RICARDO RODRIGUEZ DEF. BIG E. LANGSTON & ZEB COULTER – This is a Triple Threat match, with each man representing a superstar in the Triple Threat for the World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules. The winner decides the stipulation in that match.
The match is basically Big E. brutalizing Ricardo while Zeb hangs back on the apron. Whenever the tide turns, Zeb tries to get involved but only brings his opponents attention on himself, setting them up to ambush each other.
While Zeb cries about his trick knee going out to avoid a confrontation w/Big E. Ricardo tries hitting Big E. w/his bucket, to no avail.
Alberto Del Rio jumps in and takes Big E. down w/an inziguri. Ziggler takes out ADR w/the dropkick. Swagger tosses Ziggler. Big E. takes Swagger and himself out w/a clothesline. Zeb tries to pin Ricardo, but AJ tosses herself under the ref’s arm to block the count. When Zeb complains, Ricardo rolls Zeb up for the three-count.
RANDY ORTON DEF. CODY RHODES – Slow-paced back and forth battle, but w/hard hitting spots strung together. Neither man keeps control of the match longer than a minute, before their opponent takes over. Pace picks up after the break, and ends with Cody jumping off the ropes into an RKO.
After the match, Matt Striker interviews Orton about his loss at Wrestlemania, and if he’s “haunted” by being knocked out. Orton claims he’s never felt so “extreme” and RKO’s Cody again.
FUNKADATCYL NAOMI (W/CAMERON) DEF. BRIE BELLA (W/NIKKI) (REVERSED DECISION) – Before the match, we see the Bellas backstage, complaining about being shut out of the Diva Royal last week, and trashing them while plugging their new reality show on the “E” Network.
After a break, we come back to the Bellas in the ring and a promo spot for “Total Divas” on E!
The match barley goes more than a minute, with Naomi dominating until the Bellas pull the “twin magic” bit and they get the three-count w/a small package. Cameron complains to the ref who reverses the decision and awards it to Naomi. The Bellas respond to this by rushing back into the ring and beating the Funky cheerleaders down.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZGGLER (W/AJ & BIG E) DEF. U.S. CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON – Before the match, we’re told Kofi is a new father and will be defending his title against Antonio Cesaro this Wednesday on Main Event.
Big week for Kofi.
Match slowly built to a fast-paced spot-fest that got the crowd going. Kofi hits “Trouble in Paradise” but Ziggler is saved by AJ getting his foot across the ropes. (At least that’s what they went for/how they sold it.) Match ends when Kofi catapults Ziggler into the corner, goes to the second rope, and tries a flying body-press, but misses and hits the mat. Ziggler hits the “Zig-Zag” and gets the three-count.
JACK SWAGGER (W/ZEB COULTER) DEF. ZACK RYDER – Ryder tries to get the crowd going by showing a video of Zeb getting pinned by Ricardo. This gets Swagger enraged, and Zack pays the price, as Swagger unloads on him. Ryder puts up more of a fight than we’d expect, however this ends w/Ryder tapping out to the ankle lock.
After the match, Swagger holds Ziggler so Zeb can get in a shot.
ALBERTO DEL RIO (W/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ) DEF. ANTONIO CESARO – Both men use the same strategy of targeting the left arm in the beginning. Cesaro fights dirty w/hair pulling and biting, while ADR uses quickness to keep Cesaro on defense. After the break, Cesaro is in control, using his power to hold down Del Rio, and his forearm shots to get a few two-counts, while the crowd starts the “Ole!” chant. (Oddly, Ricardo tries to get one going for Del Rio.) Del Rio’s agility decides this as Cesaro misses a charge into the corner post. He tries to roll up Del Rio, but Alberto locks in the cross-arm-bar. Cesaro tries for the ropes, but can’t make it, and taps out.
After the match, Del Rio announces the stipulation for his triple threat title match at Extreme Rules. He chooses to make it a ladder match.
THE SHIELD DEF. WWE CHAMPION JOHN CENA/WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) – Match starts out as a brawl, and the faces clear the ring quickly. Kane starts off brutalizing Ambrose, who quickly tags in Reigns, who doesn’t do much better but does get Kane back into their corner. Rollins comes in, and Kane takes over. At one point, Kane teases choke-slamming the ref when he tries to get Kane to back off Rollins. Cena tags himself in and he and Bryan get Kane to calm down. Cena is in for only a few seconds before his tendon injury acts up, and he quickly tags in Bryan. Bryan and Kane carry the load in this match, and are in control until the break. We come back with Bryan in trouble as each Shield member takes turns punishing him. Bryan gets Kane back in, and Kane unleashes his fury on the Shield. Match spills to the floor and Kane takes a D.D.T. on the concrete. Kane just barley beats the ten count back in, and makes the tag to Cena. Cena come in strong, but the tendon gives out on him when he tries to AA Rollins. Reigns spears Cena, and gets a three count.
ANGLES/STORYLINES
WORLD WISH DAY: We’re told about WWE champ John Cena hurting himself on the European tour, and how he made being on RAW this night a priority. This was “World Wish Day,” and Cena had a special presentation to make.
After the break, we see Cena meeting a very sick boy named Nick on the Today Show. He meets Nick and invites him and his family to Monday Night RAW.
Cena comes out with Nick and two other kids who wanted to go to RAW. This was a promotion for the Make-a-Wish foundation and Cena reminded us all to go to wish.org/wwe to learn how we can help make wishes come true. To make it even more special, Cena decides to make the kids honorary superstars.
The first boy, Jacob, declares himself “The Eliminator.” The second, Nick, calls himself “Nick the Stitch.” And the last boy was “Lightning Logan.” Cena goads the crowd into giving the kids a big cheer, and thanks us for making this special moment even better.
WWE has granted over 5000 Make-a-Wish foundation wishes since 1982.
SHIELD/HELL NO + RYBACK/CENA: – The Shield come out to cut a promo about their success in keeping Ryback from winning the WWE title, and run down a list of everyone they’ve put down, including The Rock, the Big Show, Sheamus, and Cena.
The Shield brings up their beat-down of the Undertaker on Smackdown last Friday, mentioning how Justice doesn’t care if you’re undefeated at Wrestlemania.
“When your number gets called, justice strikes without mercy!” – @TheShieldWWE
Suddenly, 3MB, (Slater, McIntyre, Mahal,) make their entrance.
“3MB? Why?” – Jerry Lawler
Slater tells the Shield to shut up. They want payback for the Shield interrupting their beat-down of Triple H two weeks ago.
“Now, we crash YOUR party. And ROCK YOUR FACE!” – @JinderMahal
The band hits the ring, and it goes badly for them. Shield is in control, until the pyro hits. WWE tag champs team Hell No runs in and chases them off.
Backstage: Cena gets his heel taped up. Ryback comes in to comment on it. Cena notes he’s “hurt” not “injured,” and can still go.
“I’m more effective on one leg than you are on two.” – @JohnCena
Ryback says he can’t take that chance.
Later in the show, Ryback goes to RAW Managing Supervisor Vicki Gurrero (and her assistant Brad Maddox) to complain about working with a hurt partner. Vicki says she’ll pull Cena and make team Hell No Ryback’s partners. Ryback doesn’t trust either of those guys and simply says “No.”
The next time we see Ryback, it’s as he’s bailing while Matt Striker tries to interview him.
Later in the night, Maddox tells Hell No they have to fight without Ryback, fine with them. Vicki tells Maddox he has one more thing to do.
Maddox talks to Cena about the match tonight. Cena makes it clear he will be wrestling tonight.
“No, I’m hurt. YOU will be hurt bad if you don’t go tell your boss I’m fine tonight.” – @JohnCena
After the match, (see above,) Ryback is on the stage, smug and satisfied seeing Cena hurt in the ring.
AJ/KAITLIN: The “Dolph-tourage” (Copyright: Robert Rytman) is backstage, congratulating themselves on a great win over Kofi (see above.) Kaitlin and Natalya cross paths with them. They trade some harsh words until Kaitlin receives a package. It’s a hat to match her bracelet from a “secret admirer.” (It’s Hornswoggle, I know it.)
HENRY/SHEAMUS: “Worlds Strongest Man” Mark Henry is out, challenging anyone in the back to a tug of war. Brodus and “Sweet T” both took his challenge and lost. Sheamus came out to take the challenge, and faked out Henry, letting the rope go so that he fell on his ass, then gave him the brogue kick.
DANCE CHALLENGE: FANDANGO VS.KAHLI – Both men are asked about Jericho’s stint on “Dancing with the Stars.” Both men claim to be better. The crowd gives it to Khali, Fandango beats him up.
In conclusion; this was a night of perfectly good wrestling marred by a lot of stupid filler.
We begin with a video recap of the Claire & AJ and Aces & 8’s storylines.
Bully Ray heads down to the ring and pulls out his ‘Twittah machine.’ He bullie’s for a mic and asks if we know who he is. He announces that he’s the leader of the Bully Nation. He says Joseph Park taught him that if there’s enough evidence against someone, then they’re guilty. He says Storm is guilty of being involved with Aces & 8’s and tonight he will beat Storm and get his 7 points in the BFG Series. (Whatever did happen to the Joseph Parks, Bully Ray confrontation?)
Storm’s comes out.
Storm says had nothing to do with the attacks because he is more concerned with winning his title back. He draws an imaginary line in the ring and says he will give Bully to the count of 3 to do something. Bully backs out onto the apron.
They are interrupted by the masked men on the big screen and their voices have been distorted. They say they are impressed with The Insane Icon issuing them an open invitation but they are going to do it on their time.
Bully gets in the ring and accuses Storm again. They cut him off to a sudden commercial.
They re-play the Aces & 8’s video from moments ago.
Backstage, The Pope talks about his BFG Series match at Hardcore Justice 2012 this Sunday. The Pope hasn’t actually been pimping anything but the mat since his return to iMPACT and I watched The Dark Knight Rises and didn’t remember seeing him during the prison break scene.
Mr. Anderson comes out to do commentary
.
RVD vs. Magnus
Magnus clotheslines RVD over the top. Magnus follows and puts the boots to him. Magnus throws him back in and gets 2. Magnus catches RVD and slams him for another 2. RVD hits a kick to the head and springs off the ropes for another kick to the head. RVD hits a Superkick but is caught with a clothesline in the corner.
RVD hits a 5 Star Frogsplash for the win. There goes Magnus’s claim to the series and whatever came of his Xplosion championship stipulation where he can challenge the champion of any division for a title. Somebody please remember this.
7 points RVD
Bobby Roode talks backstage with Jason Hervey, and his lawyers aren’t happy with the contract so there may not be a main event at Hardcore Justice. So wouldn’t this make A Double happy seeing as how he is the Champion?
Sore Loser! and I win!!!
-Claire’s baby shower from last week
TNA Tag Team Championship: Garett Bischoff & Devon vs. Kazarian & Daniels (c)
Devon starts off with Kaz and quickly tags Garett. Kaz tags Daniels in and Garett gets 2. Devon tags back in and drops a big leg for 2. Garett tags back in and they double team Daniels. Kazarian distracts Garett from the apron and Daniels capitalizes. Kazarian tags in and gets 2. More quick tags from the champs.
Garett manages a tag to Devon who cleans house. Devon hits a Rock Bottom on Kazarian and tosses Daniels out. Devon hits a spear on Kaz and a spinebuster on Daniels. Kaz uses the belt behind the ref’s back and Daniels gets the pin.
*This is one of those matches where my dad (who looks strikingly like Devon) was watching as Daniels was struggling with Garett and looked at me and said why are we watching this its so fake. And I responded its not Devon, Daniels or Kaz’s fault blame Garett. He was still not impressed.
Winners by pin and STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: Daniels & Kazarian
-video of Sting and Brooke’s meeting from last week
Sting calls out Aces & 8’s and says he has given Brooke the night off.
Robbie E. and Robbie T. are in the ring, there is a table set-up. Robbie E. says he knows nobody thinks he’s going to win the BFG Series but he has 5 points, bro. He says he will win another 20 this Sunday, bro. He says he will do it by putting Jeff Hardy through a table. He shows footage from 3 weeks ago where he beat Hardy. Hardy’s music erupts.
Hardy gets in the ring and drops Robbie T. Robbie E. tries to back-off but Hardy slaps him and tries to put him through the table but Robbie T. attacks him from behind and powerbombs him through the table.
Backstage, AJ says he doesn’t remember anything with Claire. He says he doesn’t drink and how bad at sex does someone have to be to not remember being with them?
Samoa Joe grabs a headset and says nobody is going to stop him from winning the BFG series
Claire is at ringside again and cheers AJ as he makes his way to the ring.
BFG Series: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles
Angle gets drilled with a dropkick and goes outside. AJ slingshots over the top with a crossbody.
Kurt powers AJ into the corner and hits a belly-to-belly as Claire looks-on. Angle applies a headlock. AJ fights out but Angle hits a Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker and back to the headlock. Both men connect with simultaneous clotheslines. AJ gets the offense on the way up off the mat. Angle rebounds and hits a trifecta of Germans.
AJ counters the Angle Slam and connects with the Pele but Angle gets his shoulder up at the last second. Angle counters the Styles Clash and hits the Angle Slam for 2. AJ gets out of the Angle Lock and hits a German but Angle counters out and applies the Lock again but AJ rolls through. AJ springs off the apron and hits a flying forearm and the Styles Clash but somehow Angle kicks out.
AJ goes up top but Angle brings him down with a belly-to-belly but AJ kicks out. Angle misses with a moonsault off the ropes in the corner. AJ goes up top for a 450 but Angle gets his knees up and hits the Angle Slam.
7 points Kurt Angle
Claire congratulates AJ on his way up the ramp but he keeps walking and we get a close-up of her confused face.
Aces & 8’s are playing cards. They rundown who all has received the dead man’s hand from them. They say the next target is close and we will all find out who the next victim is.
Storm and Anderson accuse each other backstage of being behind it all.
Aries is on the phone backstage talking about Roode threatening not to sign the contract.
Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher
They go right at it before the bell rings. Kim drops Tessmacher’s throat across the top rope. Gail drops her across her knee and gets 2. Gail steps on Tessmacher’s stomach. Tessmacher mounts a comeback but is shutdown.
Tessmacher hits a flurry and a clothesline off the corner. She does a Stinkface. Tessmacher brings Gail off the top and hits a facebuster for the win.
Winner by pin: Miss Tessmacher
Earl Hebner raises Tessmacher’s arm and they talk. Madison Rayne comes out and she kisses Hebner and he falls out.
Joseph Park talks.
Aries and Roode make their way to the Impact Zone.
They show Kenny King’s win over Zema Ion from last week
Kenny King video package
Sting makes his way to the ring. A table is set-up. Sting invites Aces & 8’s to the ring. He moves on and invites Roode and Aries to the ring.
Aries displays his title and takes a seat. Roode refuses to sit down and Sting asks him what is up with his attitude. Roode asks if Sting’s stupid. He says the contract is his problem. He says the contract states that if he loses to Aries then he doesn’t get a rematch as long as Aries is champ. Roode says Sting has it out for him. Roode says if the language doesn’t change, there will be no main event this Sunday.
Aries tells him to stop whining. He says he’s worried about a rematch clause because he knows Aries has his number. Aries says they don’t need a contract, they can make a verbal agreement. He proposes that if Roode beats him then he will also forfeit his rematch clause. Sting tells them to shake on it. Each man shakes hands with Sting.
Roode takes off his coat and starts throwing things and Aries comically mocks his temper and shadows him. Roode offers his hand and Aries shakes it. Aries raises the belt and Roode throws water in his face and runs away. Aries turns the table over but Sting holds him back.
Storm and Bully make their way to the Impact Zone.
-Backstage in an interview package, Chavo says he’s here to beat the best. Kid Kash says Chavo’s a cheater.
-Kash & Gunner will face Chavo & Hernandez this Sunday at Hardcore Justice.
-Kenny King will face Zema Ion for the TNA X-Division Title.
-Miss Tessmacher will face Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title
–BFGFalls Count Anywhere Match for 20 points: RVD, Anderson, Pope, Magnus
–BFGTables Match for 20 points: Hardy, Storm, Bully, Robbie E.
–BFG Ladder Match for 20 points: Styles, Angle, Daniels, Samoa Joe
BFG Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm
Both men look behind them for Aces & 8’s. Storm hits clotheslines but is unable to take Bully off his feet. Bully hits a big boot and knocks Storm down then tosses him out.
Storm avoids an elbowdrop on the mat. Bully Ray catches him with a boot to the gut and applies a leg lock. Storm reverses it and Bully reaches the ropes. Bully hits a clothesline for 2. Bully hits punches to the head. Storm mounts a comeback with a series of rights and a neckbreaker. Back bodydrop by Storm. Bully launches Storm onto the apron but gets a kick to the back of the head. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2.
Storm fights out of a full nelson and goes up top for a cross body and gets 2. Storm comes off the top and misses with an elbowdrop. Bully hits the Bubba Bomb and gets 2. Bully misses with a back-splash off the top. Storm hits a Codebreaker but Bully avoids the Last Call. Bully hits the Bully 3D Cutter for the win.
7 points Bully Ray
Bully grabs his chain in anticipation of Aces & 8’s. He asks Storm where they are. He says send for them.
Aces & 8’s appear on the screen and they tell Bully he will see more of them at the PPV.
Egad, RAW was horrible this week. I’m not even going to bother getting into it, instead turn the page to everybody’s favorite “B” Show. So, let’s just hop into it… shall we? Oh, and if you haven’t heard, it looks like Dave Lagana has jumped from ROH to TNA. Totally unrelated, I know. (more…)
Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…
Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship
So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.
The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.
Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!
Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship
You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.
Michelle was pissed.
Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) CM Punk
I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.
1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio
There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.
Hot on the heels of Money in the Bank, the main event tonight is a Triple Threat match between Edge, Randy Orton, and Chris Jericho! But will RAW’s Mr. Money in the Bank, The United States Champion, The Miz decide that Sheamus’ WWE Championship is too much for him to ignore? And what about John Cena? How is he going to react after Nexus interfered in his match last night? All these questions will – hopefully – be answered tonight on Monday! Night! RAW! Warning, also, a lot of block paragraphs tonight. Sorry.
@Niki_Sushi So… did anyone see Sheamus last night after the match? No? Me neither. White men can’t jump, but Irish men and RUUUUUUUUUUN. #BWF
Wade is going to fight Mark Henry alone tonight, and Nexus is banned from ringside.
Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge for a chance to face WWE Champion Sheamus at SummerSlam
Randy started out with a good advantage, hammering both Edge and Jericho away, but then Jericho gets Randy in the corner and hammers away on him, only for Edge to join, and then stand back and watch. Randy fights back into control, however, getting Edge out of the ring before throwing Chris into the turnbuckle. Edge shows his stealthy side by dropping off the apron and slamming Randy’s head into the top rope. Chris beats on Randy for a little bit, then starts yelling at Edge to do the same. Jericho holds Orton while letting Edge hit him, then the two take turns beating on Orton. They both Irish Whip him and then go to double back drop him, but Orton countered with a double DDT. Jericho rolled out of the ring, and Randy went for a cover on Edge. Edge kicked out at two. Afterward, Orton purposefully stomps on Edge and wears him down. Randy goes to hit the RKO on Edge, but Edge counters and Jericho hits the Codebreaker. Jericho went for a cover, but Edge broke it apart. Edge and Jericho roll out to the outside, and we go to commercial as Edge bounces Jericho’s head off the announce table.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KiraSwaggaholic This should be the goddamn MAIN EVENT wtf
We come back to Edge and Jericho still outside the ring, and I don’t actually see Randy. Nevermind, Randy’s inside the ring, and he takes out Chris, throwing him out of the ring and into Edge. Jericho goes to get back in, but Randy goes to pull him through. Edge gets up, but manages to get out as Orton DDT’s Jericho from the rope. Randy goes for a cover, but Edge breaks it and throws Randy out. Edge rushes into the ring to cover Jericho, but Chris kicks out at two. Edge goes back to Randy, throwing him back into the ring and going for a cover. Orton kicks out at two. Edge hits Randy and panders, in Jericho’s words, to the crowd, before proceeding to attack Randy’s face. He goes to run off the ropes, but Jericho pulls him out, and bounces his head off the announce table before attacking Randy. Jericho goes for a pin, using the ropes for leverage, but Randy kicks out at two. Jericho gets Randy in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Randy manages to stand and then powers out, gaining momentum with some clotheslines. A scoop slam into a cover on Jericho, but he kicks out at two. Jericho rolls out the apron, but Randy follows. He goes to set Jericho up for a DDT again, but Edge comes in. Randy gains momentum with a back breaker, goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Randy gets Edge up and kicks him out of the ring. Randy sets Jericho up for the DDT off the ropes again, but Jericho counters and sets up the Walls of Jericho, locking them in. Randy pulls to the ropes, only for Jericho to pull him back to the center of the ring. Edge comes in and DDTs Jericho. Edge goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out. Edge goes into the corner, setting up the Spear. Jericho turns, but launches at Edge before he can Spear him, and sets him up into the Walls of Jericho. Edge makes it to the ropes, forcing Jericho to break the hold. Jericho goes to hit it again, but Edge counters into a roll up and Jericho kicks out at two. Orton tries to hit the RKO, but Edge counters and goes for the cover, for Randy to kick out at two. Edge goes to the opposite corner from before, and sets up the Spear. Edge runs for the Spear, but Jericho attacks. Jericho rolls Edge up, Edge kicks out. Edge rolls Randy up, Randy kicks out. Then, all three of them clothesline each other.
Jericho sends Edge out of the ring, and then Randy goes for the RKO, Jericho counters. Jericho goes for Lionsault, Randy moves out of the way. Randy begins pounding on the mat, and then hits the RKO on Jericho, then on Edge. He pins Edge for the victory.
Randy Orton wins via pinfall!
<COMMERCIAL>
Edge has stayed in the ring the entire commercial break, and is demanding that Chris comes back out, saying that ‘this has gone on between us for too long.’ Chris does come back out, asking what Edge’s problem is. Edge asks how many a lot and I missed about three of them. He says that it has to end right here, right now, tonight. Chris grabs a mic, after demanding it. For the first time in eleven years, they agree on something: It’s going to end tonight. Chris is the reason that Nexus has achieved what they have. If Chris just snaps his fingers, Nexus would do whatever he wanted them to. He could call Nexus out here and take years off not only his career, but his life. Edge doesn’t think that Nexus agrees, and they’d take Edge up on his offer first. Looks like Nexus is going to answer, because they’re coming out now.
Wade says they’re both veterans and Nexus would be lucky to call either of them an ally. They’ve had successful, innovative, Hall of Fame careers. But, Jericho was right. Nexus wouldn’t take years off his career, they’d end it. Nexus then attacks Edge, and Jericho’s bouncing around pretty excited. Edge is then Speared by Sheffield. Chris then puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho, with Nexus still surrounding them. Chris seems to realize where he is, because he lets Edge out, staring at Nexus.
Wade says that Edge was also right. They would really like to shut up the guy who’s claiming to be behind Nexus’ success. They surround him, and Chris attacks Barrett, clinging to him as Nexus tries to pull him off. They finally get him off and start wailing away on him. Barrett claims that Jericho didn’t teach him anything. Nexus then lifts Jericho, and Otunga takes him down.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey, at least @IAmJericho went down swinging, just like the best in the world should!
Nexus is walking backstage, and they go into the Nexus locker room. Wade is stopped by Josh Matthews, who says that there is no question he has the most powerful group in the WWE. I missed the rest of this part because I was talking to my grandmother. Sorry.
Sheamus comes up to Barrett and says he has a proposal. Wade tells him to step into his office, and Sheamus says he’d rather wait out there. Pansy ass.
John is waiting in the locker room area, and is doing an interview with Michael Cole from ringside. Cena says he didn’t shake Barrett’s hand out of foolish pride and because he thought he could stop Barrett. No one could stop Barrett. Edge and Jericho were decimated, Nexus attacked last night, and Cena can see the writing on the wall. What Cena’s saying is that tonight, he’d like to meet Wade Barrett and Nexus in the ring, because he’s got something to say. King asks why, and Cena says that they’ve cost him everything. They say that you’re either Nexus, or against us. Right now, Cena’s if you can’t beat ‘em… and he walks away.
<COMMERCIAL>
Eve Torres vs. Maryse with Ted DiBiase
Ted returns the favor tonight and accompanies Maryse to the ring. Last night, Maryse actually got in the ring and climbed the ladder. John Morrison pulled her down and put her out of the ring, by the way. Maryse takes off a ring or something and hands it to the ref. Hoshit, Ted is on commentary. Maryse trash talks Eve for a while, but Eve shoves her away. Maryse hits her back with a good slap, and then kicks her into the ropes. Ted says Maryse isn’t a gold digger. Maryse is dominating this match, flinging Eve around however she wants to. However, Eve fights back, getting Maryse down, and going for a pinfall. However, Maryse gets her foot on the rope. The ref never seems to see it. However, and Ted starts yelling at the ref. Eve rolls out of the ring and heads up the ramp.
Eve Torres wins via pinfall!
Morrison comes down and attacks Ted, hitting Starship Pain on DiBiase. Sheamus is making his way to… somewhere. I think it’s the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 I’ll admit I enjoy seeing Maryse laying on her back, but…that match could have lasted a few more minutes. Damn, no French kiss! #WWE #RAW
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus comes down to the ring and everyone wonders what it is that he could possibly have to say about or to Nexus?
Sheamus says to let the records show: He’s beaten Cena in tables, fatal four way, and a steel cage match. He beat Cena for the first time and it was called a fluke. A second time? Luck. Now that it’s the third time, and the word is dominance. What now for Cena? He’s in Sheamus’ past. He gets the back of the line and he won’t get another title shot against Sheamus anytime soon. He should have done what Sheamus did earlier tonight. He went and found Barrett, walked up to him, and said he wanted, no, demanded a truce. He explained to Barrett that one year ago, no one had ever heard of Sheamus or Nexus. But now, they’re both the two most powerful entities in the entire WWE. He explained that they don’t have to like each other, they’ll stay out of each other’s business. Barrett agreed, and as of tonight, the truce is in effect. It’s good news for Sheamus, but bad for Orton. The only way Orton can beat Sheamus is Nexus’ interference, but that’s gone now, so Orton doesn’t stand a chance. He’ll suffer the same fate as Cena. He can sit back and watch as Sheamus becomes the longest reigning champion of all time.
AWESOME!
Miz comes down with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Miz congratulates Sheamus on getting rid of the Nexus problem. Now, Sheamus has a bigger problem: A Miz problem. Sheamus doesn’t control the fate of the WWE Championship, Miz does, because he’s Mr. Money in the Bank. He can cash it in anytime he wants for a WWE Championship match. Anytime Sheamus is in that ring, Miz will be watching him. Say Sheamus beats Orton at SummerSlam, but as Sheamus gets his hand raised, Sheamus is hit with an RKO, and Miz will be there. What if Sheamus is interviewed backstage, and Miz beats him and drags him out to the ring, and beats him? Regardless of who’s champion, Miz can wait for the moment that his entire career has been leading to, to Main Event Wrestlemania! Or maybe Miz forgets about all that and cashes it in tonight. Either way, Sheamus can call Miz his celebrity stalker, because every breath he takes, every move he makes, Miz will be watching him, because he’s the Miz, and he’s awesome! Sheamus interrupts, saying he’s the WWE Champion, and Miz is nothing.
You’ve got Mail!
GM: Should The Miz want to cash in the Money in the Bank contract tonight, take a seat at ringside. Sheamus will be in action right now against this man…
You are cleared for takeoff…
WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne
Evan gets early momentum, sending Sheamus right out of the damn ring. And then, commercial.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi ‘Were there any smilie-faces at the end of that e-mail?’ The answer is yes. But Cole’s too stupid to say ‘smiley-face-smiley-face’. #BWF
We come back to Sheamus rolling back out of the ring. Sheamus shoves Evan into the apron, and they both climb back into the ring. Evan gets back with some sharp kicks, and Sheamus Irish Whips Evan, only for Evan to kick him in the face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus sends Evan into the turnbuckle, and then keeps him in the corner with some kicks and knees. Sheamus wraps Evan around the turnbuckle and pulls on him from the outside, releasing at four. Sheamus climbs back into the ring, keeping Evan down. Sheamus hammers Evan with some forearms before putting him into some weird ass submission move. Evan fights to his feet and then tries to fight back, only to get planted on the mat. Sheamus goes for the cover, but Evan kicks out at two. Sheamus pulls Evan up by his hair and shoves him right back down before going back to work on the shoulder of Evan. Evan fights out of it, and hits Sheamus with some hard kicks. Sheamus sends him into the corner and literally slaps him silly, only for Evan to kick the hell out of his head. Sheamus misses a clothesline, and Evan puts his foot in Sheamus’ jaw. Evan goes for a cover on Sheamus, but Sheamus kicks out at two. Sheamus is down, and Evan goes to the top rope. Miz is on the edge of his seat, ready, but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Evan jumps out to the outside, landing right on Sheamus. The ref starts his count. Sheamus gets back in, and Evan’s still being counted on. He gets back up to the apron, and is kicked coming in. Sheamus hits the big boot, and covers Evan for the win.
WWE Champion Sheamus wins via pinfall!
Miz applauds, almost sarcastically, at Sheamus’ victory. Miz then hits Sheamus right in the ribs with the briefcase, followed by a shot to the back. He seems to be considering cashing in, and gets Sheamus up, attempting to go for the Skull Crushing Finale, and hits it, planning Sheamus’ face on the briefcase. Miz cashes it in.
Truth runs out, and Miz climbs out, taking his briefcase back. Truth attacks Miz, as Miz tries to leave. Miz takes the briefcase and leaves. Since the bell never rang, it’s not an official match up, thus he never cashed it in, officially.
<COMMERCIAL>
@BrdWrstlngFn I can only imagine the RAW review if @MikeTheMiz wins the title right here…
–Hey! Don’t mock me!! I’m behaving!! I usually behave!! I keep it… mostly… unbiased… sometimes.
@Niki_Sushi To RAW fans, you are extremely lucky Miz didn’t win the title tonight. There would have been no review, just a Mizfit ranting on Miz. #BWF
–Hey! Nu-uh!!! I… I would have made it a very fair RAW review. DAMN YOU BOTH! … J/K. I love you both.
Miz is backstage, and Josh says that he has to be furious because R-Truth ruined it for him. Miz says that Truth just cost him the WWE Championship. He had Sheamus unconscious. Make no mistake, there will be other opportunities. He has an entire year. So whether it’s tomorrow night, or July 17th, 2011, he will take his rightful place as WWE Champion. Because he’s the Miz, and he’s AWESOME… and pissed.
Sheamus is walking backstage with an icepack over his head, and stops at the Divas, The Bellas, and Gail, who are laughing, demanding to know if they think it’s funny. He continues on, but Randy stops him. He says that it’s too bad what just happened. Having the WWE Championship makes Sheamus a target, and come SummerSlam, whether it’s Sheamus, Miz, or whoever, they will be wearing a giant bull’s eye. Randy won’t hit that bull’s eye with an arrow, spear, or bullet. He’s going to hit the bull’s eye with an RKO.
What’s Cena calling Nexus to the ring for?! We’ll find out later tonight.
<COMMERCIAL>
@IAmJHPunk Fact: Bullets, spears, and arrows hurt more than RKOs. #wwe #raw #bwf
John Morrison is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness!!
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
Honestly, I thought that Santino would be done by now… Seems they’re funny enough to keep around. Sucks that Zack is here instead of… wherever he used to be… Nevermind, he’s fine here. Anyway, Santino and Ryder start off, and I miss Ryder’s one-legged trunks. Santino’s pulling some Diva-esque moves here, and Ryder seems confused. Santino tags in Kozlov, and Ryder tags in Regal. Kozlov gets the advantage over Regal and tags in Santino, who’s almost immediately beaten up by Regal. Regal covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Regal tags in Ryder, who does something and then covers Santino, who kicks out at two. Ryder gets Santino in a headlock. Ryder keeps the advantage, going for something off the turnbuckle, but Santino moved. Santino kicks Ryder away from him and tags in Kozlov, who throws Ryder around the ring like he’s nothing. Kozlov goes for a cover, but Regal comes in, and Kozlov is up. Regal rolls out, Kozlov plants Ryder, and Kozlov tags in Santino, who does something, and then goes for the cover, and wins.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall!
Santino celebrates, and Kozlov actually manages to smile, though he doesn’t seem quite as excited as Santino. Nexus is all together in the back, talking before the Barrett v Henry match up. Remember, Nexus can’t be ringside.
<COMMERCIAL>
Wade Barrett vs. Mark Henry
I’m actually wondering what kind of a match this is gonna be… I think Mark Henry just got lucky for Money in the Bank, to be honest, but we’ll see… Hey!!! Maybe Mark will actually split Wade’s weave! … Oh, right… white Englishman. No weave… my bad.
Henry goes for Wade, but Wade climbs out of the ring. He climbs back in, and then goes to attack, Mark, but Mark head butts him right down, and Wade rolls out. The ref starts the count, and Wade climbs back in. They lock up again, and Wade hits Mark with a knee to the gut. A few good hits seem to be pissing Mark off. Each hit looks like it’s making Mark madder, until Mark just punches Wade in the head, and bounces his head off the turnbuckle. Wade’s down after a big clothesline by Mark Henry. Henry goes for a cover, but Barrett kicks out. Henry gets Barrett up and then head butts him. Wade gets up, head butts him back, and takes the lead. He focuses his attack on Henry’s knee, but is taken down with a scoop slam. Henry goes for the cover, but Barrett kicks out at two. Barrett is dragged over to the corner, and Henry gets up, but is distracted as Nexus comes down on the stage. They’re not ringside, so it doesn’t count. Barrett manages to lift Henry, but literally falls, selling it pretty well, for what it was, and covers Henry for the win.
Wade Barrett wins via pinfall!
After the match, Wade Barrett shoves Henry out of the ring. Lifting him seems to have done its damage to his back, because Barrett’s holding it. Barrett gets a mic, and calls out Cena.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Wade Barret’s gonna regret that when he shits his spine out later tonight.
Nexus is still in the ring, and I swear it looks like Slater has girl legs, and Young’s hair is actually down, instead of straight the hell up. Not bad, actually.
Tarver says that they already made one truce tonight, and they give them his word that they will at least hear him out… If he acknowledges that the Nexus run this show. If he understands that if he continues with this resistance, then they will make his life miserable for the rest of John’s “little” career. This furthers @ThinkSoJoe’s theory of Daniel Bryan running RAW, but whatever. If Cena apologizes for attacking Tarver and Young, then they may consider ending it. But it’s all on Cena.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Nexus is lined up, all nice and neat, and Cena doesn’t even get in the ring yet. He thanks them for meeting him out there. He gets in the ring and says that since Nexus arrived, he’s had two WWE Championship matches. The first, they cost him the Championship, and the second they prevented him from winning it back. Tonight, Sheamus made a truce with them, something he should have done a long time ago. He apologizes, and asks them for a truce as well. Barrett says no. He’s not interested in a truce, or an olive branch. He’s not looking for peace. He wants Cena to join Nexus. Think about it, everything he’s achieved on his own, he can achieve ten times that by joining Nexus. Face facts: Nexus is the present and the future of the WWE, and together they’re gonna be unstoppable. To be perfectly honest, this isn’t really much of a choice. He’s either Nexus, or ‘against us’. Does John wanna make history together by joining?
Cena says he can’t do it. Wade says that’s unfortunate, and it leaves Nexus with a different proposition. Either Cena can leave the ring with his tail between his legs and show the world what a coward he really is, or he can stand in the ring and Nexus will give him the most vicious beating Nexus has ever administered. Cena climbs out of the ring and walks up the ramp. He stops at the stage and says he wants to say one more thing, something he’s said time and time again. Whether he does it himself, or has help, he will take each and every one of them down. He’s walking back toward the ring. Tonight’s little peace offering was a test. They sealed their fate, because Cena has help. Ever since Nexus came and started beating people up, Cena’s been forming a team. A team that will take down Nexus at SummerSlam. They said they wanted him to join the Nexus, to make history. Tonight, Cena wants them to meet his team and realize that at SummerSlam, Nexus is history.
Cena’s Team: Edge. John Morrison. R-Truth. Khali. Chris Jericho. Bret Hart.
Cena’s Army, as Cole called them, stormed the ring, and Nexus ran.
My thoughts: Well, the Cena vs. Nexus thing is going to be interesting at SummerSlam. I like Cena, Edge, Morrison, Truth, and Jericho, but Khali? I don’t remember Khali being intimidating lately, at all. And as for Bret Hart… it could be really interesting, but it could be a complete screw up at the same time. Guess we’ll just have t see how it plays off.
We’re down to five men due to two extra eliminations last week. If they haven’t changed the rules this should actually be the final elimination of the show. We start off with a recap of last week. (more…)
We open with everyone backstage and Tiffany gets everyone’s attention. Tiffany talks about ECW going off the air but says it’s “not a bad thing, it’s a good thing. Everyone’s a free agent so use the next two weeks to impress everyone in the WWE universe and have a good time. She puts on some Mardi Gras beads and grabs a drink. When Zack Ryder questions her about this, ECW’s going off the air and she’s just going to party? “Woo Woo Woo, You know it.” (more…)
For a while now I’ve been doing the ECW Reviews. I’m pretty sure this is my first non review so check out how I’d book the WWE’s next stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. (more…)
