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SmackDown! (01/28/11): Whodunnit

January 29, 2011 10:29 am 3 Comments

Can Edge even the odds before his title defense against Dolph Ziggler on Sunday? Why was Michael Tarver skulking around backstage (and again on RAW)? And, most importantly, who was responsible for the attack on Teddy Long?

Vickie kicks off the show tonight, informing us that Teddy Long will not be here. Therefore, she is the acting General Manager. There’s a motive right there for attacking Teddy Long – with him out of the picture, Vickie has complete authority and the ability to potentially screw Edge over at the Rumble and cost him his title. Vickie is soon interrupted by Randy Orton who, we are told, is on the blue brand to participate in a tag match in tonight’s main event. Randy makes some promises about his tag match against Vickie’s boyfriend, and also vows to take back his WWE championship from The Miz this Sunday. Then he insults Vickie’s hair. Okay… ‘creepy, intimidating Orton’ is always great; ‘personal insults Orton’? Not so much. Dolph comes out to the rescue. He demands Randy shows Vickie and himself respect. Seriously, Ziggler has come on leaps and bounds on the mic. Dude has ‘it’. Not that ‘it’ helps him in this scenario, because he’s soon eating canvas as Orton strikes with an RKO.

LayCool vs. Kelly Kelly/Kaitlyn: It’s incredibly lame, but I love it when Striker sings along to LayCool’s entrance music. The No. 1 contenders for the Divas title are taken out on the ramp by Kelly and Kaitlyn – wait, Kaitlyn has a match?! I swear I can hear some members of the crowd booing this sneak attack on LayCool. This match lasts about a minute – that’s not me being hyperbolic; it seriously lasts around 60 seconds. Layla distracts Kaitlyn, and Michelle McCool takes advantage with a big boot. And people say the Divas don’t get enough screen time! Your winners: LayCool

Drew McIntyre vs. JTG: Kelly Kelly has remained at ringside for this bout; Michael Cole rightly calls her a hypocrite for attacking LayCool earlier on, despite going flippin’ mental (my words, not Cole’s) at Drew for essentially the same thing last week with Trent Baretta. Right on, Cole! This match goes on a little longer than it should, I reckon. As is typical of Drew’s matches lately, JTG is resilient and even manages a few offensive flurries (I need to stop saying that phrase; seem to use it every week) but, in the end, McIntyre prevails. I like this finish – JTG goes for a backslide, which Drew rolls through and delivers a devastating Futureshock DDT. These matches against lesser opponents have been noticeably longer than they would have been, say, 6 months ago. Is this deliberate on WWE’s part to give the impression that Drew is working hard, in order to give the fans a reason to respect or get behind him? He’s as vicious as ever, but he seems to appreciate getting pinfalls lately. This is gonna be a slow-burning face turn, for sure. Credit to Kelly Kelly – she’s performing her role in this storyline very well. I totally didn’t mean that to sound so patronising… Your winner: Drew McIntyre

Todd ‘Don’t Look Him In The Eyes’ Grisham is backstage with Dashing Cody Rhodes, who has his back to the camera. Last week, Rey’s 619 – complete with an exposed knee brace – broke Cody’s nose. Cody keeps his back to the camera as he delivers his promo; a whining affair about deviated septums and extensive reconstruction surgeries. Basically, it’s great. Rhodes sounds on the verge of tears as he informs Todd that doctors have told him he is not to compete in the Royal Rumble match. Jeez, Rey. What a jerk. This is the best promo I’ve ever seen from Cody. Good job, Not-So-Dashing One!

We cut to Jack Korpela (Jack Korpela?! We want Scott Stanford, damn it!) who is with Edge. Edge talks about his tag match tonight, where he will reunite with his former Rated RKO partner. After he’s said his piece, we see Alberto Del Rio walking backstage. He bumps into Michael Tarver and introduces himself. Tarver smiles and walks away. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TARVER?! I’m dying to know, but I want them to drag this out for as long as possible. Providing the outcome is exciting, of course.

Alberto Del Rio’s Royal Rumble Exhibition: Del Rio announces that backstage there are 39 fighters from around the globe who are ready to fight him. He’ll start with one, and another will enter every 30 seconds. First up is Seth Allen. WOO! SETH ALLEN! Seth Allen has a sweet beard. Unfortunately, his in-ring prowess isn’t quite as sweet – he lasts about 25 seconds before Del Rio throws him over the ropes. Next up is Mike Stevens, whose beard is even sweeter than Seth Allen’s. These guys look like default create-a-wrestlers in the SmackDown! vs. RAW games, it’s amazing. The clock ticks down for the 3^rd competitor… and flames erupt. Uh-oh. Here comes Kane. Damn it, I was genuinely looking forward to 37 more jobbers with generic names! What about Zac Stone? Rick Daniels? Chuck Awesomesauce? (Actually, Chuck Awesomesauce is a real wrestler. I kid you not. He is my hero, purely for having that name.) Kane grabs Del Rio by the throat and goes to push him over the ropes, but for some bizarre reason, Kofi Kingston appears. He grabs Kane’s legs and pushes both men over the ropes. Umm. Okay. Del Rio and Kane slowly get back in the ring to seek revenge. I was hoping the 39 jobbers would run to the rescue (they could start a new megafaction) but, unfortunately, Rey Mysterio appears instead. The goodies stare down the baddies, and Vickie Guerrero comes out to announce they will compete in a tag match… right now!

Alberto Del Rio/Kane vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio: Most of this match is standard, nondescript fare, so let’s skip to the end. Alberto’s mad at Kane, because Kane wasn’t there to be tagged in. Uhh, he was kinda busy lying on the floor after Kofi knocked him off, jerk. Kane doesn’t like being pushed around, so he hits Del Rio with a big boot and takes off. Mysterio hits a 619 (watch you don’t break his nose, Rey! Yeah, I said it! Jerk.) and Kofi follows it up with a Trouble In Paradise. Striker reiterates what he said earlier about his belief that a ‘new face’ will win the Royal Rumble this Sunday. Nice sentiment, but it’s never gonna be Kofi Kingston. Your winners: Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio

Big Show vs. Heath Slater: Big Show’s in the ring to talk about the emergence of Corre and their attack on the giant 2 weeks ago. Needless to say, he’s pretty angry. The Corre soon appear, replete with terrible t-shirts. Heath Slater slides into the ring, and I guess this is a match-up! Every time Big Show runs the ropes, I wince, expecting them to snap and send him tumbling to the floor. Show soon plants Slater with a Chokeslam, and it’s all over. The other Corre members enter the ring. Show swats Barrett and Gabriel away, but Jackson takes him down with a clothesline. A bunch of good guys run from the back to chase off The Corre. Your winner: Big Show

The Miz/Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge/Randy Orton: Midway through this match, Ziggler hits Edge with an X-Factor facebuster. Is Ziggler working his way through DX members’ finishers? Actually, I joke, but I’m pretty sure he’s used a superkick a few times in the past! This match reaches fever pitch as Dolph fails to connect with the Zigzag. Edge hits the Spear, and it’s all over. Or not, because Vickie Guerrero grabs a microphone and starts shrieking. She announces that, until further notice, the Spear is illegal. Wow, this is very reminiscent of Vickie protecting Edge by banning Undertaker’s gogoplata submission hold, eh? How time flies. Vickie announces that if Edge hits Dolph Ziggler with a Spear at the Royal Rumble, not only will he be DQ’d… he will lose his World Championship! Edge snaps, and hits Ziggler with a trifecta of, yes, Spears. Better get it out of your system tonight, buddy.

——————————————————

I started out this report focusing on the Teddy Long mystery, but not a lot was said about all that… Oh well. Seeing as we’re oh so very close to the Rumble, here’s my take on what will (but probably won’t) happen.

Rich Flynn’s Royal Rumble Predictions (Which Probably Won’t Happen)!:

Beth Phoenix made history last year by being only the second female entrant in Rumble history – and the first to eliminate a Superstar. There’s a good chance she could appear again.

And what about Awesome Kong? I have a strong feeling she will make an appearance – either during the Diva’s title match or the Rumble itself. It’s a long shot, but what better a way to debut a monster Diva?

Drew McIntyre will have an impressive Rumble. He’ll make a very deep run, and I’m putting him in the final four.

I fully expect Triple H to return during the Rumble. Admittedly, I haven’t heard what his recent plans are regarding his in-ring career, but giving Sheamus the King of the Ring is too perfect a set-up for a ‘Mania match between the two. Sheamus will dominate early on, but Triple H will appear and throw himself at Sheamus. Both men will be eliminated, but all Triple H will care about is destroying Sheamus on the outside.

When a friend pushed me for a Rumble winner prediction, I could only make one cautious choice – John Morrison, but with the caveat that his ‘Mania match would be at least a Triple Threat affair so the WWE don’t have to rely on his star power to sell the match. My friend, however, picked CM Punk, and it is a very good choice. I could see the following happen: Punk wins the Rumble. Miz retains against Orton. At the Elimination Chamber, Morrison eliminates Miz early on, resulting in a guaranteed new champion. John Cena wins the belt, which sets up a WWE championship match against Punk at WrestleMania. This also establishes a nice little grudge match between Morrison and Miz, either midcard or between the two big title bouts. One of the headline matches is going to have to be a biggy and, with SmackDown!’s lack of headline Superstars, I think we’ll be seeing it on RAW’s side. So, long story short, I’m going with CM Punk (but secretly I’m rooting for a big surprise such as Morrison).

Either way, this year’s winner needs to be a ‘new face,’ as Striker said. With their youth movement and the dire need to create new stars, the WWE needs to use the Rumble as a tool for pushing someone who has never before won. The increase to 40 men has given the Royal Rumble a shot in the arm, so hopefully this excitement will result in an equally thrilling result – not another victory for Randy Orton, John Cena or the like.

And, most importantly of all, the Soaring Eagle will be an entrant. Mark my words, kids.

See you next week!

Random Randomness

January 28, 2011 10:19 pm 2 Comments

Well it’s Friday night and my cable is out and since it hasn’t stopped snowing since the end of November here and since I have an extremely busy day tomorrow, I figured I’d give you this weeks article so here it is:

(more…)

RAW 10.4.10

October 4, 2010 11:15 pm 2 Comments

Last night was Hell in a Cell! Did John Cena join Nexus? Is Randy Orton still the WWE Champion? Was Daniel Bryan brutally mu-… I’ll leave that one to myself. Find out tonight, as Jackass star, Johnny Knoxville guest stars what is sure to be another amazing Monday Night RAW!

Nexus comes out and talks about their victory at Hell in a Cell. Barrett says the two men who helped were Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty, which didn’t surprise anyone. Barrett says he doesn’t know them and they aren’t a part of the Nexus. Barrett then scolds Nexus for going down to the ring and potentially causing him his match. Tonight’s about inducting Cena into Nexus. Please welcome, the newest member of Nexus, John Cena.

He comes out with no music, which is just heartbreaking, to be honest. I’m upset. I wanted to make a joke.

Tarver says the joke is on Cena, because he failed. They have a gift for Cena: The Nexus armband. Cena looks at the arm band and puts it on. Slater says they know the transition’s going to be difficult, but they’re all there for him. The public wants to know exactly what his thoughts are. He says that he will read the official statement they made instead of saying what he wants to. Barrett says it’s not negotiable, and he’ll read it and read it now.

It essentially says that he acknowledges that he’s a member of Nexus, and an enemy of Nexus is an enemy of his. Barrett says that Cena has to participate in a tag match with a partner of his choice against Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. Cena picks Tarver.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne vs. John Cena and Michael Tarver

Cena starts off the match with an offer to shake Bourne’s hand, and they do. Tarver’s pissed about it, but Cena doesn’t look like he cares. Cena then tags in Tarver and climbs out.

@KeepItFiveStar HEY! Where’s your Nexus Shirt Cena?! There’s a dress code damn it! Put it on!

@seraphalexiel I hope both men don’t suddenly get to join. The end of Season 2 was a failure for a reason, and it begins and ends with McGuillicutty

@Niki_Sushi Awwww. His own wittle armband. Are they slowly going to give him different parts to the ‘uniform’ or what? #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Geez, Cena sure likes to pick on the black Nexus guys. Wasn’t content with getting rid of your brother, now he’s going for Tarver. LOL #wwe

@CawCawBang Cena got something planned I don’t like it

@TKeep123 I wonder if Cena gave any secret signals while he was forced to read his (confession) speech. (Viet Nam era folks will get it.) #WWE #RAW

We come back to Tarver getting his ass handed to him by Henry. Cena really doesn’t seem interested in helping Tarver at all, to be honest, even mockingly reaching for a tag. Tarver manages to get toward Cena for a tag, but Cena leans away, and Henry seems amused by it, toying with Tarver. Tarver goes to tag Cena again, but Cena jumps down off the ring and begins signing signs in the crowd. Henry picks up Tarver and hits him with the World’s Strongest Slam.

Mark Henry and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

Cena takes a mic after the match and says that he’s gonna make his own statement. As the newest member of Nexus, he plans on doing one thing and one thing only: destroying it from within. Like no one expected that. Tonight, he proves that you can be Nexus and against us. He hits Tarver in the head with the mic, and then body slams Tarver onto the steel steps. Twice. Then he gets Tarver back in the ring and locks in the STF.

“The terms of the stipulation for your match with Wade Barrett stated that if you lost, you must join the Nexus. Now, Nexus is clearly a group that takes direction from its leader, Wade Barrett. And thus as a member of the group, John, you must also take direction from Wade Barrett. If you don’t, as much as I would hate to do it, as much as it would be bad for business, as much as the WWE Universe would despise it, I would have no alternative but to terminate your WWE contract. Mr. Cena, no one man, despite his popularity, is bigger than WWE. In other words, Mr. Cena, I will fire you.”

@FrankWWEClown And who says Cena is boring, and not interesting? Are you watching this?! #WWE #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Cena’s looking at this all wrong. The Nexus have a great benefits package. Family picnics, BBQs, and other fun Nexus activities.

@HitTheRopes We CLEARLY see Michael Cole reading from a paper and NOT the computer screen. #fail #wwe

@TKeep123 For months we can’t keep #NEXUS away from the ring, and now Tarver gets a beat-down and NO NEXUS to be found? #WWE #RAW

@Niki_Sushi Tarver is in Soul Sucking Position! YOU BETTA HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE! #BWF #RAW

@WWEsAngel_Nef Okay. Say what you want marks but John Cena has the best fans. So devoted. I actually love that they chanted ‘Never Give Up’ #WWE

Alicia Fox vs Natalya

No warning on this one at all, but good to see Natalya in the ring. Natalya hits the sharpshooter pretty quick, and Alicia taps. Great 30 second match.

Natalya wins via submission.

WTF? 30 second match, 30 second reminder of the guest star, Johnny Knoxville, and now five minutes of commercials.

@RingsideRants That wasn’t even long enough for a bathroom break!

@CawCawBang wow that was quick

@kickoutblog My thoughts on Natalya vs. Alicia are longer than the actual match

@redsandman99 The good news is, Nattie won. The bad news is, the match was over in five seconds

@JoeyStyles What a match for Nattie…and I thought I finished fast.

Knoxville is talking with Gail and Melina, promoting Jackass 3D. Zack Ryder comes up, and Knox calls him a tool. He offers Ryder a high-five, only for him to get the shit smacked out of him by a giant hand. Knox mocks him a little.

Cena’s backstage with the Nexus armband again, and Josh Matthews comes up, asking what he’s gonna do. Cena says he doesn’t know. Cena suddenly takes off running after Husky and McGuillicutty, and Barrett says that there’s a lot he needs to talk about, concerning his future.

@TKeep123 FIRST time I was ever happy to see Zack Ryder during a Promo! “You know it!”…. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi Johnny Knoxville just wtfpwn’d Zack Ryder without even getting in the ring. I DEMAND WEE-MAN VS HORNSWOGGLE DAMMIT!!!! #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 damn zach ryder got his ass kicked and he aint even in a match #wwe #bwf #raw

Daniel Bryan is in the ring with his crazy ass music. God, I wanna punch him.

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head! … Too many limes, too many limes!

United States Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Sheamus beat the shit out of Bryan. Not even kidding.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via disqualification.

I think. Sheamus hits the High Cross on Daniel after beating the hell out of him. Sheamus climbs out of the ring and starts back up the ring. Dear, God. Was RAW booking only Nexus and Cena tonight? This is ridiculous.

Anyway, Edge makes his way to the ring to supposedly apologize to the computer.

@Niki_Sushi Oh. Damn. Forgot this fruit existed. Daniel Bryan, go awa-nevermind. GO SHEAMUS GO! #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Oh God, it’s the battle of wrestlers who don’t tan!

@KeepItFiveStar Did Daniel Bryan fail a Wellness test or something? Did he piss the Vegan police off? That was weird.

@Niki_Sushi OMFG! Who put a wrestling match in my commercials?! #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “And THAT’s for fulfilling your indy dates while under contract!” – Sheamus after destroying Daniel Bryan

@TKeep123 Diva match… 90 seconds. Sheamus / Bryan 120 seconds… WTH? #WWE #RAW

And a Video Package of what we just saw, like fifteen seconds ago. Jesus Christ, RAW. I get that Cena joining Nexus is a big deal, but there are other Superstars…

Oh, God, Michael Cole’s in the ring. He’s now going to speak for the General Manager. I guess Stephen Hawking got pissed at the WWE for using his voice. Supposedly, it’s because of the events of the last few weeks, and will now communicate via email. So, the GM hates us all, is what I’m getting.

Awesome.

Before Edge comes out, the GM wants us to see the hilarious, I’m sorry, horrific events of last week.

The destruction of the GM last week was unacceptable. Two things are going to happen: Edge is “going to apologize”, and the GM will make a huge announcement regarding the WWE Championship.

You think you know me…

Edge, of course, says he won’t apologize. He’s on a personal crusade against all things stupid, and around here, there are a lot of things that are stupid. Michael Cole has been the personification of stupid since 1997. He’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole. And if the GM thinks he has attitude, then when Edge becomes WWE Champion, then he’ll see attitude. The GM says that tonight they will decide the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship in a 20-Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royale. Don’t expect me to keep up with that. The winner will face Randy Orton at Bragging Rights. Edge, however, has disrespected the GM one too many times, and won’t be in the battle royal tonight, because the GM has officially traded him to Smackdown.

Edge says it’s the greatest night of his career, because he now doesn’t have to listen to a computer, or this tool say, “And I Quote.” Cole flips out, and everyone boos him. Yeah, good job Cole. Cole says that now that he’s the official voice of the WWE, Edge needs to treat him with respect. Edge asks if he went off RAW after spearing Cole into next week would be respectful.

AWESOME

The Miz and Alex Riley make their way down to the ring. Miz says that Edge will do no such thing. Cole is a visionary, the one person that realized Miz’ awesomeness before anyone else. Cole leaves the ring, tripping. Miz tells him to go back to the announce table. Edge calls Miz an Edge-wannabe. Edge then goes through the checklist of Edge. Miz says that that was an interesting analysis, but they’re nothing alike. Edge says that he’s right, because Edge has been WWE Champion, and has been married, divorced, had a live celebration. He hasn’t even seen Miz talk to a woman, unless you count Alex Riley. Riley says that whether Edge likes it or not, Miz is the future of the WWE. Edge says that Miz is awesome at tapping out to Daniel Bryan.

Miz says that if Edge is trying to agitate Miz, it’s not working. Miz is either going to be competing in a WWE Championship match, or leading RAW into decimating Smackdown. So, why doesn’t Edge go to SyFy and tell all his new Smackdown buddies that he’s the Miz and he’s awesome.

Edge then attacks Miz and Alex Riley, Spearing Alex Riley, only to get a Skull Crushing Finale from Miz.

Cena backstage with Nexus, and Barrett says that Cena did him a favor in attacking Tarver. He wants Cena to help him with tonight’s battle royal. Cena asks what happens if he wins, and Barrett says that he’s ordering Cena to help him win. Otunga sticks his foot in his mouth and gets berated for it, and then tells Cena to either do as he’s told or get fired.

@TKeep123 Michael Cole has to stand on a box to be seen? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@seraphalexiel Fool. Hide yo paper, at least.

@TKeep123 “I’d rather listen to a recording of JR than a live Michael Cole!” – Edge #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi That’s….. three or four laptops now? I seriously hope that’s included in the budget… I don’t think Nextel makes laptops. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Hey Otunga, know your role and shut your mouth. #wwe

@bethsharae I love Edge’s crusade. I shall join him. I now destroy all things stupid. #Raw #WWE

Oh, fuck me running… It’s the Bellas.

Nikki and Brie Bella vs. The Unified Divas Champions LayCool

Jesus Christ, someone put a mic on LayCool. My head hurts bad enough right now… I have no idea what the fuck is going on, okay? I don’t even care anymore. Oh, and there goes the Switcheroo again. Someone kill me. Seriously.

Nikki and Brie Bella win via the same old shit… er, pinfall.

Maryse is backstage, talking to Knox. He says that he doesn’t speak Spanish, and she accuses him of sending the messages. Ted then walks up and accuses him too, and Ted walks right into the huge hand. Maryse throws her shoes at Knox, and then Maryse is hit by the hand and lands right on top of Ted. Knox is apologizing repeatedly, and then runs away from a very pissed looking Ted.

@StrikerSays Are you serious. You just put the BELLAS over your champion. What is this fuckery.

@KeepItFiveStar This match is already longer than Natalya vs Alicia Fox

@ThingsColeSays They have found a way to make LayCool ever more annoying. Well done.

@inkincisions WHAT IS UP WITH DIVAS AND THROWING SHOES ?!?!?!?!?!

@divadirt LMAO! Maryse continues the shoe-throwing trend only to get hit by a giant hand. There’s a very un-PG joke in there somewhere. #WWE

@legendkiller515 that big ass hand is funny #wwe #raw #bwf

Please welcome the guest star of RAW, Johnny Knoxville. Oh, Jackass 3D is in theaters October 15^th. Yes, let’s put Knoxville in the ring. Because that went so well last time.

Knoxville’s talking really fast, is obviously freaked out by DiBiase coming after him, and tries to leave before he does. Too bad, because he’s here…

Knox says that he was just trying to make Maryse laugh, like Ted does… And proceeds to make a fool out of himself. Then smacks the taste out of Knox’s mouth. Then, it looks like he’s trying for Dreamstreet, but Knox just lays there like a limp noodle. Another message comes over the tron: You are mine. Goldust attacks DiBiase, and Maryse just stands there.

Goldust then tells DiBiase he doesn’t want him, obviously, and walks over to Maryse, who seems to be trying hard not to laugh. He does, however, say that he doesn’t want Maryse. What he wants, is the Million Dollar Belt. Only Goldust would send love notes to a belt. Seriously.

Next up: The 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal.

Here are all the guys I think I saw. I’ll fix it as I can:

John Cena, Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz, William Regal, David Otunga, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Zack Ryder. That’s all I managed to catch, but I’ll do the best I can.

@HitTheRopes It’s amazing how great Raw started and where we are now. #wwe

@kickoutblog OMG IT IS GOLDUST! HE WANTS THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE!

@ThingsColeSays Hey Johnny, there’s a new joke going around have you heard it? What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAPPPPPPPPPP!

@StrikerSays So happy for the return of BIZARRE Goldie. He had dialed down to just “odd.”

King and Cole remind us that a shitload of stuff has happened… if you’ve been watching, you know. If not, scroll up. I’m tired of repeating the same shit.

And Cena’s backstage, brooding over the arm band. Otunga walks up and says that he knows he’s upset. He wants to tell Cena that Nexus isn’t all bad. Barrett is a bit demanding sometimes, but deep down, they can make it work. Cena may feel like this is the end, but it’s not. If Cena ever needs to talk, Otunga’s there for him. Just let him know.

Cole opens his mouth and reminds us of what we’ve already seen. It’s okay, Cole. I have the memory of a goldfish. Thanks a bunch, man.

Twenty Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal

Fuck keeping up with this, so here’s who in the damn match. I’ll just tell you who wins, because it’s easier.

Participants: John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Sheamus, John Cena, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, David Otunga, Zack Ryder, William Regal, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, The Miz, Ted DiBiase, David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd, Darren Young, and Primo.

@KeepItFiveStar CENA! WHERE’S YOUR SHIRT! You had time!

@bethsharae …. Truth doesn’t get to sing anymore?! HELL YES!!! #Raw #WWE

@HitTheRopes Otunga, don’t you pay attention!? Darren Young, Michael Tarver. What do they AND you have in common? Stay far from Cena. LOLZ #wwe

@legendkiller515 once again no one understands what the hell r-truth is saying in his damn songs #wwe #raw #bwf

Found all the damn contestants. I don’t know what’s going on… Don’t make me figure it all out. Cena eliminated Otunga, and now Barrett yells at him for it. Nexus just argues in the middle of the ring, and no one is aware of it, apparently. God, idiocy.

@KeepItFiveStar Why is Mark Henry asking why? Did he not see the first 10 minutes of the show?

@HitTheRopes I always wish for something unexpected like Santino to win something like this. #wwe

@kickoutblog Why the hell is Darren Young in this match?

@Niki_Sushi I look up to see Nexus, and totally went ‘GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!’ #BWF #RAW

@legendkiller515 this is the oddest collection of #raw superstars for a battle royal ive ever seen. most of them dont belong in this match #wwe #bwf

I don’t’ know what I’m supposed to say. The outcome was obvious.

Wade Barrett wins.

But, cutting his victory celebration short is none other than the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, who makes his way right up to the ring and right inside, like Barrett ain’t nothing. Which, he probably isn’t. Insert epic staredown, Randy holding up the title, and thus, RAW ends.

Proud of myself for getting this finished for you all tonight, even with a headache and some weird ass dizziness. Anyway, until next week!

Power Poll 8/18/10: He’s Unstoppable

August 19, 2010 2:16 am Leave a Comment

“Some of you aren’t going to be thrilled about who is at the top of the rankings this week (at least as much as you might be emotionally involved in the results of the Power Poll). “ – Jason Mann, WrestlePerspective

1. John Cena (2)

By comparison, I ranked Cena 6th on my Power Poll ballot, and oddly enough he was still the top WWE guy on there. But, apparently, The Nexus is a bigger threat to the WWE than I thought, and Cena defeating them at SummerSlam and then defeating Darren Young and having him exiled from the group is enough to put him at the top of this week’s rankings.

2. Kane (6)

By virtue of his win over Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam, I ranked Kane number 10 on my ballot. He makes number two overall this week, however, after a surprisingly clean win at SummerSlam and easy dominance over his brother following the match.

3. Randy Orton (5)

The Viper earned a win in his WWE Championship match at SummerSlam, but since it was by disqualification, he didn’t earn the title. An impressive showing against Justin Gabriel of The Nexus on RAW before being distracted into a countout loss by Sheamus helps Orton climb the ranks. (My vote: N/A)

4. The Miz (1)

The United States Champion was snubbed by Team WWE at SummerSlam in favor of his former NXT rookie Daniel Bryan, but that doesn’t take the Miz down too far this week, since he caused Bryan to be eliminated, then cost him a match against Michael Tarver of The Nexus the following night along with current NXT rookie Alex Riley. (My vote: N/A)

5. Daniel Bryan (NR)

In his surprise return at SummerSlam, Daniel Bryan single handedly eliminated at least two members of The Nexus before being taken out by his former mentor The Miz and his Money In The Bank briefcase. The following night, he impressed against Michael Tarver, but once again the United States Champion stopped him from attaining victory. (My vote: 7)

6. Sheamus (4)

The WWE Champion drops in the rankings again after failing to earn a victory over Randy Orton at SummerSlam. Eating an RKO on RAW doesn’t help stop him from falling either. (My vote: N/A)

7. Alex Shelley (NR)

Despite the entire top 5 of my ballot being TNA wrestlers, Alex Shelley is the first representative of that company to appear on the official Power Poll for this week. If you’re going to pick a top guy for TNA, this is one of the four men that deserve that honor after the impressive match in which the Motor City Machine Guns retained the TNA Tag Team Championships on the Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 3)

8. Chris Sabin (NR)

See Shelley, Alex. (My vote: 2)

9. Wade Barrett (NR)

The Leader of The Nexus was the last member of team to be eliminated at SummerSlam, and he redeemed himself enough to gain a spot in this week’s Power Poll by defeating Chris Jericho cleanly on RAW. (My vote: N/A)

10. Rob Van Dam (3)

The TNA World Champion, what’s left of him anyway, earns the last spot on this week’s Power Poll after an impressive showing against Abyss in a Stairway to Janice match on The Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 5)

I also voted for: James Storm (1), Robert Roode (4), Abyss (8), and The Undertaker (9).
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Hit the Ropes,NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog. Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy,Ringside Rants, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at) gmail.com.

RAW 6.14.10

June 15, 2010 1:35 pm Leave a Comment

Sorry this took so long everyone. I was fighting with technology all night.

What’s up everyone!! Tonight, RAW comes from my home state of North Carolina!! What is going on with the Season One NXT Rookies?! What’re the matches going to be to prepare us for Fatal 4Way? WILL SHEAMUS EVER TAN?! All questions will be answered tonight… Not really.

Raw starts us off with a rewind of what happened last week. If you didn’t see it, YouTube it, because I’d really rather not cover it again. It was the NXT rookies beating the hell out of everyone, and that’s all I’ll say about it. I saw enough of it reviewed and talked about and replayed in the past week that I’m so over what’s happened.

We start out with Wade Barrett in the ring, and he introduces himself as the Season One NXT Winner. He says he’s out there because RAW General Manager, Bret Hart demanded that he come out and apologize for lats week. He says that the rest of the NXT Rookies need to come out too so that they can apologize properly. The NXT Rookies fill the ring, and Jerry “The King” Lawler and Michael Cole leave, along with Justin Roberts and a few other people. Barrett starts with Heath Slater, asking him to apologize. Slater says no, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. Barrett moves to Justin Gabriel, who says never and he still has goosebumps. Skip Sheffield says no apolgies, no regrets. Michal Tarver says that the look of fear lived on the sweetest of his dreams, and there is no one in the WWE who can make him apologize. Darren Young says not a chance, and he had the time of his life last week. David Otunga says apologize? For what? After how the NXT Rookies were treated, they need to apologize to them. Barrett takes the mic back and says it looks like it’s unanimous. The rookies were treated like dirt, animals, and sooner or later, people will behave like animals. They were made to change in a small locker room, do ridiculous challenges, and were at the mercy of overzealous pros. The rules changed at a moment’s notice, they were eliminated on a whim, and they were made an international joke. Last time he looked, jokes were supposed to be funny, but no one was laughing after RAW last week when they destroyed the ring and John Cena (Obviously, this guy doesn’t read through the Twitter feed I was getting…)

Bret Hart makes his way out and says that they look proud of what they did. Where he comes from, eight on one doesn’t make you tough, just makes you look more cowardly. He reminds us that last week, they attacked John Cena, the Straight Edge Society, security, Justin Roberts, a timekeeper, and a Hall of Famer. Wade Barrett says that Daniel Bryan showed some remorse for it (because apparently that’s how they’re going to play off his firing…), and we’ll never see Daniel Bryan again. Bret says that despite everything, John Cena will still be competing this Sunday at Fatal 4Way. Wade says this had nothing to do with Cena, or the people in the arena. It’s between the Rookies and WWE Management. Aside from some of the pros, they don’t have a problem with anyone in the locker room. The Rookies could stay out arguing all night, but they need to get down to business. Wade has a contract, and a title opportunity at a Pay-Per-View of his choosing, but the other Rookies have their own demands.

David Otunga takes the mic and says their demands are guaranteed WWE contracts, private dressing rooms, and first class travel accommodations. If they fail to comply with even one demand, last week was just the beginning. Barrett takes the mic back and says that before Bret says anything, two weeks ago, Vince McMahon informed him that he would have difficult decisions to make as RAW’s General Manager. This isn’t a difficult choice, because behind him are a group of highly-polished athletes, who could be the future of the WWE. They’re dressed, here, and ready to fight. All they need is a contract.

Bret says that Barrett is right. It is his job to find new, fresh talent. But, with that in mind, his answer is no. He’s not hiring anyone. Barrett says he’s making a mistake. Bret says that it’s the Rookies who made the mistake by attacking Cena. He’s not signing any of them and on account of his actions, Barrett is no longer the breakout star of the WWE (Though Bret said WWF and it made me laugh), and he doesn’t get a title shot, because he’s fired. As for the rest of the Rookies, they can get out of the ring, or Bret will call the cops to physically remove them for trespassing, and they’re all through, whether they like it or not.

Everyone’s back ringside, and King says you can’t bully your way into the WWE.

Fatal Four Way Match for the United States Championship
United States Champion R-Truth vs John Morrison vs Zack Ryder vs The Miz

Ryder focuses on Morrison, and Truth focuses on Miz. Truth and Morrison get Miz and Ryder out of the ring, and go at it. Truth and Morrison lock up, and Truth gets Morrison in a headlock. Truth goes for a cover, but Ryder breaks it. Ryder whips Truth, and Miz grabs his ankles. Truth kicks him off, and Morrison rolls Ryder up. Ryder kicks out at two. Miz, Ryder, and Truth are outside the ring. Miz gets up on the apron, and Morrison flips outside the ring, grabbing Miz and throwing him out and into Ryder.

Miz and Morrison are in the ring, and Morrison goes for the cover. Miz kicks out at two, only to be covered again, and Miz kicks out at two again. Ryder’s up on the turnbuckle, and Morrison goes up with him, going for a superplex. Truth pulls them down and everyone’s down. Truth goes for a cover on Miz, who kicks out at two, then Ryder, who kicks out at two, then Morrison who kicks out at two. Miz goes for a cover on Truth, but Truth kicks out a two. Miz is attacked by Truth, but Ryder pulls him off. Truth starts wailing on him, then goes for Morrison and salms him down. Ryder misses a clothesline, but Truth hits Ryder with a scissor kick. Truth covers Ryder, but Miz breaks it up. Truth goes for Miz, but Miz pulls on the top rope, sending Truth out. Miz then hits Morrison with a baseball slide. Miz then runs at the opposite tunbuckle and hits Ryder with his swinging corner clothesline. Morrison pulls Miz out and hits him with a clothesline. Truth and Ryder are in the ring, and Truth hits the Lie Detector on Ryder. He goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it. Morrison went to do something to Truth, but Miz distracted him, and both Truth and Morrison throw Miz out. Truth knocks Morrison down and goes for the cover, but Ryder breaks it up. Truth knocks Ryder in the corner, Ryder moves, Truth hit with Rough Ryder. Ryder goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it up. Morrison hits Startship Pain on Truth, Miz throws him out, and covers Truth for the win.

New United States Champion, The Miz!

The main event tonight will be Randy Orton vs Sheamus!

Randy is backstage with Josh Matthews, and Matthews asks how Randy’s shoulder is, considering that Randy is competing tonight. Randy says that anything can happen at Fatal 4Way, as was just proven. He says to watch, wait, and see about his shoulder, when he fights Sheamus. Matthews then asks about the NXT Rookies. Randy says part of him has to respect it, because he understands why they’re making a point. But, a bigger part of him just thinks they’re a bunch of punks. They deserved to either be fired, or have their brains beaten in. But, considering Barrett only got fired, they got off lucky.

We come back to a Royal Pains package with Big Show, and Mark Feuerstein is with the Bellas. We’re reminded that this Thursday, on USA, at 10/9 Central, the Big Show guest stars. Ted DiBiase comes up and interrupts . He says that Mark could have a shiny new car of his choice waiting for him in the parking lot if he makes Ted co-Guest Host for the night. Mark says that unlike some people in the room, he has integrity. The answer is no. Mark then admits he’s a little scared of Ted, but then sees Big Show. He says that he would love to let Ted co-Guest Host, but there’s no chance he’s going to let him do that, because Ted’s a spoiled little daddy’s boy. Mark says that he was a wrestler in high school, and they called him Main Event Mark. Show clears his throat, and they shut up. Show says that they can do a match tonight: Show and Mark vs Ted and Virgil. Ted says done, and he and Virgil leave. Mark admits to Show that he was really an ice skater. He does a move where he jumps into Show’s arms, and the Bellas see it. Show says next time, Mark catches him, because it’s much more impressive.

Up next, John Cena will talk about last week’s attack!

Rewind to last week’s first Viewer’s Choice Match, the Body Slam Contest between Show and Jericho.

Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne

Chris an Evan start viciously. Chris kicks Evan, then rams him into the turnbuckle. Chris Irish Whips Evan, who counters with a hurricanrana. Drop toe hold, dropkick to the face, and then Bourne goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at one. Jericho clotheslines Bourne, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two. Chri then drops Bourne, stomps on his back, gets him in a headlock. Bourne gets up and kicks back, but Jericho smacks him and runs him into the turnbuckle. He throws Bourne over, but Bourne lands on the apron, kicking Jericho. He goes for a sunset flip, but Chris counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho, only for Bourne to kick him away. Bourne goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two. Jericho hits the Codebreaker, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two. Jericho starts attacking Bourne, and the ref tells him to stop. Jericho shoves the ref away and keeps going against Bourne. Jericho threatens the ref the next time he comes over and keeps kicking Bourne. The ref calls for the bell.

Evan Bounre wins via Disqualification

Jericho picks Bourne up and smacks him. Bourne kicks him and hits the Shooting Star Press.

Next up, Cena will respond to the NXT attack.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHUT THE DOOOR!!!!!

Cena comes out and makes his way to the ring as we flash back to earlier tonight when Barrett was fired.

Cena says that he had the night off, and he thanks Bret for having his best interests at heart. Thanks to Bret for not caving into the demands of the Rookies, because they’re demands that shouldn’t even be put up for negotiation. A portion of him respects them for doing it, and they needed a target. He says he’s the biggest target (and I blame the orange shirt for this), and he’s used to it. He goes on to say that their plan was almost brilliant, because their genius was blinded by their ignorance. The problem was with management, and they took RAW away from the WWE Universe, which was a bad move, because they made five million new enemies. They destroyed the ring, considered sacred ground, and now every WWE Superstar wants their head on a plate. Wade was fired tonight. Bold decision, but it won’t fix the problem. If the group was lawless enough to stop a broadcast of RAW, he says that getting arrested for a misdemeanor is the least of their problem. They’ve been kicked out, but he’s still there, and he hopes their watching. He’s going to Fatal 4Way, he’ll be on RAW the night after, and he’ll be standing in the ring, demanding they finish it. They’ve been fired, and all Cena has is his word. His word is this: If they fight, he won’t press charges.

The NXT Rookies show up from the stands again. He says that they thought he was a target? They put the target off him and put it on their own heads. King gets into the ring joined by Evan Bourne, William Regal, R-Truth, and Santino. A full out brawl starts, and Mark Henry, Randy Orton, and Edge all join. Sheamus even runs in with his lead pipe. The NXT Rookies run away, but the Superstars chase them backstage and out of the arena.

Sheamus is backstage with his lead pipe and Josh Matthews walks up and asks why he helped. Sheamus says that he won’t let the NXT Rookies ruin his match at Fatal 4Way, and if anyone’s going to take out Cena, it’s going to be him.

Rewind to last week’s Battle Royal.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Gail Kim vs Maryse and Alicia Fox

It’s been announced that the Diva’s Championship is on the line in a Fatal 4Way as well on Sunday. Diva’s Champion Eve Torres will defend against Gail Kim, Maryse, and Alicia Fox.

Maryse shoves Eve before the match has even started, and the two start attacking as soon as the bell rings. Eve kicks Maryse in the stomach and throws her down. Eve bounces back, but Alicia grabs her hair. Eve tries to pay her back, but turns around to get hit by Maryse with a spinning back kick. Alicia gets tagged in and they hit a double team, before Alicia covers Eve, but Eve kicks out. Alicia hits a superplex and then goes for the cover, but Eve kicks out again. Alicia puts Eve in a headlock, Eve fights out, and Alicia throws her onto the mat. She drags her by her hair to the corner and tags in Maryse. I missed some part or another here, but Alicia’s back in, she kicks Gail away, and then Eve is thrown into the corner. Alicia goes for a kick, but misses and ends up kicking Maryse. Eve hits a neckbreaker on Alicia and wins.

Diva’s Champion Eve Torres and Gail Kim win!

Turns out John Cena has decided to compete tonight after all, and the main event is now the one we missed the other week: John Cena and Randy Orton vs Edge and Sheamus. But, next up, Mark and Big Show will take on Ted DiBiase and Virgil.

The Big Show & Guest Host Mark Feurstein vs Ted DiBiase & Virgil

Ted and Show start out this match. Ted tries to get Show in a submission, but Show powers out and shoves Ted into a corner. He then proceeds to put his ass in Ted’s face. He stands Ted up and slaps his chest once, twice. Ted is throw into the opposite corner, and manages to poke Big Show’s eyes. Ted tries to pick him up, but Show just throws him. Ted then tags in Virgil, who looks at Ted like he’s nuts. He gets off the apron to talk to Ted, but Show grabs his head and just hurls him into the ring. Virgil rolls to the other side of the ring and out, but Mark grabs him and throws him back into the ring. Show bodyslams Virgil, then steps on him. He picks him up, throws him into the turnbuckle, rips her shirt, and slaps him too. Show gets Virgil with the chokeslam. While Ted’s yelling at a motionless Virgil to get up, Show tags in Mark. Mark breakdances in the ring for a minute before he does the worm over to Virgil. He winds up, and then drops… next to Virgil in an attempted elbow drop. Anyway, he covers Virgil for the win.

Big Show and Mark Feuerstien win!

Ted looks both humiliated and pissed. He starts to just walk right by Virgil, but then he stops and pulls $100 out of his boot, walking over and sticking it in Virgil’s mouth. He then walks away, but goes back, grabs the money, wipes it on Virgil and puts it in his trunks, reminding me of a hooker, before he walks out.

Showstopper by Toby Mac is the official F4W theme!

William Regal vs Santino Marella with Vladimir Kozlov as the Special Guest Referee

Kozlov starts the match and Santino, reminiscent of the other week, attempts a few kicks on Regal before Regal nails him with a shoulder block, stomping on his arm. Santino’s flipped, and Regal’s back on his arm. Regal’s focusing on Santino’s arm, but Santino manages to get Regal down with a handful of tights, and Kozlov gives him the three count. Regal argues, but Kozlov rolls out of the ring.

Santino Marella wins.

Bret comes out and says that he wants every Superstar out on the stage to prevent history from repeating itself. Up next, the main event!

<COMMERCIAL>

Edge & Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena & Randy Orton

Sheamus starts with Cena. They lock up, Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock. Cena pushes down on Sheamus’ knee with his foot to get out, and reverses it. Sheamus gets to the ropes. Cena reaches out to Sheamus’ hand like he’s going to lock up again, then goes around him for a full nelson, but Sheamus gets to the ropes again. Cena moves over and tags Orton in. Orton punches Sheamus, then puts him in a headlock. Sheamus pushes Orton into the turnbuckle and gets him down, kicking at him. Sheamus tags in Edge, but Oton hits Edge with a backbreaker. He goes down, pounding on the mat, then gets up and goes for the RKO, but Edge pushes him away and rolls out of the ring.

Cena gets the upperhand on Edge, hits a fisherman suplex and goes for the cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge gets out and goes for a clothesline only to miss. Cena hits a clothesline, however, and goes for a cover. Edge grabs the ropes. Cena punches Edge a few times and then knocks Edge out of the ring. Edge gets back in, but stays on the apron, grabbing Cena’s head and jumping off the apron. Cena falls back, and then Edge drags Cena to the other corner. He gets him in an arm bar before he tags in Sheamus. Sheamus kicks Cena, then goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Sheamus delivers a running high knee to Cena, then shoves his head down. Sheamus distracts the ref, and Edge holds Cena in a headlock. Sheamus then tags in Edge. Edge tries to get Cena up, but Cena hits a superplex on him. Edge then tags Sheamus back in, and Sheamus hits an elbow drop. Sheamus, once again, distracts the ref, and Edge takes advantage outside the ring. Sheamus rolls out and throws Cena into the barrier. He gets him back in the ring and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two.

Sheamus hits a clothesline and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out at two again. Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock and wraps his legs around Cena’s torso. Cena stands up, holding Sheamus and reaches for Orton, but falls. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Sheamus tags in Edge and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus drops him, and Cena is set up for the Spear, but moves last minute. Orton and Sheamus are tagged in. Orton keeps dropping Sheamus to the mat, and then hits a scoop slam. Orton gets Sheamus between the ropes and drops him face-first into the mat. He drops to the ring again, and then gets up to RKO Edge. Sheamus hits Orton with an Ax Handle, and then hits what King (I think) called the Irish Curse Backbreaker, and goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Sheamus gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out. Sheamus puts his knee in Orton’s gut, and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out. Sheamus drags Orton to his corner and tags in Edge. Orton fights Edge and Sheamus, and Edge hits a drop toe-hold and beats on Orton’s shoulder. Orton gets to his feet and then is Irish Whipped. He kicks Edge, who hits a clothesline. Orton tags Cena. Cena hits two shoulder blocks when the lights go down.

The NXT Rookies are destroying the backstage area. Two of them, I’m not sure which two because everyone started looking the same, get Bret in the back seat of a limo, which then proceeds to rear end a bunch of cars. They pull him out and say they want an answer by Sunday, and then they scatter.

So! What will the answer be at Fatal 4Way? Will the Rookies ever go away? STAY TUNED!!

NXT 5/18

May 18, 2010 11:08 pm 2 Comments

We’re down to five men due to two extra eliminations last week. If they haven’t changed the rules this should actually be the final elimination of the show. We start off with a recap of last week.
(more…)

WWE Superstars

May 13, 2010 11:27 pm 1 Comment

SUPERSTAR!

It looks like we will get a look at what happened on NXT according to my DVR description.

But first…

Match 1: Maryse and Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins

Meh…standard Diva’s match. While the Bella’s and Maryse are hot, I HATE Diva wrestling. Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win. After the match, Maryse and Jillian harrass the Bella’s a little bit more until Eve Torres comes to the rescue.

Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov vs Random Jobber A

If I have to tell you who wins, then there is something wrong with you.

NXT Lookback

In case you missed it, Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan (who is now known by his real name of Brian Danielson) were eliminated due to their comments last week and Skip Sheffield was eliminated by the pros.

Match 3: Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins vs Random Jobbers B and C

While we haven’t seen Vance Archer in a few months on WWE TV, Curt Hawkins hasn’t been for alot longer than that. Hawkins and Archer get the win here. I guess this is a last ditch effort for these two guys. Very random tag team. After the match, Archer tells everybody to pay attention. Hawkins says it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about him. He says they have been given contract for 30 days to make an impact. Whatever…

Main Event: Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Masters

At least this match sort of makes sense. These are two guys looking to get in the Intercontinental Title picture. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. This was a pretty good match…too bad nobody cares about them.

That’s it for tonight. See ya next week.

NXT 4/11

May 11, 2010 11:07 pm 1 Comment

Of course the big news for NXT is that Daniel Bryan broke his losing streak last night, pinning Santino Marella.

Oh, yeah and someone’s going to be eliminated tonight.

We start off with a review of some of the show’s hightlights.
(more…)

WWE Superstars

April 23, 2010 10:23 am Leave a Comment

Hey, my peeps! It’s time for another random Superstars review. I’ve been lazy lately and haven’t posted, so let’s get started.

Match 1: Shad Gaspard vs Goldust

Unfamiliar, generic music (kinda sounds like a hip-hop gospel music beat) hits and Stevie Ray…I mean Shad Gaspard comes out sporting some new Harlem Heat looking short trunks. Shad has the serious character going, but the look doesn’t quite fit. Shad pretty much dominates this match throughout, which is a good sign for him considering all of the releases yesterday. Another good sign for him and JTG is there strap match at Extreme Rules on Sunday. Goldust got in minimal offense in a quick spurt, but Shad picked up the win with the STO.

Video package showing NXT and their version of Rock em Sock em Robots. Skip Sheffield won this and his face was plastered all over WWE.com on Wednesday.

Match 2: Yoshi Tatsu vs Zack Ryder

With Kung Funaki released, Yoshi is now the resident Japanese guy in WWE. Ryder has dodged a bullet so far, but how long can he hang on to a job? I like the guy, but WWE writers don’t have anything for him minus the occasional Superstars match. I think a stable with him and the Dudebusters would be great. Yoshi wins with a Spinning Heel Kick from the top rope.

Main Event: Carlito w/Michael Tarver vs John Morrison

Carlito says despite being one of the few RAW superstars that actually made it to RAW this past week, he was disrespected and not put in a match. Out comes the Shaman of Sexy, the Friday Night Delight, the White Shadow John Morrison. Morrison is really getting a push on Smackdown…or so it seems. He had an outstanding match with Jack Swagger recently on Smackdown. Morrison gets the win with a Flying Chuck as Carlito was distracted by Michael Tarver.

See ya next week!

WWE NXT 4/20

April 20, 2010 11:14 pm 4 Comments

With the Raw roster stuck in Europe they need to change things up. Daniel Bryan needs to win to show all his problems are based on the Miz.

We open up with Striker introducing the rookies who are in the ring. Random order. We’re down to three weeks befoe elimination.

The challenge this week is an American Gladiators thing where you have to knock the other guy off a platform with a pugil stick. They call it Rock Em Sock Em Rookies.

Slater and Otunga start. Slater wins with a jab to the chest. Skip Sheffield and Wade Barrett are next. They both go off because when Barrett falls he falls forward. Next two are Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan. Tarver refuses to compete. He then shoves him. And Darren Young and Justin Garbriel last. Gabriel falls off fairly easily.

In the main event Heath Slater wrestles Chris Jericho.

We get some pros talking about Wade Barrett.

Our first match is David Otunga. He’s accompanied by R-Truth who looks to be in very good shape despite being blown up last night. The announcers are really pushing the A-List nickname.

His opponent is Justin Gabriel. Matt’s out with him and his arm isn’t taped.

Waistlock takedown hard by Otunga. Gabriel armdrags out of a second attempt. Kick to the gut and a headlock by Otunga. Shoulderblock. Slide under and Gabriel armdrafs him then dropkicks him.

Otunga crawls under the ropes and snaps one into Gabriel’s face. Neckvice. Discus punch attempt by Gabriel block, and spun into a neckbreaker. Reverse chinlock with knee in the back.

Gabriel avoids an elbow. Headscissors sends Otunga’s oput and a sommersault senton, which R-Truth enjoyed. Springbaord crossbody. Russian legsweep. Otunga avoids a 450 and then tosses him out. Gabriel leaps over the top into a sunset flip. Otunga wants R-Truth to grab his hands. Truth refuses and Gabriel gets the three count. Truth walks out post match. This follows up the announcers talking about Otunga not listening to Truth’s advice.

Semis of Rock Em Sock Em Rookies. Skip Sheffield advances over Heath Slater. Darren Young’s hair is even weirder this week, sweeping forward. He beats Bryan.

Michael Tarver apparently has a match. No, it’s an interview. He’s done being overlooked, and he doesn’t play by their rules. He has no intention to dance on a balloon like a monkey. He’s a bulldog off the leash. He issues and open challenge. Skip Sheffield comes out. Turn your upper lip south and shut your mouth. Here comes CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society. Punk says they aren’t the only ones looking for competition.

He shows Young’s match with Gallows and Punk raising his hand. Punk believes in the law of the jungle, of competition. He does this to keep them on their toes. He says this just became a Triple Threat.

Sheffield and Tarver target Young. Sheffield goes over the top. Tavrver ducks his head, eats a kick and gets clotheslined over the top.

Young is being double teamed with both of them stomping. Shoulders in the corner. Corner clothesline by Sheffield. Tarver with a snap suplex. Belly to Belly by Skip. They start breaking up pins. Young is sent hard into the ringpost.

Tarver and Sheffield fight. Corner clothesline, big splash. Young tosses Skip. TOrnado forearm and a flying shoulder by Young. Backdrop. He’s going up top. Gallows flips him off and attacks Skip. Tarver misses his knockout punch and Young finally gets to use his finisher, a dragon suplex into a face buster, for the win.

And now for the finals of Rock Em Sock Em Rookies. Skip won it, but it was close. No, actually it was to close so they’re doing a rematch. Sheffield gets it done decisively this time. He then quotes Keanu Reeves from the movie Hardball saying the most important part of life is showing up.

Time for the main event. Barrett accompanies Jericho.

Slater starts pounding away on Jericho but Jericho quickly takes over. Back suplex. Kick to the face. Back elbow. Catapult into the bottom rope. Snapmare, chinlock and half nelson. Slater fights out but gets a dropkick. Misses the Lionsault.

Clothesline. Running forearm in the corner. Ducks his head and gets a boot, but Slater avoids a clothesline and gets a eneckbreaker. Poke to the eye. Small package and he very cockily prepares for the Walls of Jericho and Slater scores the upset win. Jericho pitches a fit.

Once again an excellent show. I’m a little surpised Edge didn’t accompany Slater since he and Christian are old buddies. Of course not near as surprised as I am by the Slater victory.

Young looks to be primed for a rematch with Skip Sheffield next week, since they could easily have Gallows wondering if he just picked the wrong guy to help.

They tied the end of the Otunga match together with what the announcers had been talking about very well. I think that may have been the first time we’ve seen Gabriel without the 450.

They seem to be focusing less on Daniel Bryan these days. I suppose it’s to keep him from being to overexposed.

I was figuring on minor movement of the pros poll but it looks like they could change things a lot when they do it in a few weeks.

Tag Archive: Tarver

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