ECW 1/19/10
1 CommentLast week Ezekial Jackson won the ECW Homecoming to become number 1 contender for Christian’s ECW title.
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Last week Ezekial Jackson won the ECW Homecoming to become number 1 contender for Christian’s ECW title.
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Hey folks, ThinkSoJoE here, filling in for tharvey1 who is on vacation this week.
You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, I’m tellin’ you why. Santa Claus is comin’ to town – and hopefully, he won’t be singing “What’s Up” as he comes down your chimney. It’s Christmas Eve, it’s 8PM, and it’s on a network I don’t get, so we’re bootlegging it* for WWE Superstars!
*BoredWrestlingFan does not condone or endorse illegal downloads – but, since this show will be up on Hulu in a few days, I suppose it doesn’t matter this time. Hello, Mr. McDevitt!
ECW’s already had a busy week. On Sunday Christian defeated Shelton Benjamin to retain the ECW title.
On Raw he was challenged to a six man tag team match by William Regal. He chose Kane and Khali as his partners to limit the amount of work he had to do and got his second win.
And Yoshi Tatsu scored a quick win in a six man tag pinning Zack Ryder.
And now Tiffany has invited Kane to be on the show. To quote Kane “I’m back.”
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We’re less than a week till Shelton Benjamin and Christian try to steal the show at TLC for the ECW title. We open with Joah Matthews explaining the rules of the match. Vladimir Kozlov interrupts to call out Ezekial Jackson.
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We’ve got a tag team match for the main event. Four guys who shouldn’t like each other are teaming with Shelton Benjamin teaming with Christian to take on Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekial Jackson. Apparently pummeling the boss and only other employee isn’t firing grounds
Gobble Gobble Gobble. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Match 1: The Miz vs Santino Marella
On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the comedic hi-jinx provided by Santino as well as the awesomeness of The Miz. Santino chants echo throughout the arena as this one gets started. These two guys are great. If you don’t like Santino, then something is definitely wrong with you. He is absolutely hilarious. How guys keep from busting out laughing while in the ring with him is beyond me. He is one of the very few “entertainers” I actually watch. Most others I just fast foward the DVR through. As for The Miz, I can’t watch Real Word/Road World challenges without wishing for a surprise appearance from Mike Mizanin. Anyways, The Miz wins this match with the Skull Crushing Finale.
Ask the Divas segment…I am not thankful for this….BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov w/Willaim Regal minus Ezekiel Jackson vs Goldust
I am thankful that Kozlov has quit wearing those plain white trunks and has opted for the red shorts. I was always afraid I would see a big brown stain on the back of those white ones. I am also thankful that the Bizarre One is on ECW enhancing the younger talent and not lost on RAW or Smackdown. Kozlov wins this with the Iron Curtain. After the match, Regal lands a running knee to an already downed Goldust.
Main Event: R-Truth vs Dolph Ziggler
I am thankful that R-Truth is finally being used on a weekly basis in meaningful matches. I am also thankful that Dolph Ziggler was given a chance on Smackdown and not discarded after his lackluster introductions on RAW. If these two are main eventers by this time next year, then I will have something else to be thankful for. Truth hits the Lie Detector for the victory to end the show. What’s Up?!
Thank you for reading and I’ll see you again next week. Be safe!!!
What’s up, my Peeps?! Hope all is well in your world. I’m back following an absence last week…sorry. While I may be a tad tardy to the party this week, this review is getting done. And here…we…go!
Match 1: Kelly Kelly vs Gail Kim
I think everybody knows how I feel about diva wrestling by now. Thus, you just get the results here. Kelly Kelly defeats Gail Kim. I think Gail turns on Sunday. Raw needs another heel diva.
Match 2: Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov vs Tommy Dreamer and Golddust
I like Big Zeke and Golddust, but could care less about the other two. The finish sees Dreamer hit Kozlov from behind and Golddust hits the Flatline for the win. After the match, Jackson and Kozlov attack Tommy and the Bizzarre One. Zeke is a future World Champ IMO!
Main Event: Matt Hardy and R-Truth vs Drew McIntyre and Eric Escobar
Matt looks really fat in those tights that he insists on wearing to the ring every week. R-Truth should be an IC title contender. Drew McIntyre is pure gold. Eric Escobar IS fat. McIntyre hits Hardy with his DDT for the win. They are intent on pushing their young talent on Smackdown…catch a hint RAW!
That’s it for this week everybody. Peace!!!
Last week, interim General Manager William Regal was pinned in a tag team match by Yoshi Tatsu.
Speaking of Regal, he’s the first one out to start the show tonight, along with Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson. He sends his best wishes to Tiffany as she recovers from her injury. Last week, Regal was told not to make any decisions regarding the ECW Championship. However, in the face of adversity, sometimes you have to bend the rules, and therefore, William Regal is the new number one contender. Zack Ryder disagrees, bro. Regal and Ryder argue, until Christian comes out and has news for them – neither one of them deserve it. Need proof? A janitor, Tony Atlas, and Yoshi Tatsu come out to the stage. The janitor replaced all the urinal cakes in the bathrooms in section 105 today, which means he accomplished something, which is more he can say for Regal or Ryder, which makes him more deserving of an ECW title shot than either of them. Tony Atlas may hang out with Abraham Washington, but he’s a hall of famer, and he does the laugh, which is a great accomplishment, and better than anything Regal or Ryder’s done. Yoshi Tatsu has won some matches, including matches over Regal and Ryder. Regal protests, and Christian tells him to be quiet and calls him Bill. Christian says that Tatsu should be the number one contender. It’s not up to Bill who the number one contender is, because Christian happened to run into somebody in the hallway…
I know I want that girl so bad…
Tiffany is here, arm in a sling and she’s ready to be General Manager again. She has not yet decided who the number one contender is, but all of them can make their case tonight in singles competition. Ryder will face Christian, Regal will face Tatsu, and Jackson and Kozlov will be in tag team action, next!
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So, just who are Kozlov and Jackson’s opponents? Well, the generic Alice In Chains knockoff of a theme song indicates Tommy Dreamer, and the fact that my picture just went into letterbox format despite the fact this show is already airing in widescreen seems to indicate Goldust.
Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson vs. Tommy Dreamer & Goldust
I haven’t really paid a lot of attention to ECW lately, and that includes last week when I watched the show, and Goldust seems to be in much better shape right now than he was the last time I actually watched one of his matches. In the end, Dreamer takes his eyes off of Jackson to focus on Kozlov for a split second and falls victim to the Uranage, allowing Jackson to get the pinfall.
Backstage, Regal is sucking up to Tiffany, who seems to think that John Cena would actually come to ECW instead of SmackDown if he were to lose at Bragging Rights. She tells Regal to get ready, because his match is next.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
RAW Rebound: Complete with SportCenter highlights.
Yoshi Tatsu and his DDR music make their way to the ring. William Regal is not in a good mood when he makes his entrance, and seems like he just wants to dispose of Tatsu and get this over with. By the way, the new ECW ring announcer SUCKS!
William Regal vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Because Regal doesn’t believe in runsheets, he wasn’t ready for his match and he has to take up two minutes of our time to lace up his boots. Yes, advertisers, you’re sponsoring a show where we get to watch one of the top stars tying his shoes. In fact, he actually knocks Tatsu down and goes back to trying to tie his boots. It didn’t matter anyway, Tatsu ultimately picked up the win with a roundhouse kick to the face.
After the match, Matt Striker mentions on commentary that Regal’s foot appeared to be outside of the rope. Kozlov and Jackson came down to argue with the referee on Regal’s behalf. Josh Matthews reminds us there’s no instant replay, and that the referee’s decision is final.
Last week, Shelton Benjamin was attacked before the match and still managed to get a clean victory over Paul Burchill. Benjamin will face his attacker, Sheamus, this Thursday on Superstars – Enjoy that one, tharvey1!
Oh radio, tell me everything you know
Zack Ryder makes his way to the ring while Regal continues to protest his loss.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
William Regal is still ringside as the ECW Champion, Christian comes out to face Zack Ryder, who made his entrance before the break.
Christian def. Zack Ryder via disqualification
Hey, here’s a question. What the hell ever happened to Curt Hawkins? Anyways, the action spilled to the outside, and the match ended when Regal, Kozlov, and Jackson attacked Christian, giving him the disqualification win.
After the match, Ryder questioned why Regal and his associates would attack Christian – and he gets dropped by the trio for his troubles as well.
That’s it for me tonight, time to go watch Homer Simpson by a Canyonero. Goodnight from the land of Extreme everybody!
Tiffany was apparently in a car accident, so while she’s recovering, William Regal is in charge. He’s been ordered not to make any decisions involving the ECW Championship, including Number One Contenders matches. He’s made a change to tonight’s main event however. It will now be Christian vs. Zack Ryder, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, and William Regal in a 4 on 1 handicapped match.
Abraham Washington Show with guest, Intercontinental Champion John Morrison
And you guys wonder why I don’t watch this show anymore. BTW, Morrison was on “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” earlier tonight. He lost on the last question, but the show sent $2500 in his name to the Make A Wish Foundation anyway. Morrison takes shots at The Miz and Dolph Ziggler, until Ziggler comes out and takes a seat next to him on the couch. After some bad Dolph Lundgren jokes, we reach the punchline of John Morrison calling Ziggler “Mr. Ziggles.” Even Morrison and Ziggler couldn’t save this segment.
Backstage, Regal is on the phone defending his decision to make the match tonight. Ryder comes in and says that he’s got it on his own, but Regal says that the board of directors has made the match Regal, Kozlov, Jackson, and Ryder vs. Christian, Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, and Goldust. Ryder questions Regal’s management abilities.
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Shelton Benjamin def. Paul Burchill
Sheamus assaulted Shelton Benjamin from behind when he was on his way to the ring. The referee asked him if he still wanted to wrestle, and he said yes. It’s all Burchill through this match – until Benjamin dropped him with Pay Dirt for the victory.
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We waste a bunch of time talking about RAW’s main event for Hell In A Cell. Then Christian gives a pep talk to his team.
Christian, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, & Yoshi Tatsu def. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson, Vladimir Kozlov, & Zack Ryder
Tatsu pinned Regal for the win.
William Regal demands an ECW title rematch on the basis that his mindset was thrown off at Breaking Point by Tiffany’s decision to ban Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov from ringside. Tiffany declines, telling him she’s decided he doesn’t get another shot. Instead, we’ll get a battle royal later on tonight to determine the number one contender. Regal is then instructed to stay in the ring, as he’s got a match, right now…
Stand back! There’s a Hurricane Coming Through!
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William Regal def. The Hurricane
Apparently, this means that The Hurricane won’t be in the battle royal later tonight – Whasssupwitdat? Regal is forced to compete in his street clothes as this match was a complete surprise to him, and it shows, as The Hurricane controls most of it, and in fact hits the cross body from the top rope for a two. Regal decides to leave, but Hurricane catches him and tosses him back in – and gets kneed in the skull for his troubles – and a three count.
After the match, Paul Burchill attacks The Hurricane from behind and hits him with the Jackhammer.
Backstage, Goldust is apologizing to Yoshi Tatsu, who apparently just wants to continue his English lessons. He even impersonates Goldust’s tourettes. Zack Ryder wants to know if he can say loser. Goldust tells him to say loser – and he says “Zack Ryder.” Ryder says we’ll see who the loser is – Woo Woo Woo.
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The new interview girl catches up with Burchill, who asks where Gregory Helms is, and remembers that he supposedly just left him in the ring. He says he wants to expose the Hurricane for who he is. Which makes me wonder why he didn’t unmask him when he knocked him out a few minutes ago.
The Bella Twins are here to be guest ring announcers. They introduce Yoshi Tatsu first, and considering he’s facing Zack Ryder, I hope he’s wearing an extra pair of tights. Matt Striker says that Zack Ryder has the best entrance music in ECW. I think it’s between his and Christian’s, honestly. And I still love Goldust’s theme.
Before getting into the match, however, I just found out that Mick Foley’s father, Jack, has passed away, so I’d like to take the opportunity to send condolences on behalf of the BWF staff to the Foley family.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Zack Ryder
A pretty good match, ending with Tatsu nearly kicking Ryder’s head off.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Battle Royal time. Shelton Benjamin, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust (who still has a letterbox entrance despite the fact that the show is broadcast in 16:9 widescreen), Tyler Reks, Sheamus…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
…Yoshi Tatsu, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder (still holding the back of his head).
Zack Ryder wins a 10 Man Battle Royal to become the new Number One Contender for the ECW Championship.
Burchill is tossed by Shelton Benjamin. After about 5 minutes of nothing of any interest happening, Kozlov and Jackson stare each other down.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Reks was eliminated during the break. Jackson eliminates Tatsu. The fans are solidly behind Goldust. Seriously. Sheamus is eliminated by Benjamin, as is Jackson. Sheamus attacks Benjamin, causing him to drop to the floor, eliminating him. Ryder, Goldust, Kozlov, and Dreamer are left. Goldust accidentally eliminates himself while going after Ryder, who pulled the ropes down on him. The same thing happens to Kozlov when he goes after Dreamer, who is dumped over the top rope by the winner, Zack Ryder!
Ryder’s getting a title shot. Woo Woo Woo, you know it!