or even a maybe-watch. Maybe it’s the PPV after Wrestlemania. Maybe it’s the rush job they have done in creating matches, or maybe it’s me wanting to watch SummerSlam ’99 again. Whatever the reason, I’m staying away from Backlash.
WWE Vintage Collection
This, I have to say, is the only WWE show, I enjoy watching. For those who havent seen it, it’s hosted by ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund, and it’s an hour log show, remembering the shows of yesteryear. Anything from past Wrestlemanias, to U.K. only specials, to weekly shows from the 80s. It’s an old-school fan’s delight, and now, starting this week, I am recapping this show for WorldWrestlingInsanity.com, due to leave taken by their usual recapper. Whether it’s only a part-time gig, or whether it’s a more permanent role remains to be seen, but my first recap from what I understand, will appear at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com today! Go check it out, and enjoy the Battle Royal at Royal Albert Hall from October 3, 1991.
That’s it for another Wednesday. Be sure to check back each and every day for various columns and results from the fellow Bored Wrestling Fan crew. But, from this columnist, I bid you adieu.
Due to the length of today’s post, I have edited it to better suit the front page. The draft picks will be listed here by brand at the top of the post, and the in-depth analysis will be found after the jump. This is done in Real-Time, so click your browser’s refresh button every 10 minutes or so for the latest picks!
RAW
Mr. Kennedy
Primo
Nikki Bella
Chavo Guerrero
Hornswoggle
Carlito
Festus
The Brian Kendrick
Brie Bella
SmackDown
Shad Gaspard
Alicia Fox
Mike Knox
Candice Michelle
Ricky Ortiz
Layla
John Morrison
JTG
Dolph Ziggler
Charlie Haas
ECW
Ezikiel Jackson
Zack Ryder
DH Smith
Natalya
Hurricane Helms
Full analysis of the 2008 supplemental draft picks, after the jump! (more…)
I may not be the best at it, and nobody else may know about it. But, I, is bringing you LIVE, Wrestlemania 25.
Just to let you know, the Unified Tag Team Titles, was the PRE-SHOW match.
Your winners, and Unified Tag Team Champions … THE COLONS!! Which makes my head and my heart 0-1.
The opening video shows several superstars telling us which was their favourite WM moment, Good touch, I thought.
The show starts with Nicole Schren…Zinger Burger, singing ‘America the Beautiful’. She cant sing.
Oh, btw, I’m running Real Time here, and posting in the boards at WWI.com
J.R., Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler on commentary.
Match One: MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
CM Punk(RAW) vs Mark Henry(ECW)w/Tony Atlas vs MVP(Smackdown!) vs Finlay (ECW) w/Hornswoggle vs Shelton Benjamin(Smackdown!) vs Kofi Kingston(RAW) vs Christian(ECW) vs Kane(RAW)
The match begins, Shelton and Christian head outside, everyone else brawls in the ring. Kane and Mark Henry clear out the ring, and start on each other. Christian and Shelton bring a ladder into the ring and take out Kane and Henry. Kofi comes in and dropkicks the ladder, knoking down both men. Kane and Mark Henry now climbing the ladder, until the other six men knock them down. Finlay, MVP, Punk and Benjamin are on top of two ladders, until Kane and Henry knock down both ladders, sending four men flying. Now, Kane’s the only man standing. he climbs the ladder, until Henry knocks the ladder over. Henry sends a ladder flying at Finlay. Finlay ducks, takes out Henry, then suicide dives on those on the outside. Christian, then dives at Kane and Finlay. MVP drops an elbow on the three men on the outside, then Kofi and Punk dive on the four. Benjamin off a ladder dives on six men!! Leaving Mark Henry the only one not to dive on everyone. Henry to the top rope, ready to dive, until Finlay takes him out. Hornswoggle with a step ladder, uses it to climb on Henry’s back, and Hornswoggle dives on top of everyone. Finlay the only one standing. Attacks Kofi in the corner, but Kofiu retaliates, but taking Finlay out. Kofi charges, but Finlay puts the step-ladder in the way, and nails Kofi. Finlay taking everyone out with the step-ladder. Finlay climbing up the ladder, until Kofi jumps up and kicks him off. Kofi starts to climb, until Henry returns and pushes the ladder over, knocking Kofi off. Kofi almost climbs up the ladder, but he falls at the last step, is caught be Henry, who gives him a World’s Strongest Slam on the ladder. MVP back now, attacking Henry with the ladder. MVP and Shelton now at it. A ladder placed between another ladder and the top rope. Shelton ducks under one ladder, then jumps up on it and after MVP, who counters into a powerbomb. Punk now touching the briefcase, until Christian stops him. Christian standing on one ladder, with the Unprettier on CM Punk off the ladder. MVP now back up, climbing the ladder, until Shelton joins him. Shelton tries a Sunset Flip, but MVP tries to counter. Shelton then throws MVP over the top rope onto Mark Henry. Shelton climbing the ladder, joined by Finlay. Finlay gets throws off. Christian gets Shelton off the ladder. Shelton sets up another ladder, and he and Christian climb up the two ladders. The ladder tilts, Shelton falls off but Christian holds on. Punk climbs up, but gets his foot caught on the ladder. Kane comes back and throws Christian off the ladder. Punk back up, tries to reach, but Kane grabs Punk. Punk kicks Kane off the ladder and grabs the briefcase.
YOUR WINNER : CM PUNK
Slim Jim is a sponsor of WM25.
Highlights of the WWE WM Fan AXXess tour. The tour looks huge! It would be a good event to go to, damn you Drow.
Lilian Garcia introduces Kid Rock. Kid Rock performs ‘Bawitaba’, ‘Rock and Roll Jesus’, ‘Cowboy’, ‘All Summer Long’ and ‘So Hott’. He sure looks old these days. But, you have to like the Elvis Costello impression. I apologize if I dont name all the songs he performs in this medley. I’m not a Kid Rock fanatic. The medley leads into Match Two
MATCH TWO: 25 DIVA BATTLE ROYAL TO DETERMINE MISS WRESTLEMANIA
Guest Timekeeper Mae Young with Candice Michelle. Rosa Mendes eliminated. Leyla eliminated before the match began. Sorry about the lack of detail for this match. i’m just doing eliminations. Someone got eliminated, but I cant tell who it is. Sunny and Torrie Wilson eliminated. Maria eliminated by Victoria. the Bella Twins and Jillian eliminated. Tiffany eliminated by Beth Phoenix. Kelly Kelly eliminated, Molly Holly eliminated. Maryse out. Santino’s in drag. Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool, Santina?, and Melina left. Michelle and Mickie eliminate each other. Santina eliminate Beth and Melina.
YOUR WINNER: SANTINA!! The next Harvey Whippleman. I think we just found JT’s new bride, now the contest for ODB is over.
Chris Jericho vs Jimmy Snuka, Ricky Steamboat and Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair is next. Trailer for ‘the Wrestler’ plays. Video for the mext match plays.
MATCH THREE: THREE ON ONE ELIMINATION HANDICAP MATCH
Chris Jericho vs Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka and ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper w/ ‘Nature Boy’ Ric Flair’
Mickey Rourke is sitting ringside for this one.
Jericho and Piper starts. Piper spits at Y2J and tackles him to the ground. Piper takes Jericho to the outside, but gets caught in the ropes. Piper untangles himself. Throws Y2J back in, Piper sunset flip and a 2. Piper with a dropkick!! Piper with punches in the corner, Snuka asks for the tag and gets it. Sunka and Jericho now in the ring. Snuka with punches and chops and tags in Steamboat. Steamboat off the top rope, then with a couple of arm drags. Steamboat working on the left arm of Y2J. Steamboat tags in Snuka, and they double-team Y2J. Snuka with a headbutt. Snuka goes for another move but counters into the walls, and Snuka taps out.
JIMMY SNUKA IS ELIMINATED
Piper in the ring with Jericho. Piper with an eye-poke, then with a sleeper hold. Jericho counters into a running enziguri, and gets the three.
RODDY PIPER IS ELIMINATED
Steamboat and Jericho left. Steamboat with a cross-body off the top and gets a two. Jericho now on the attack. Jericho with a Chin Lock on Steamboat. Steamboat fights back, knocks Jericho down with a Shoulder Block. Steamboat skins the cat, throws Jericho to the outside, then does a Springboard Splash on Jericho. Steamboat off the top with a Clothesline. Steamboat with a roll-up and another two. Jericho now on the attack. Jericho counters the Irish Whip, Jericho with the Bulldog, but Steamboat dodges the Lionsault. Steamboat with the Powerslam, another two. Steamboat gets countered into the Walls, but Steamboat counters into a roll-up and another two-count. Jericho hits the CodeBreaker! and gets the three.
RICKY STEAMBOAT IS ELIMINATED!
YOUR WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO
Post match, Flair in the ring, chops on Y2J, whips Jericho into the ropes, but Jericho counters with a Back Body Drop. Jericho now hits the CodeBreaker on Flair. Jericho grabs a microphone. Turns his attention to Mickey Rourke, challenges Mickey Rourke and wants him to apologize. Jericho eggs Rourke on, calling him a coward and a liar among other things. Rourke comes out from the crowd, and heads toward the ring. Rourke in the ring, and does this count as a match? Rourke fires some left jabs toward Jericho. Jericho manages to get out of the way. Jericho swings at Rourke, Rourke dodges and connects with a left-hook to Jericho. Shades of Wrestlemania 14 and Mike Tyson,as Mickey Rourke knocks down Jericho. Flair and Rourke celebrate in the ring.
Commercial for National Guard.They have commercials on PPV?
Preview Video for Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy.
MATCH FOUR: EXTREME RULES
Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy
Why is it, that Jeff Hardy always looks like Vampiro these days?
Jeff slaps Matt, then attacks with fists. Jeff and Matt to the outside, Jeff grabs a WM poster, and hits Matt over the head with it. Jeff with a trashcan, but Matt blocks it. Jeff knocks Matt down with a fancy move. Jeff grabs a chair and heads in the ring. Jeff tries Poetry in Motion, but Matt gets out of the way. Jeff attempts Whisper in the Wind, but Matt uses the chair and nails Jeff in the knee, and gets a two-count. Matt now under the ring, and hits Jeff with a vaccum cleaner, and Matt gets another two-count. Jeff tries to fight back, but Matt hits the Side Effect on the chair, and gets a third three count. Matt with the upper hand. Matt bends Jeff’s body around the turnbuckle post, and Matt goes under the ring and grabs a Table. Matt sets it up on the outside, and sets up Jeff for a suplex. Jeff blocks it. Jeff jumps off the ring apron and hits Matt with a Clothesline. Jeff whips Matt into the steps. Jeff, now under the ring, and grabs a Cane and a Crutch. Jeff hits Matt with the cane. Jeff with a trashcan now, sits it on Matt’s head, and hits the can with the crutch, then kicks the can whilst it’s still on Matt’s head. Jeff gets a two-count. Jeff goes for the Swanton but Matt gets out of the way. Matt hits the Twist of Fate but only gets a two. Matt now heading to the top, but Jeff counters. Jeff hits a Superplex off the top. Jeff grabs a chair and connects with Matt’s head. Jeff now, lays Matt up on the table, and lays the chair on top of Matt. Jeff goes under the ring, and grabs another table, and sets it up on top of the first table. Jeff heading to the turnbuckle, jumps and hits a splash on top of the two tables and Matt Hardy. Jeff throws Matt back in the ring, goes for the cover, but only gets a Two!, as Matt gets his foot on the ropes. Jeff under the ring yet again, this time he grabs a Ladder, and puts it in the ring. Jeff sits a chair up, and springs up, off the chair, nailing Matt with a Leg Drop. Jeff now has Two Ladders, one bigger than the other. Jeff climbing up the lower ladder, jumps over the bigger ladder, but Matt Hardy avoids it. Matt Hardy up, and connects with the Twist of Fate on the set-up chair, and gets the three.
YOUR WINNER: MATT HARDY
During this match, I must say, my food and drink delivery came, so I will be munching and sucking down Pepsi Max for the remainder of the show.
Commercial for WWE Legends of WrestleMania.
Randy Orton prepares for his match tonight.
MATCH FIVE: INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
John ‘Bradshaw’ Layfield (c) vs Rey Mysterio
JBL on the mic, talking about his WM moment. Telling Texas how they have no Champion, and no men. Tells Texas they need hope, they need JBL. JBL bags out Texas, and says that he is Texas’ hero.
Rey looks like Doink the Clown. Either that, or Heath Ledger as the Joker.
Lilian with the champion inductions, when they are both in the ring. The ref going through the rules, but JBL with the Boot to Rey. JBL beats up Rey pre-match. The match begins. Rey with an Enziguri, the 619 and the Splash off the top, and the three.
YOUR WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: REY MYSTERIO
21 seconds. That’s how long it took Rey to get the victory. JBL is stunned in the ring. JBL on the mic once again.
“I Quit!” – JBL
The crowd wave good-bye to JBL, as he leaves the arena.
WrestleMania is sponsored by the National Guard, and Carl Edwards, fresh from the race at Texas, is in the crowd for WM.
Preview for Shawn Michaels/Undertaker
MATCH SIX: MR. WRESTLEMANIA VS THE STREAK
Shawn Michaels vs the Undertaker
We are less than two hours into the PPV, and this the third to last match. The last three are going to go a long time. Also, I wonder what Joe will think of this Real Time report. Considering, that he, will probably be thinking about reviewing WrestleMania after he finishes watching it with his girl?
Shawn Michaels’ entrance is awesome!! It looks like he’s coming down from Heaven. White light backdrop, fireworks, dressed in his white suit. Then, ‘Sexy Boy’ plays, and there he is in his attire. Better entrance than WMXII for HBK. Michaels is from Texas. Taker is from Texas. Hometown advantage goes to nobody. The gong hits and here comes ‘Taker. ‘Taker rises from underneath the stage, like he’s rising from Hell. ‘Taker’s entrance is good as well, but then again, it’s always awesome come this time of year.
The match begins. Both men attack. Taker goes for a punch, but HBK counters into a chop. Both men trying to get the one-up on the other. Michaels with punches in the corner. Michaels whips Taker off the ropes, goes for the right hand, but Taker blockes it, and throws HBK to the top rope. HBK jumps over Taker, feigns an injury, and pounces on Taker. Taker now, with body shots to HBK. Taker and HBK sharing exchanges in the corner. Taker whips HBk into the ropes, HBK does the flip in the corner, bounces back to get thrown by Taker. Taker with a slam and an elbow, and gets a two. Taker wrenching the arm, and delivers his shoulder into HBK. Taker going Old School on HBK! Taker goes for a boot in the corner, but HBK rolls out of the way. HBK starting to get the upper hand now. Michaels with a hard kick to Taker. HBk looking for the Sharpshooter, but Taker tries to block it. But HBK locks on the Figure-Four! Taker trying to fight out of it. HBK getting near falls. Taker fighting out of the move with right hands. Michaels with a dropkicks to the knees, knocking down Taker. Michaels off the ropes, but Taker catches him. Taker and HBK in the corner. Taker whips HBK across the ring, and catches him with a Clolthesline in the corner. Taker hits Snake Eyes, then connects with the boot to HBK. Leg Drop by Taker, then a pinfall … two count. Taker looking for the Chokeslam, but HBK counters with the Crossface!!!!! Taker tries to counter into a pin, but HBK kicks out, and still holds the Crossface in. Taker powers out and counters into a slam. Taker with a cover, and gets a two count. Taker and HBK sharing punches and chops. HBK with the upper hand, whips Taker, ut Taker counters with a whip of his own. HBK with the Springboard elbow. Inverted Atomic Drop, and a second one by HBK. HBK to the top rope, looking for the Macho Man elbow, but Taker is up. Michaels jumps, Taker grabs him and looks for the Chokeslam. HBK counters, looking for Sweet Chin Music, but Taker ducks. HBK grabs Taker’s leg, but Taker counters into the Devil’s Triangle! HBK manages to get to the ropes.
Both men now on the outside, Taker bounces HBK off the steps. HBK now hanging off the ring apron. Taker on the apron, with a Leg Drop, but HBK gets out of the way. HBK with a Baseball Slide on ‘Taker. HBK to the top rope, jumps off with a Moonsault, but Taker dodges and HBK lands hard on the outside. The ref is checking on HBK. Taker sits up in the ring. Taker off the ropes, looking for a springboard over the top rope, but HBK pulls the Cameraman in front on himself, and Taker connects with the cameraman. Everyone is down on the outside. HBK, Taker, the Cameraman and the referee. HBK now back in the ring, but he rolls back outside to check on the referee, and pulls the ref back in the ring, as another ring comes out and checks on Taker. The referee starts the ten-count on Taker, who is still on the outside. Taker trying to get to his feet, the ref gets to nine, before Taker crawls back in the ring. HBK is livid, as he tunes up the band. HBK goes but gets counters into a Chokeslam! Taker goes for the pin, but HBK kicks out at two!! Taker to his feet, sets HBK up for the Tombstone, but HBK counters, Taker counters Sweet Chin Music into a chokeslam, but HBK counters into Sweet Chin Music. HBK crawls for a cover, but Taker kicks out at two!! Both men down, HBK springs up. HBK goes to pick Taker up, but Taker grabs him by the throat. Taker goes for the Last Ride, but HBK counters into a sunset flip, but Taker counters into the Last Ride! Taker connects with the Last Ride! Taker goes for the cover, and HBK kicks out at two!! Taker heads to the top rope, goes for an elbow, but HBK rolls out of the way. Both men down once again as the ref starts his ten-count. Both men starting to get to their feet. HBK charges, Taker throws him over the top rope, but HBK skins the cat, Taker catches him on the way back up and connects with the Tombstone!!! Taker goes for the cover and …. HBK kicks out at two again!!
Taker drops the straps, picks HBK up, and goes for the Tombstone again, but HBK counters into a DDT. HBK crawling towards the turnbuckle, looking for the Macho Man elbow yet again, and this time he connects. HBK to his feet, and tunes up the band once again. HBK connects with Sweet Chin Music!! HBK with the cover and ….. Taker kicks out at two!! Both men down again, as the ref starts the ten-count. Both men helping each other up, sharing punches and chops with each other. Taker knocks HBK down with a Boot. Taker looks for the Tombstone again, but HBK counters with more chops. Taker whips HBK into the ropes, Taker charges but HBK counters with a kick, possibly Sweet Chin Music. HBK climbing to the top, looks for a Moonsault, but Taker grabs him and counters into the Tombstone!! Taker goes for the cover and … gets the three!!
YOUR WINNER: THE UNDERTAKER
Can anybody say Match of the Year?
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Evander Holyfield at ringside.
Preview for World Heavyweight Championship Edge vs Big Show vs John Cena
MATCH SEVEN: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AND FOR THE LOVE OF VICKIE GUERRERO
Edge (c) vs the Big Show vs John Cena
John Cena clones everywhere!! They come out ot his old music. I thought one was bad enough, but this is ridiculous. All the Cena clones make a guard of honour for the real John Cena, with his current music.
Lilian with the Champion announcing once again.
The matcn begins. Cena, straight after Edge. Cena knocks Edge down with a Bulldog, and as Cena goes after Show. Show shoulders Cena down. Show hangs Edge up on the ropes, wishboning Edge. Show now in the corner with Edge. Cena from behind, but Show catches him with a Boot. Show now dominating Cena. Vickie Guerrero in a wheelchair at ringside, with Chavo. Cena trying to fight back against Show, but Show uses his power and throws Cena. Show with a boot, Cena counters, and throws Show over the top. Edge from behind, dropkicking the steps into Show’s legs, then Cena over the top rope onto Show. Edge now, with the upper hand, throws Cena into the ring. Cena going for his finisher, but Edge counters with a DDT, goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at 2. Cena knocks Edge out, but Show back in the ring, hits a Slam on cena, and gets a two count. Cena throwing body shots to Show. Cena bounces off the rope, but Chavo grabs Cena and pulls him under the ring. Cena counters and gives Chavo the Attitude Adjustment. Cena back in the ring, and Show is tangled up in the ropes. Cena now after Edge, cena with some moves, and connects with the 5-Kunckle shuffle. Vickie on the apron, gets Cena’s attention, Edge goes for the Spear, but Cena moves and Edge spears Vickie. Vickie lands on Chavo, Cena with a roll-up, but Edge kicks out at 2.
Show now untangled, and attacking both Edge and Cena. Show whips Cena into Edge in the corner, and splashes both. Show going for a chokeslam on both, Cena gets out, but Edge gets the Chokeslam. Cena going for the Attitude Adjustment, but Show counters with a right-hand, knocking Cena out. Show glances at the Spanish Announce Table, but Edge taks down Show to the outside. Edge moves the steps, and with a running start, jumps off the steps, and nails Show, knocking both men through the restraining wall. Edge now, tries to move Show, he can’t, so he focuses his attention to Cena. Throws Cena in the ring, goes for a cover and gets a 2! Edge now, looking for the spear. Edge charges, but Cena counters into the STF! Edge gets close to the ropes, but Cena pulls him back. Just as Edge is about totap, Show grabs Edge’s hand and pulls Edge to the ropes, to break up the submission. Show throws Cena to the outside, then heads to the second rope. Show going for a splash, but Edge rolls out of the way and Show crashes and burns. Cena going for a suplex on Show, he cant help him, but Edge helps and they both suplex Show. Now Edge and Cena, team up and they both Clothesline Show over the top rope. Edge then goes for a roll-up and gets a two on Cena. Edge goes for a move, but Cena counters into a BlockBuster. Cena up the top, Show from behind, pushes Cena and Edge hits Cena with the Spear! Edge goes for the cover, but Show pulls Edge off the pin. Edge now with a Sleeper hold on Show. Cena picks both men on his shoulders. Edge jumps off, but cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Show. Edge comes at Cena, but Cena gives Edge the Attitude Adjustment. Cena with the pin in Show, and the three.
YOUR WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: JOHN CENA!
Cena heads into the crowd to celebrate with the fans.
Ad for Wrestlemania XXVI, March 28, in Phoenix, AZ
Legends of Wrestlemania sponsors WMXXV
HALL OF FAME INDUCTEES INTRODUCED
Terry and Dory Funk Jr., ‘Cowboy’ Bill Watts, Howard Finkel, ‘the Birdman’ Koko B. Ware, the Von Erich family (represented by Kevin Von Erich), Ricky ‘the Dragon’ Steamboat, ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin.
Austin’s music hits, and he comes out again, this time on a 4X4, doing laps around the ring, the drives up the entrance way, only to reverse it back to the ring. Austin salutes the crowd with Beer showers in each corner. Austin then heads down to the announce area, and shouts J.R. a beer. Austin wear J.R.’s hat, and they both chug beers. Austin celebrates in the ring, farewells the fans, and drives off up the entrance. Only to salute the fans on the top of the ramp, and then drives off.
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ATTENDANCE: 72,744
Offical theme song : ‘War Machine’ by AC/DC
Preview for WWE Championship. Triple H vs Randy Orton
Triple H heads to the ring, as he runs into Vince and Shane McMahon. They look at each other, then Triple H passes.
MATCH EIGHT: MAIN EVENT: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP AND FOR THE MCMAHONS REVENGE
If Triple H gets counted out, or gets DQ’ed, then Triple H loses the Title.
Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton
Triple H’s entrance involves him smashing a mirror with a Sledgehammer. Again, another great entrance.
Lilian with the Champion-style announcing for one last time.
Cheers for Orton can be heard, as the match begins. Trips and Orton with a staredown. They go to lock-up, but Trips catches Orton with a tackle. Triple H with punches to Orton on one corner, and kicks in another corner. As the ref tells Triple H that he will DQ him, Orton hits the RKO on Triple H. Orton gets ready to kick H with the boot, but Trips moves out of the way, and connects with the Pedigree on Orton. Both men down, and roll to the outside. Trips catches Orton with a running elbow. Trips pours some water over hsi head as Orton heads to the ring. Tripls now with punches to Orton in the ring, they both head out, but Orton tries to get the upper hand. Orton tries to whip Trips into the ring post, but Trips counters and whips Orton into the post. Both men in the ring, Orton wants Trips to ‘wait’ but trips doesnt abide and continues the attack on Orton. Knees to the head of Orton, then a right hand. Trips off the ropes with another running elbow to Orton. Trips hits Orton again, and Orton heads outside. Trips follows and goes on the attack, but Orton counters and whips Triple H into the ring steps. Orton now, whip another whip, this time, sending Trips over the barricade and into the crowd. Orton staring at HHH, until he rolls back into the ring, and lets the ref start the ten count on HHH. Trips gets back into the ring at 7, and Orton continues the assault. Orton with kick after kick to trips, then kicks Triple H low. Orton then, drives a knee into the head of HHH. Orton with a kick, and the cover, but HHH kicks out at 2. Orton now in the mount position laying right hands into HHH. Orton to a kick to the underarm of HHH, then connects with a Sleeper Hold, but HHH counters into a back drop. Both men back up, and Orton connects with a slam. Orton with the cover, and trips kicks out at 2. It’s Randy Orton and the Chinlock of Doom! time, as HHH tries to fight out of it. HHH to his feet, breaks it up, but Orton fights back with punches in the corner. Now Randy and Trips sharing punches, with Trips getting the upper hand. Orton with the whip to the ropes, H counters and hits a knee. Trips connects with the Face Buster, goes for the Pedigree, but Orton counters and catapults H into the turnbuckle. Trips comes back, counters and gets a two count.
H now places Orton on the top rope. Orton tries to fight back, and drops HHH head first on the top turnbuckle. Trips down, Orton on the second rope, he jumps but HHH gets his foot up. H atacks, Orton counters, gets a 2 count. Orton goes for the RKO but H counters, H with a Roll-up and another 2. HHH connects the Spinebuster. H goes for the Pedigree again, but orton counters. Connects with the Inverted BackBreaker and gets a 2 count. Orton attacks, H counters with an elbow. H off the rope, but Orton counters with a Dropkick. Orton now up, stalking Triple H. Orton setting up for the punt, but HHH grabs the leg. Orton tries to fight out, but HHH, flips Orton over the ropes and onto the floor. H and Orton now brawling on the outside, H bangs Orton’s head off the Spanish Table. H with a monitor, wanting to hit Orton with it, but the ref tells him he will DQ him, so he doesnt do it. H throws Orton on the Spanish table. Sets Orton up for the Pedigree, but Orton counters, and flips HHH over his head, and onto the other table. Orton looking to attack HHH, and hooks him up for a DDT. Orton DDT’s HHH off the table and onto the floor. Orton then crawls into the ring, and the ref starts to count Triple H out. The ref gets to 9, before Triple H can make his way back in. Orton now stomping HHH, several times. Orton goes to pick HHH up, sits him in the corner, and continues to lay punch after punch. Now Orton, this time with kicks in the corner and a choke. HHH trying to sit up, and fires back with right hands, but Orton counters, and throws HHH into the referee, knocking the referee down, then hitting the RKO on Triple H. Orton rolls under the ring, and grabs a Sledgehammer. Orton tries to enter the ring, but Triple H connects with a Punt, knocking Orton down, and giving Triple H access to the Sledgehammer. Triple H nails Randy Orton with the Sledgehammer. HHH then throws the Sledgehammer out of the ring, then starts attacking Orton with right hands. HHH then picks Randy Orton up and hits the Pedigree! Trips goes for the cover and gets the three.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: TRIPLE H
Triple H celebrates in the ring, the fireworks go off, and the recap of Wrestlemania 25 begins.
As the Wrestlemania recap video plays, I will say thank you to all those involved at BoredWrestlingFan.com, to not only give me the chance to post a weekly column (which btw, can be seen, each and every Wednesday), but to allow me the chance to present, to you, Wrestlemania 25 LIVE! This has been Wrestlemania 25, LIVE in real-time. I have been the one they call “Legend Killer’, stay tuned for various WrestleMania review shows throughout the week, and for my next column on Wednesday.
It seems that the folks at BoredWrestlingFan.com, liked my first column, and have allowed me back for a second week, and with this being Wrestlemania 25 week, I’m here to talk about the WWE’s biggest PPV of the year! Or not.
For you see, in a little over two weeks from now, Total Nonstop Action have a PPV entitled ‘Lockdown’, in which every match takes place, inside of the ‘Six Sides of Steel’. The main event of this event pits the TNA World Champion ‘the Icon’ Sting, against the man of many personas, ‘the Hardcore Legend’ Mick Foley. Two of the oldest, rundown names in TNA go one-on-one for the gold, in a company that is apparently pushing the ‘younger’ talent up the ranks.
Also announced for this PPV, is the New Japan Tag Team Champions, Team 3D, against the TNA Tag Team Champions, Beer Money Inc., in which both sets of titles will be on the line. The event is in Philadelphia, Team3D’s second home you could say, since ECW was based in Philly, so the likeliness of having new TNA Tag Champs, is very likely. However, like I said last week, if your pushing the young guys, have Beer Money win. Even in their little ‘Roughcuts’ interview segment with Brother Ray, he said that he’s there to help the young guys, and put them over. I’m the biggest Beer Money fan I know. I wear my James Storm ‘Sorry About Your Damn Luck’ T-Shirt with pride. If Team 3D win, then TNA inches another step closer to becoming WCW.
Then of course, there’s Lethal Lockdown, where teams of 4 or 5, depending on the year, battle each other to determine which is the better team. The team captains for the match, Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe, which were decided in a 20-man Gauntlet inside the steel, will pick their partners to face the other team. Now Kurt has already gone on record, in picking his team, fellow Main Event Mafia members Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash. Samoa Jow on the other hand, doesnt want to be Captain. He just wants to match Jeff Hardy for ridiculous face paint, and carry a blade around with him, to make him look tough. Expect Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles and Eric Young to be Joe’s partners.
Onto a topic, of a non-wrestling related manner, Jenson Button, driving for Brawn GP, led a 1-2 for his team in the first race of the Formula One season, after Sebastien Vettel, driving for RedBull Racing, and Robert Kubica, driving for BMW-Sauber, collided with each other with three laps to go, whilst sitting second and third respectively. After the 1-2 finish in Melbourne, Australia, Brawn GP decided to sack 270 of its workers. What a way to celebrate,you helped win us the race, now we dont need you. Also, the Brawn GP cars are sponsored by Richard Branson run, Virgin. Does that now mean, that because one of the cars sponsored by Virgin, won the race, will be false advertising for the rest of the year, because it won its first race? I thought you weren’t a Virgin after your first?
Awesome Kong is NOT a match with Al Bundy.
Did You Know? Phillip Seymour Hoffman, is Kurt Angle’s second cousin.
Enjoy the rest of Wrestlemania week! (This coming from the one person, who didnt talk about Wrestlemania in his column.)
Welcome to WrestleMania week here on BoredWrestlingFan.com! We’re working overtime this week to bring you WrestleMania related articles throughout the week, and this one is just the first. I want to take the opportunity to talk about the way that I would have booked WrestleMania, starting from the Royal Rumble. Some things would have still played out the way that they have, but other things would have been much different.
Well, here’s something I haven’t really done before. I promised you guys a SmackDown review this weekend, and since I haven’t had the time to fire up the DVR and watch the show, I’m firing up YouTube in my laptop browser at work and reviewing it this way. The YouTube videos of SmackDown generally cut out a lot of unnecessary crap, such as RAW Rebounds and 12 Rounds promotion, so this is pretty much pure, unadulterated SmackDown right here folks.
It’s time for the second Friday The Thirteenth episode of SmackDown this year – with one more to go, being mine and JT’s birthday in November! I have no idea what’s booked for tonight, so we’ll find out as we go along!
Welcome once again to the latest edition of JT’s Random Randomness. This week is kinda special (I think) because it’s an all wrestling edition. So withoug further ado here we go: (more…)
