Hey, my Peeps! I’m back from a 2 week hiatus. I have been out of town skiing. Let’s get this thing started.
Match 1: Jillian Hall vs Kelly Kelly
Jillian comes out first and sings a Miley Cyrus song. Kelly Kelly interupts with her entrance. I don’t like diva wrestling, but Kelly Kelly has gotten better. She is still nowhere near good enough to be an in-ring performer. Why can’t WWE get women who can actually wrestle? How does TNA get women who look good, but can also wrestle? Anyways…Kelly Kelly wins with a Leg Drop to the back of Jillian’s head. Michael Cole called it the Kelly Kick. I guess we can go with that name for now. Too much time was devouted to this craptacular match.
Match 2: Shelton Benjamin vs Vance Archer
This match should not be on ECW as a top level fued for the show, so Superstars is the right venue for this one. I hate Archer’s tramp stamp too! This match is really clumsy tonight. Vance Archer is normally pretty aggressive and physical, but going into the commercial break, he really hasn’t displayed it in this match. We come back from commercial, with Archer in control. He is starting to be more dominant, but still seems slow and unsure of what to do. I’m not sure what to think of his character. The fans are really dead on the guy, but Shelton isn’t getting much pop in this match either. Josh Matthews and Byron Saxton even commented on how boring this match is by saying not to fall asleep. The clumsiness of this match is mind-boggling. It’s no wonder that Shelton Benjamin has never been pushed to the main event level. The guy can’t carry a match with a guy who is clearly low-level at this point. It wouldn’t surprise me if Archer was released during the next batch of firings. Shelton gets the win over the undefeated Vance Archer with a very anti-climactic role up pin. This match was awful.
Ask the Divas….yawn
Main Event: Chris Jericho vs Kane
Random main event match for Superstars…what else is new??? WWE has missed so many opportunities with Kane. He can be pushed to be so dominant if creative will just book him correctly. I also feel as if they have sort of ruined Chris Jericho’s persona. They have him cowarding out to everybody right now. They need to freshen him up a little bit. However, this might be the best main event we have ever had on Superstars. These two guys are Hall of Famers in my opinion. The match goes to commercial with Kane flipping over the top ropes and to the floor below. When was the last time a match didn’t go to commercial after someone went to the outside? Back from commercial and this match really picks up. It ends when Jericho cowards out of the ring and walks away for the countout.
Alrighty then…see you guys next week for another Superstars.
Hi and welcome to the first edition of Random Randomness for 2010. I hope everybody had a happy and safe New Years holiday. But even though there was holiday There was till a lot going on in the wrestling world. (more…)
Johnny Damon from your 2009 World Series Champion New York Yankees (w00t!) is the guest host tonight for Monday Night RAW! I have no idea what’s booked for tonight, but you can assume that it’ll have something to do with the Slammy Award Winning John Cena and his pursuit of the equally Slammy Award Winning WWE Champion, Sheamus. Let’s go!
Happy Hallloween to all my Peeps! Let’s get this thing started already.
Match 1: Jack Swagger vs Primo
Jack Swagger has yet to lose since he made the declaration that he would not lose for the rest of the year. The match starts off with a wrestling exhibition by Swagger. Primo’s quickness seems to trump Jack’s power, until Swagger catches him. Primo fights back with another quick burst, but Swagger’s strength proves to be too much for the younger Colon. The All-American American gets the win with the Gutwrench Powerbomb.
Ask the Divas segment….boooooooooo!
Match 2: Kelly Kelly vs Alicia Fox
Kelly Kelly is hot! Alicia Fox is not! That’s really all that is important about this match. Alicia Fox wins with the Ax Kick.
Backstage: Hart Dynasty and Mike Knox talking about their gameplan.
Match 3: Woo Woo Woo! You know it!!! Zack Ryder vs Tyler Reks
I know my buddy RDLee hates him, but Zack Ryder is a star! I originally wasn’t sold on him, but he has slowly grown on me. He is, however, wearing some God awful silver boots for this match. Tyler Reks needs to learn how to walk properly. This was a back and forth match, where both guys got in offense, but Zack Ryder wins with the Zack Attack.
Match 3: Hart Dynasty and Mike Knox vs Cryme Tyme and R-Truth
Hey WWE, segregate much??? It’s funny how the Hart Dynasty and R-Truth were hugging on Sunday, now they hate each other again. Oh how brand warfare unites. Kidd and JTG start things off. Very even matchup until Knox gets the tag. Knox then comes in and overpowers JTG. JTG makes the tag to Shad and things even back up. Knox tosses Shad to the outside, as they go to commercial. When the match comes back on the air, Shad is fighting back and Knox makes the tag to David Hart Smith. DH tags in Kidd for a quick kick to the back and Kidd tags in Knox for a back splash. Shad makes the tag to Truth and Knox tags in Kidd. Truth handles his business until Knox lands a big boot. JTG clotheslines Knox over the ropes, DH gets the big boot on JTG and Truth tosses DH over the ropes. Truth hits the Lie Detector for the win over Tyson Kidd. WHATS UP?!?!
Have a safe Halloween and I’ll see you next week. Peace!
Apparently, e-mails from my phone are very selective as to whom they will go out to. I did try to give Drow some live notes from the show, including Superstars and dark match reviews. I’m going to give you guys a quick rundown tonight, but I will most definitely be posting a hell of a lot more stuff tomorrow.
WWE Superstars tapings: Jack Swagger defeated Primo and Alicia Fox defeated Kelly Kelly.
There is going to be a new theme song for RAW next week. It’s “Burn It To The Ground” by Nickelback. They had us chant “HEY” during the song for the new open.
The dark main pit John Cena, DX, and Kofi Kingston against Legacy and The Big Show. The faces won when everybody bailed on Orton, allowing him to take all four faces’ finishers.
I’m gonna watch the show on my DVR and I’ll give you guys more thoughts on it as I go along, but I wanted to get these out to you tonight.
This is going to be a quick post, since I haven’t actually seen most of the PPV. We’re looking for somebody to cover the WWE Pay-Per-View events starting with Survivor Series next month, so if you’re interested, let us know on Twitter or Facebook or Myspace or wherever.
Anyways…
The Miz def. John Morrison
RAW leads 1-0
Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, and Natalya def. Melina, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly
We’re now tied at 1
The Undertaker def. Batista, Rey Mysterio, & CM Punk to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
After the match, Batista destroyed Rey Mysterio
Team SmackDown def. Team RAW
The Big Show turned on RAW, chokeslamming Kofi Kingston and allowing Jericho to pick up the win.
John Cena def. Randy Orton 6 – 5
This match was far better than I’d expected – at least, what I saw of it. Orton tried everything to keep Cena down, including trying to blow him up in the pyro, but Cena wouldn’t stay down. At one point, the doctors superglued a cut on Cena’s forehead to close up the wound. Somewhere, Sabu is laughing his ass off. In any event, with the score tied at 5, Cena locked in the STF and got the tapout with just five seconds remaining. From what I understand, the clock kept running despite the fact that there should have been a 30 second rest period as there was through the duration of the rest of the match. Ah well. Guess I’ll be seeing Cena in Buffalo tomorrow night after all.
That’s it for tonight, folks. Join us tomorrow as our Empress of Impact, Drowgoddess, becomes our Reina of RAW! I’ll have photos and thoughts from the HSBC Arena sometime after the event, so stay tuned for that as well.
What’s up, my Peeps?! Hope all is well in your world. I’m back following an absence last week…sorry. While I may be a tad tardy to the party this week, this review is getting done. And here…we…go!
Match 1: Kelly Kelly vs Gail Kim
I think everybody knows how I feel about diva wrestling by now. Thus, you just get the results here. Kelly Kelly defeats Gail Kim. I think Gail turns on Sunday. Raw needs another heel diva.
Match 2: Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov vs Tommy Dreamer and Golddust
I like Big Zeke and Golddust, but could care less about the other two. The finish sees Dreamer hit Kozlov from behind and Golddust hits the Flatline for the win. After the match, Jackson and Kozlov attack Tommy and the Bizzarre One. Zeke is a future World Champ IMO!
Main Event: Matt Hardy and R-Truth vs Drew McIntyre and Eric Escobar
Matt looks really fat in those tights that he insists on wearing to the ring every week. R-Truth should be an IC title contender. Drew McIntyre is pure gold. Eric Escobar IS fat. McIntyre hits Hardy with his DDT for the win. They are intent on pushing their young talent on Smackdown…catch a hint RAW!
I hate Diva wrestling. Beth Phoenix wins. This match got way too much time.
Match 2: Shelton Benjamin vs Tyler Reks
Is Shelton a babyface or heel right now? They need to make up their mind with that. Tyler Reks blows choad. He walks like he just took it up the butt right before coming to the ring. Shelton hits Paydirt for the win.
Match 3: Charlie Haas vs R-Truth
Holy Crap! There’s been an R-Truth sighting!!! Where has this guy been? He must have been skippin’ and jumpin’ to the wrong cities and arenas. I think Haas will be future endeavored soon. Truth wins with the Lie Detector.
Main Event: Mizzark Henry vs The Masterpiece Chris Masters
Masters seems to have used his hiatus from WWE to get back on the roids to beef up a little more. I like the Masterpiece. He’s a guy that could be the next Batista ( in terms of popularity) if they use him right. Big Mark looks like Koolaid in that red. Mark Henry gets the win via countout, as Masters walks away from the ring.
Ok. It looks like Superstars has finally become what it was intended to be, as all the time went to the midcarders. Check me out again next week, as more midcarders get TV exposure without getting crapped on by HHH or John Cena…maybe.
It seems that Joe wants the week off, and with my power due to go off at any minute. I’m doing Real-Time this week, for the second week in three.
Stay tuned to BWF, as I watch NCIS.
The search for HBK is on! My guess is, he’s in a bar having a few brewskis. I know it’s never going to happen, but come on WWE, swerve us will you?
This RAW is from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Where a certain someone was born to wrestle, and bred to win. All rise for the playing of the Canadian National Anthem.
Randy Orton starts us off. He’s been hearing rumours, apparently. Were they rumours, or the Voices in your head Randy? My namesake goes on about how it’s no rumour that he’s gonna beat John Cena at Summerslam, and that seemed to be the lightbulb in the head of the challenger, as Cena comes out. Cena wants Orton to bully him, that right there proves that John Cena is not a ladies man. Johnny boy gets up close and personal with the son of Cowboy Bob, and this brings out JeriShow, with the single worst entrance music in the history of entrance music.
Show finds it amusing that Cena and Orton are up close and personal with each other. Show speaks, but there’s a Canadian in the ring, so the crowd chant for Jericho. Cena makes a Shaq joke, then asks why have the Tag Team champions made their presence. Jericho plugs Canada, then tells Cena he’s got a one-on-one match against him. Randy gets his two bobs in, but Big Show cuts him off, telling RKO that its gonna be Show and Orton one-on-one.
The Sarge sounds like he needs a cough drop to soothe that throat. This brings us to commercial.
Ooh look, there’s a vote. Who did the Sarge beat for the WWE Championship? Savage, Hogan or Warrior. Shouldn’t the question be, which one will be the first to appear on WWE RAW?
MATCH#1: Four-Way Divas – Winner gets a Divas Title shot
Kelly Kelly vs Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim vs Beth Phoenix
If you want to find out what actually happens, in this match, find someone who cares about the WWE Women’s division, I’m off to get food.
As I return from not paying attention to the match. I hear Cole describe Kim as ‘elastic-like’, and I hear more grunting than Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. You’ve gotta love it don’t you? It has appeared for weeks that Beth Phoenix will face Mickie James for the belt, and yet …
YOUR WINNER: Gail Kim
It’s the first ever TNA KnockOuts champion who gets the victory.
Out comes Slaughter to pretty much zero reaction from the crowd. He starts off by sucking up to Canada, and saluting the C anadian flag? Has the Sarge turned on the U.S. for the second time in his career? Of course not. Sarge turns on his newly made friends, by saying if it wasn’t for the U.S., they would be speaking Russian and French now. Infact, most of them speak French. Now Sarge wants Canadians to pay respect to the United States. Looks like Slaughter’s playing bad guy tonight.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, and a recap of Triple H announcing he’s reforming DX for SummerSlam, and how trips travelled to Texas to find him. Yip.
MATCH#2: Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne
The rubber match between the two. This match will go no longer than five minutes. I guarantee it.
Swagger uses his power advantage early on, until Bourne uses his speed advantage to control the match. Swagger with a submission hold, but Bourne escapes and attack with some kicks, ending with a near fall. Swagger looks for the powerbomb, but Evan counters into a roll-up for a near fall. Swagger introduces his opponent to the turnbuckle as hard as he possibly can, and one Gutwrench Powerbomb later, and Dusty Rhodes gets the pin.
YOUR WINNER: Jack Swagger.
Told you the match would be quick. Swagger on the mic, and after he talks. Here comes MVP. He doesn’t care that Dusty is a 2-time All-American, the Canadians don’t care. Nobody cares. MVP challenges Swagger to a match tonight. Swagger wants it next week, but MVP isnt happy and pushes Swagger out of the ring.
Don’t forget. Orton vs Show, Jericho vs Cena and the hunt for the Christian. Still to come.
COMMERCIAL
Back, and we’re hunting Christians. H hits on a guy, and scores. A little girl wants a hamburger, and it’s Texas Chef HBK. H is shocked. I think it’s lame-i-fied.
Here comes the Sarge again. He has bought us Celine Dion to sing the Canadian National Anthem. That’s a lie, as it’s really Jillian. I’d prefer Jillian to Celine Dion.
COMMERCIAL
Why is Vince plugging Monk?
Back from commercial, and it’s a contract on a pole match? Vince Russo IS writing for the WWE.
MATCH#3: Contract on a Pole
Eugene vs Calgary Kid
Eugene channels his inner Rock, and hits the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow, but that doesnt affect the Calgary Kid. Calgary Kid knocks Eugene off the ropes and grabs the contract.
YOUR WINNER: Calg…
Wait a minute, that isn’t the Calgary Kid. He just hit the Stroke!
YOUR WINNER: Jeff Jarr..
Wait a minute, that’s not the Chosen One, it’s …
YOUR WINNER: The Miz
The Miz is back on RAW, so what was the point of last week?
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with the Rewind, Show beating the hell out of Kofi last week.
MATCH#4: Randy Orton vs the Big Show
Big Show has been borrowing John Tenta’s ring attire.
Show gets up close and personal to Orton, but Randy backs away. Maybe Orton only likes it when it’s Cena close to him. Randy Orton has had a grand total of zero offence so far in this match. I’ve been in and out during this match, so I have missed sections. I get back to see RKO looking for just that, the RKO, but Show blocks it. Show connects with the Chokeslam, but Orton is too close to the ropes, and gets his foot on the rope, when Show goes for the fall. Big Show goes for the fist, but Orton ducks under and heads out of the ring, and deliberately gets counted out.
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: Big Show
Hunting for Christians Part Two
Shawn gets tater tots thrown in his face. Also, he can’t cook. When I worked in the food industry, I never burned the grill like that. I only saw someone smash a light globe into the fry vats.
COMMERCIAL
Another pointless Did You Know? from the folks at WWE.
MATCH#5: MVP vs Chris Masters
MVP doesn’t get to fight Swagger, instead he gets the Masterpiece.
Masters with the assualt on MVP in the early going. He continues the advantage until he applies a chinlock-type hold, then MVP gets the momentum. MVP’s jumpsuit is as bright as Mark Henry’s costume last week. Masters goes for the Masterlock, but MVP counters into the Playmaker!!
YOUR WINNER: MVP
Enter the Swagger. The All-American American causes a long enough distraction for the Masterlock to be applied. Once that’s done, Swagger hits his Powerbomb.
A pop for Piven and Dr. Ken and their publicity run last week.
COMMERCIAL: They love these during a broadcast, don’t they?
Back again, and it’s time for …
Hunting for Christians, Part Three
Shawn’s hired Hunter to help him flip burgers. Shawn Sweet Chins his boss. An old lady tells me to suck it, and Shawn Sweet Chin’s a little girl.
Enter the Sarge yet again, and he cues the music of the Hitman. But no, it’s not Bret Hart, it’s Jim Duggan, complete with American flag.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, with the Slam of the Week. Mark Henry vs Chavo Guerrero from last week.
MATCH#6: Hornswoggle and Mark Henry vs ??
Chavo was meant to be competing, but he is ‘injured’, so he calls on Legacy to take his place.
Henry gets the upper hand, before Legacy start the dissecting. However, that is short lives, as Henry regains control. World’s Strongest Slam on DiBiase, the tag to Hornswoggle for the Splash, but DiBiase gets out of the way and Cody takes out Henry. One Dream Street later, and it’s bye bye to the Woggle.
YOUR WINNERS: Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.
After the match, Legacy grab mics and book themselves to do the J.O.B to DX at SummerSlam.
We’re back with a rundowm of the SummerSlam card, then Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho. Jericho says he’s winning for Calgary, then Show arrives. BIg Show bitches about how Orton ran off on him, Jericho bags out Calgary. Matthews tells Jericho the cameras are still rolling. Jericho feels like a tool.
COMMERCIAL
Next week’s RAW Guest Host. Former WWE writer, Freddie Prinze Jr.
MAIN EVENT: Chris Jericho vs John Cena
Cena gains the early momentum, until Jericho takes over. Cena ends up outside the ring, where Y2J introduces him to the ring steps. Jericho then applies a Camel Clutch, just because Sarge is guest host. Back in the ring, and Cena somehow gains control. He looks for the shuffle, but Jericho rolls him up for the two. Jericho misses with the Lionsault, but doesn’t with the Walls attempt. Cena counters into the STF, but Orton comes and breaks it up before the Ayatollah of Rock ‘n Rollah can tap, causing the DQ.
YOUR WINNER BY DQ: John Cena
Cena gets in Orton’s face, but eats a CodeBreaker from Jericho. Jericho shoves Orton, so Jericho gets knocked down. Enter Show. Chokeslam to Orton. Sarge comes out and announces JeriShow vs Cena and Orton for next week, as we end.
There, even though the servers for BWF crashed during this broadcast, I did my best to bring you the action.
Admittedly, I’m not really looking forward to a commercial free RAW, but at least it’s being presented by my hero, Donald Trump, the “new owner” of RAW. Triple H will challenge Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship tonight as well, and it’s starting as I type this, so let’s go!
