World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho (Triple Threat Match):
JT: Jericho over Undertaker & Big Show
Drowgoddess: Undertaker wins. Either Jericho or Show will cost the other the win, and they’ll continue to fall apart as a tag team. Taker’s not losing anything at this point.
ThinkSoJoE: I think we all know who’s prying that belt from the cold, dead hands of The Undertaker – and it’s not Chris Jericho or The Big Show. Somebody had a feud over the World Heavyweight Championship with The Undertaker that never had a proper finish, and he just turned heel. Expect ‘Taker to walk out with the gold in tact.
Rey Mysterio vs. Batista
JT: Batista eats Mysterio then gets injured
Drowgoddess: Batista wins. ‘Nuff said.
ThinkSoJoE: I don’t think it’s so much a question of who is going to win, but more of if this match is going to live up to the buildup. Batista made Rey sign a hold-harmless agreement – Since I’m pretty confident The Animal is taking this one, he’d better leave Mysterio half dead in the center of the ring.
Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, & Christian) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr. , CM Punk, & William Regal) :Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match:
JT: Team Orton over Team Kingston
Drowgoddess: This is a tough call. I really don’t care about the teams as a whole, but I’m a tremendous fan of both Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. I’m essentially chosing between them. I’ll go with Team Kofi to win, as Punk has not been the same since his World title loss to Undertaker. Neither he nor the team of which he is a part will win here.
ThinkSoJoE: Randy Orton’s got a reputation to uphold. He’s been the sole survivor a few times at the Survivor Series, so I’m kind of leaning towards that happening here. Orton will stand alone and still manage to win.
Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, & Finlay) vs. Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger) : Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match
JT: Team Morrison over Team Miz
Drowgoddess: Why is this ppv sounding so much like the “Twilight” movies? Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team This, Team That. At least these guys don’t sparkle in sunlight. With the possible exception of Sheamus. Like anyone’s going to tell him! In any case, despite the level of fandom I have for both Morrison and Bourne, I’m going with Team Miz to win here. Sheamus and McIntyre are absolute BEASTS, Swagger and Ziggler can play the technical game, and The Miz is simply awesome.
ThinkSoJoE: Miz beat Morrison at Bragging Rights – Morrison should get his revenge here. The way I see it, Morrison can pin The Miz here, and then maybe they run into – and eliminate – each other at the Royal Rumble setting up a WrestleMania match. For what it’s worth, I also see Team Miz imploding and costing themselves the match.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels (Triple Threat Match)
JT: Cena over D-X, yeah I said it.
Drowgoddess: *YAWN* I so don’t care. Honestly, I’m not being smarky, I sincerely don’t care the slightest little bit about this match or who wins it. Considering what I predicted in the World title 3-way above, HBK steals a win from underneath HHH, and the DX split takes front and center.
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going to get heat for this, I know it – but Shawn Michaels is the best professional wrestler in the world today. It’s been years since HBK had a title run, and I’d love to see it happen here, but since this match was just randomly thrown together by two guys who turn left for a living and a leprechaun, I’m fully expecting Cena to win.
Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, & Layla) :Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match
JT: F@^& the Divas Match
Drowgoddess: Another yawner for me, since I have no interest in nailing any of these women. I love Beth Phoenix, and she’s so much better than this, but I’m choosing Team Mickie. Mickie, Gail Kim, and, to a lesser extent, Melina, can actually wrestle. Plus, I live for the day that Michelle McCool gets hit by an 18-wheeler hauling toxic waste. Don’t mistake that for heel heat. She’s not that good. It’s “get off my tv and out of my world” heat.
ThinkSoJoE: So wait, let me see if I’ve got this right. Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Layla all got into this match, but Natalya, one of the few women on the roster who can actually wrestle, didn’t? Who books this crap? My prediction is half the audience gets up and goes to use the restroom during this one.
I have no idea of what’s supposed to be going on this week on SmackDown, though I’m sure it will involve the Unified Tag Team Champions Jeri-Show, and the World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker as they get set for their triple threat match at Survivor Series. So screw it, let’s dive right in!
@robbyfischer @BrdWrstlngFn I got a beer ready. 🙂 Oh how I miss Austin.
While I may not be able to drink tonight, the beer will likely be flowing tomorrow night when yours truly and BWF’s Random Redhead JT get an early start on our birthday celebrations tomorrow night. For tonight though, it’s time for RAW in Sheffield, England!
@BigBBrown Adolf Hitler will be guest hosting Monday Night Nitro tonight live from Hell.
@RDLee This tweet better make it in the review!!!!!! #BWF – just because we like you.
Last week: Chris Jericho and The Big Show destroyed John Cena and DX.
RAW still wants to be loved – at least, until next week. We’re live from Sheffield, England, and @ClubWWI’s @aaron24wood is in the house!
Ricky Hatton kicks things off as tonight’s guest host. He brags about winning a world title in the same building a few years ago, and then he’s interrupted by the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions, JeriShow, both of whom tower over him.
@IVHORSEMEN Damn Ricky been eating good #wwe #bwf
@_MFS_ good thing I’ve got an energy drink, it’ll keep me awake through the obligatory ‘interrupt the guest host to demand stuff’ start 2 #RAW #BWF
@cmpg Is Jericho and Big Show the unofficial welcoming committee for each new guest host? #WWE #RAW #BWF
Show makes fun of Hatton for being short, and Hatton says he loved it when Show got beaten by a boxer. Show offers Hatton a free shot. Hatton says he needs to get a ladder first. Show kneels down and is still almost as tall as Hatton. Hatton goes for the free shot, but Jericho stops him. Jericho says that Show has enough to worry about with Undertaker and Jericho as his opponents at Survivor Series. Show questions him and Jericho brags about the roll he’s been on. Show says he’s the only one walking out as World Heavyweight Champion at Survivor Series. Hatton makes a match for tonight – JeriShow vs. DX. Jericho says he’s just as bad as all the fans, as only Jericho can. Hatton tells him to speak English. Jericho says he is speaking perfect English. Hatton says he’s just a guy with a bad haircut.
BREAK IT DOWN!
DX arrive on the scene. They tell JeriShow that they’re lucky DX came to save them from getting knocked out by Hatton. Triple H tells Hatton that they’ll take care of the Honey Monster and Mr. Bean tonight. HBK says to forget about tonight, how about right now? He knocks Jericho out of the ring, and Show rolls up his sleeves as though he were going to take on all three of them, but he bails. DX and Hatton do the “two words” shtick and set off the pyro.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@spicypeanut HHH is speaking about humiliation while wearing spandex underwear while speaking to two men in nice suits. Hey Trips? Are you ok?
Last week: Alicia Fox won a Diva’s Boring Royal.
Kelly Kelly heads to the ring, and she’s got Gail Kim with her for some reason. Alicia Fox is her opponent, and has Jillian with her for some reason. Fox will be getting her Diva’s Championship match next week from Madison Square Garden, which will be attended by @steverechtman.
Alicia Fox def. Kelly Kelly
If you want a review of this match, I’ve got two words for ya. “Who Cares?” Fox wins with the scissor kick.
@fozzyfan RT @WellYoureWrong: I’m convinced Kelly Kelly has no soul. #wwe <– Or brain, or talent, or…
Ricky Hatton introduces his kid to John Cena, who says Hatton is doing an awesome job, but complains that he’s not booked. Hatton says somethingorother that I couldn’t be arsed to pay attention to.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@AndrewJanus god in heaven…he let his son out of the house dressed like that? #WWE #RAW (Hatton’s kid was wearing a bunch of John Cena and DX merch)
@x_tialicia yuck, Cena is on my tv screen. back to reading Cosmo. #WWE
Last Monday: Sheamus damn near killed Jamie Noble.
Speaking of Sheamus, he’s here! He’s also a part of Team Miz at Survivor Series. It’s Miz, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Sheamus, and Drew McIntyre vs. John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Evan Bourne, and Matt Hardy. Sheamus says that last week he said he’d end Jamie Noble’s career, and he did. Right now, he’ll do what the Irish have always done – walk through this Englishman and make him look like a fool
Sheamus vs. some English dude
Poor English dude, he doesn’t even get a name. Sheamus destroys him with ease.
Still to come, Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton, and DX vs. Jeri-Show.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@NiKiharu How to beat Sheamus: Wrestle during the day. He won’t show up.
The Bella Twins are sucking up to Ricky Hatton backstage. I still can’t understand a word this guy is saying. They challenge him to a game of darts, when Santino shos up dressed like a fat boxer. Santino says his name today is Ricky Fatton. Chavo Guerrero shows up and accuses Santino of sucking up. Chavo says he can beat Hatton at anything. He throws a dart and nearly misses the board, while Hatton gets a bullseye. Chavo says he’s not here to play darts, he’s here to challenge Santino. Hatton says we’ll do boxer vs. wrestler, Chavo vs. Ricky. Not Ricky Fatton, Ricky Hatton.
Look at this tool.
The tool, Josh Matthews, is standing by with The Miz, and wondering how he thinks he’ll be successful at Survivor Series? Miz reminds us that he’s the only person from RAW to win his Bragging Rights match last month, beating captain John Morrison. Jack Swagger interrupts. He says Miz is in awe of Jack Swagger, and brags about being undefeated. Miz should watch what he does to Evan Bourne. They do a babbling argument promo and I lose track of it. Really.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@DCsPeoplesChamp I wonder how many takes it took for Hatton to get a bullseye…Santino still owns! #bwf
@xsmoothx #RAW You’re watching Monday Night REALLLLLLLY!!!!
@legendkiller515 raw is getting real stale real fast
I agree with @legendkiller515 (no, that’s not BWF’s Legend Killer, if you’re wondering), this show is getting real stale real fast. Maybe this guy can make it better – Evan Bourne hits the ring, and he’s set to job to The All American American, Jack Swagger.
Evan Bourne def. Jack Swagger
As Swagger is dominating this match, The Miz makes his way to the ring. Swagger tries to show off, but he gets kneed in the skull by Bourne, who hits the Shooting Star Press for the win!?!
After the match, Miz says he’s the team captain at Survivor Series, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!
Mark Henry is up next!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@jswrestling It’s still hard for me to believe that Mike from The Real World Season 10 is our US Champion. He’s come a long way.
@_MFS_ So Mark Henry was either doing push ups while standing up or trying to push over a brick way, either way… FAIL #WWE #RAW #BWF
Two weeks ago: Yours truly was subjected to the terrible guest hosting of Kyle Busch and Joey Lagano. Busch, in the RAW car, won at Texas. Whatever that means.
I thought we were going to have a match. but apparently it’s the VIP Lounge with MVP and Mark Henry. They’re in yet another traditional Survivor Series match – Kofi Kingston captains Christian, MVP, Mark Henry, and R-Truth against Randy Orton’s team featuring Legacy, William Regal, and CM Punk. MVP does the usual VIP Lounge spiel. Mark Henry introduces their guest, Kofi Kingston. JAMAFRICAN ME CRAZY, KOFI! They take turns putting each other over. Randy Orton and Legacy crash the VIP Lounge after intimidating the bouncer. Orton calls them a bunch of low class street thugs. Mark Henry stole a victory, MVP is the definition of the common criminal, and Kofi Kingston should be in jail for what he did to Orton’s car. The only reason Orton hasn’t done anything is because he wants to embarrass Kofi and his team at Survivor Series. Legacy mock the VIP Lounge, and Orton says that they were born into this business and belong here. The only place Henry, MVP, and Kingston belong is the hood where they came from.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@MissieBird Oh no he didn’t! (at least he didn’t say the only place you belong is in the back of the bus… )
Randy Orton def. Mark Henry
This match is already going on when we come back, and the two combatants’ respective allies are ringside. In the end, Orton drops an RKO out of nowhere for the victory.
After the match, Kofi comes in to check on Henry. Orton slaps him, but Kingston slaps him right back.
Up next, Ricky Hatton faces Chavo Guerrero. Joy.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@_MFS_ I honestly fell asleep during that last match, woke up when my upstairs neighbor dropped something #WWE #RAW #BWF
@AlyKat_730 … *sighs* I don’t want to watch the main event… and I don’t really wanna watch the boxer v wrestler match.
@chjpacheco #BWF raw has lost it’s step its always boring
The new RAW theme that we told you about two weeks ago is debuting next week. When did Nickelback become the number one band in America? First of all, they suck. Second of all, they’re Canadian.
OOOH, JOBBO!
Chavo’s here, and at least he’s not singing. Ricky Hatton is here dressed like a Mexican. Seriously. Cole even calls him “The Manchester Mexican.” I don’t know if that’s a real thing or not, but it’s ridiculous. Hatton can only win by knockout, Guerrero only by pinfall or submission.
Ricky Hatton def. Chavo Guerrero
Guess what happened? Hatton punched Guerrero and won the match by knockout. Cole says it’s 33 knockouts now for Hatton, as if it actually counts.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
@swimbabe5409 Wtf? Wwe really needs to give @mexwarrior the push he deserves!
@TheGiorgis I’m watching Ricky Hatton vs Chavo Guerrero on RAW. WHY???????
John Cena tries to convince Hornswoggle to stop wearing DX gear. DX shows up, and give Cena the third degree. Cena tells them they should focus on their tag match tonight. They turn “Tweeting” into some kind of gay joke. Thanks Trips. I’m sure all of these folks that were mentioned in this post so far appreciate that. Anyways, DX ask where Hornswoggle is, and Cena calls for him. Hornswoggle comes out from hiding dressed like Cena and does the “Can’t see me” thing. DX leaves and Hornswoggle takes the cena gear off and has his DX gear still on under it.
The Big Show and Chris Jericho take on DX, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Well folks, each and every week, I have to work Monday Nights and it makes me miss the end of the show, and we, like the WWE, have a guest host for Monday Night RAW. Well, tonight is a historic night for BoredWrestlingFan – it’s the first time since we started doing the guest host thing that we’ve got somebody who isn’t a writer for the site taking over. Volunteering for the guest hosting spot this week is one of our Twitter followers, @aemckay!
Cena is with Cole and The King and they discuss Hornswoggle as DX enter the ring.
Michaels and Jericho start the match with some back and forth running strikes. HBK tags in Hunter, who Whips Jericho into the corner. Jericho fights back and backs HHH into the opposite turnbuckle. Jericho hits an Irish Whip and on his way back HHH strikes him with a high knee. Jericho tries again and gets thrown out of the ring as we go to a break.
We come back to find Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels in the ring. Jericho slaps Michaels, then tags in Big Show. Show chokes him and then launches him into the ropes. Michaels counters, goes to pin, and gets thrown off. Big Show gets up, headbutts HBK, walks over him and then tags Jericho back in. Jericho grinds HBK down with some grapples and then tags Show back in. Show brings HBK into the middle of the ring and he jumps in to take HHH.
Show throws HHH to the ropes, goes to anticipate a clothesline and gets a jumping knee for his troubles. HHH then attempts a Pedigree and is thrown over Shows back. Show then takes him to the corner and tags Jericho back in. Jericho kicks HHH, showboats, and then locks in a sleeper hold.
HHH slowly gets up and breaks it, but Jericho knocks him back down. He mocks Micheals then pins Hunter for a 2 count. Jericho tags Show back in and they use HHH’s legs like he was a wishbone. While he’s still on the ground Show walks over then stands on HHH.
Show takes HHH into a turnbuckle, then another, before Hunter tries to fight back. Show knocks him down again and then splashes him, getting a 2 count. Show then grips HHH’s mid section as Jericho talks smack, and Cena quotes him as calling Show “a giant destroyer”.
Show brings HHH up, chops him then tags Jericho in. HHH and Jericho have some back and forth punching until Jericho backs him into the corner and beats on him. Jericho takes HHH to the other corner, goes to Irish Whip him, but HHH gets in a spinebuster. HHH crawls to HBK for a tag, who gets in some vintage running stikes and a kip up, before knocking Show off the apron. Michaels then goes to the top rope for a flying elbow drop, tries to hit a Sweet Chin Music, Jericho counters into a Walls Of Jericho attempt, but HBK fights it off.
Show then comes in as they go into a corner, squashing them both. HBK turns round as Show tries to KO punch him, but HBK ducks and hits Jericho. HHH then takes Show out of the ring and Michaels gets the win.
Justin Roberts then cuts the DX music off to announce that hes just been informed that next week’s main event on RAW will be a triple threat tag team match. It will be D-Generation X vs Chris Jericho & Big Show vs John Cena and his partner…
Cena is standing on top of the announcers table with a smile on his face as we hear a gong sound and the lights go out. We then see flames and smoke at the top of the ramp and The Undertaker appears. DX and Jeri-Show look puzzled as Cena looks confident and ‘Taker stares them all down.
Michael Cole then hypes up the fact it will be at Madison Square Garden next week. He fails to mention the good news of Roddy Piper being the guest host and the bad news of Nickleback’s song being the new RAW theme. That’s Monday Night Raw for another week. It was a decent back and forth tag match but it seemed a little short. I’m sure next week will make up for that though.
Thanks to @aemckay and all the rest of the twitterverse who made it into this week’s RAW review!
Before I get started with the SmackDown review, I want to give an update on the condition of “Mastiff” Will Calrissian, who slipped off of the ropes and landed on his head during the Empire State Wrestling “Overdrive” event last weekend. He’s out of the hospital, and recovering from a fractured skull. We here at BoredWrestlingFan wish Mastiff a speedy recovery!
Anyways, I have no idea what’s on tap for tonight, so let’s just roll with it!
AJ Styles is now TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Samoa Joe is still X-Division Champion. Sarita and Taylor Wilde are the first-ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions.
Now what?
Join your Empress of “Impact” in crossing the nearest line to find out!
We start proceedings with the happenings of the WWE’s latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Breaking Point. The event was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the home of the infamous screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series, and this same event, included it’s own screwjob. CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion, controversially retained the title, after his opponent, the Undertaker had his win taken off him, due to an ‘illegal submission hold’. Smackdown! General Manager, Teddy Long, used an old rule implemented by Vickie Guerrero, and banned Undertaker’s Devil’s Triangle. The same move used to make CM Punk submit at Breaking Point. Using this technicality so to speak, means it gives Punk a chance to beat the Undertaker in a submission match, and it builds onto the next PPV, Hell In A Cell.
Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. No wonder he wanted to leave the WWE.
Linda McMahon has resigned from the WWE, to concentrate on running to become a Senator in her home state of Conneticut. Good for her. I hope things work out well for her.
Onto TNA news, and TNA have announced the firings of BG James, and Jim Cornette. This is a bad move. Cornette is a mastermind when it comes to wrestling, and with BG James gone, this allows him to come back and be the third member in D-Generation X, which is just what we need.
No Surrender is this weekend, and Kurt Angle defends the TNA Heavyweight Championship against Matt Morgan, Sting and AJ Styles. My predictions will come later in the week, and I suggest that the rest of the BWF staff follow suit.
Song of the Week: From the album ‘Hulk Rules’ by the Wrestling Boot Travelling Band, it’s Track 4 from that album. I strangely enjoy this song.
Onto other news of the week.
South African athlete Caster Semenya, has been revealed to have both male and female sexual organs, making her a hermaphrodite. South African officals are unsure as to whether he/she is allowed to keep her 800m World Championships Gold Medal.
Kanye West has taken over John Edward as the biggest douche in the universe, after his stunt at the VMAs this past week.
I thought Jay Leno left the Tonight Show? Explain to me how his new show is different, except for the timeslot.
Both of my Yahoo Fantasy! NFL teams won this week. Cheer the mighty D-Crippilation X to victory!
Patrick Swayze passed away at age 57, after his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people say he was a sex symbol at his age before his death. I say he was in Roadhouse, and cleaned house with Terry Funk. RIP.
Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston. According to one of his ‘sex slaves’, Osama would talk about Whitney all the time. Whitney responded in this manner. Then Tyra had to have her say. Finally, Danny Noriega had this to say.
That’s all for this week. Tune into BWF programming later in the week.
We’re not wasting any time – the bell tolls and The Undertaker is heading towards the ring!
He says that the sands of time have fallen slowly through the hourglass, but in two days, he’ll reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship and once again cast his shadow of darkness over SmackDown. He’s sure by now CM Punk is growing very tired. By now, he’s constantly waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle of his own sweat, consumed by fear, knowing that his Breaking Point will be realized when he feels the grip of Hell’s Gate. Submission is the only alternative to an eternity of pain. When Punk submits, and he will submit, not only will he relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship, but he will personally hand Undertaker his soul, and thus the symphony of lies shall end.
The World Heavyweight Champion has heard enough, and he comes out on the stage, microphone in hand. He says that he sees through the smoke and mirrors, and sees Undertaker for what he really is. While Jeff Hardy was a charismatic enabler, Undertaker is so much worse. He’s prayed on these people’s chemically influenced minds for nearly 20 years. He’s like this generations Alice in Wonderland. He’s created a self destructive cycle because all of these people actually believe in The Undertaker. They believe he’s got magical powers that allow him to come back and vanquish any foe. They believe, get this, that The Undertaker has a chance of taking the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday. What they don’t realize is that Punk is stronger than the Undertaker’s previous victims. He’s not after Undertaker’s soul, he just wants to make him tap out. Imagine the reaction when Taker does tap out? They just lost Jeff Hardy, and now they’ll watch The Undertaker submit to the Anaconda Vice. They’ll go and get drunk, pop some pain pills, just to numb themselves from the reality that their hero tapped out. We’ll get a glimpse of it tonight when Punk makes Matt Hardy tap out to the Anaconda Vice. He asks The Undertaker not to interfere, because he wants everybody to get a glimpse of the world we’ll all live in after he makes Undertaker tap at Breaking Point. There will only be one icon, the choice of a new generation, the only straight edge World Champion in history, CM Punk. They’ll all be forced to join Punk and just say no. Taker says Punk got something wrong. They won’t be saying just say no, they will say rest in peace.
Up next, it’s a Belfast Brawl pitting Finlay against Mike Knox
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Last week, Finlay pinned Knox after a shillelagh shot.
This week, the fighting Irishman faces Knox in a Belfast Brawl.
Finlay def. Mike Knox
Knox is kinda doing this smart guy gimmick, which is cool. It kinda reminds me of Raven a little bit, though I don’t believe that Knox is actually a member of MENSA. Anyways, speaking of the original ECW, matches like this make me miss it. Sure, it’s more brutal than the normal WWE match, but it’s got none of ECW’s hardcore heart. Steel chairs and trash cans are the traditional WWE weapons, and they’re put to good use here, mostly by Knox. Knox breaks out another WWE staple, at least since the Dudleys came over from ECW a decade ago, the table. Before anybody actually goes through the table, Finlay gets to his shillelagh and knocks Knox cold for the three count.
Backstage, Michelle runs into Dolph Ziggler, who is looking for Maria. Maria’s nowhere to be found, and Michelle wants to know what he sees in a ditzy little girl like Maria when he could be with a sexy woman like her. She falls and starts groping him while Layla snaps a picture with her cell phone.
David Hart Smith is accompanied by Natalya and Tyson Kidd for singles competition. He’s not the only one accompanied by family – Ranjin Singh is with his big brother, Smith’s opponent, The Great Khali.
This one never gets started, as Kane attacked Khali as soon as he got in the ring. He grabs another WWE signature weapon (that was stolen from ECW), the Singapore Cane, but before he could use it, Khali turned the tide and dropped the Big Red Monster with a Punjabi Plunge.
The Unified Tag Team Champions are heading to the ring, as they’re up NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The World Tag Team Champions are here. They both lost in singles matches against their Breaking Point opponents this past Monday on RAW….
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
I hope JeriShow destroy them.
Chris Jericho and The Big Show def. Cryme Tyme
I have to apologize, guys. I’ve paid absolutely no attention to this match because I just found out about Jeff Hardy’s arrest earlier today and was reading about it. JTG tried to skin the cat back into the ring, and he got an unlikely assist back in from The Big Show’s fist, knocking him out cold and leaving him prone for Jericho to pick up the pinfall.
Teddy Long is greeted by Mr. McMahon backstage. Mr. McMahon reminds him he’s on probation, and that SmackDown is only good. It needs to be great. What’s Long going to do about it? Next week, he’s got a huge surprise that will change the face of SmackDown. Mr. McMahon wants to know what he’ll do for him at Breaking Point. Long says he’ll have something good. Mr. McMahon reminds him he doesn’t like good, he wants excellent. McMahon asks where his picture is, and Long says he’s wondering the same thing.
Submission Match coming up later tonight between Matt Hardy and CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK (I WANT THE SMACKDOWN DVD!)>
Charlie Haas is already in the ring – which means he’ll be jobbing. Especially since his opponent is the NEW Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison!
John Morrison def. Charlie Haas
John Morrison can make anybody look like a credible opponent, which makes him look even better when he hits the Starship Pain and picks up a victory like he did here.
JoMo says that last week he became the Intercontinental Champion in one of the greatest matches of his career, but it wouldn’t be possible without Rey Mysterio (doing drugs). He can’t describe the feeling, but he hopes these images will do that for him.
Video: Morrison celebrating winning the title and hugging Rey Mysterio
Morrison thanks Rey from the bottom of his heart, and offers him a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension asks for one.
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler is sickened. He earned his title match, and Morrison and Mysterio decided to have a match. Morrison says that’s pretty much what happened. Was he going to lose again to Mysterio? Ziggler says that the third time’s a charm, but he wants his title match. Morrison says let’s do it right now. Ziggler says no. We’ll have it on his terms. Morrison wonders if Ziggler’s scared and calls him Mr. Ziggles. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison wonders if Maria calls him that. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison says he just called him that. Ziggler says Morrison doesn’t count. Morrison says the whole arena is chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler says to stop it or he’ll leave the stage. The fans cheer. Morrison says he thinks Ziggler should go, because it’s what the people want, and they’re not going to stop chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler slinks up the ramp and backstage, much to the delight of the SmackDown fans. Morrison says that the WWE Universe won’t stop chanting Mr. Ziggles as long as he’s Intercontinental Champion.
Josh Matthews is with Matthew Hardy. Tonight he faces the man who was right about his brother’s drug use all along ended his brother’s career. Hardy says that Punk won’t be able to say he’s never submitted anymore. There will be two submissions – to The Undertaker at Breaking Point, and tonight against Matt Hardy. He says that Punk will be lucky to make it to Breaking Point, because when he locks in a submission, he’s not letting go.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Melina is out first for her match, and her opponent, Layla, is accompanied by the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool.
Layla def. Melina
Michelle hit Melina with her crutch to allow Layla to pick up the victory.
Josh Matthews is with R-Truth. He asks about Drew McIntyre. Truth says that the party is just getting started and starts babbling. The basic idea, I think, is that he wants a match with Drew McIntyre – who assaults him from behind.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Before the break: Drew McIntyre attacked R-Truth
Todd Grisham and JR run down the Breaking Point card
The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk makes his way out to the ring as we relive him crashing through a table last week at the hands of The Undertaker. He’s facing Matt Hardy in a submission match – NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk def. Matt Hardy
Matt, I’m begging you, please either go back to the pants look until you drop some weight, or get some tights that fit you. You look ridiculous with your underwear sticking out of the back of your tights. If I were your opponent, I’d give you a wedgie. In fact, I just tweeted him that @MATTHARDYBRAND. Here’s hoping he doesn’t post a blog blasting me. Hardy actually holds his own in this match, and utilizes a variety of submission holds, primarily working over Punk’s knee. Doesn’t stop Punk from kicking him in the head then locking him in the Anaconda Vice for the victory!
Punk celebrates his victory, holding his title high, but the bell tolls and the lights go out. When they come back on, Punk is without his title, as it is in the possession of The Undertaker at the top of the ramp.
My Thoughts: I have absolutely zero interest in Breaking Point. Submission matches are traditionally held between two guys who are well versed in submission – Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit comes to mind. I’m also disappointed that a submission themed pay per view doesn’t feature any of the three members of the roster who were trained in the famous Hart Family Dungeon. Hell, the Hart Dynasty can’t even get an actual match anymore. Matt Hardy seriously needs a different look. The black tights aren’t nearly as distracting as the blue ones he wore a couple of weeks ago, but they don’t fit him in any sense of the word. Ah well.
