We open with bizarre audio technical difficulties that make it sound as if, in addition to heavy static, everyone in the Front Line locker room has the voice of Invader Zim. The problem is corrected before Brother Ray gets too far into his troop-rallying promo, however. He tells the assemblage of Front Liners that they need to now stand up for themselves, and that the Main Event Mafia represents everything that they don’t want to become. The new revolution is starting tonight, and they need to do it for themselves, for the business, and for the people (the fans, one presumes) who pay their checks. Everyone is pumped and leaves the locker room with victory on the brain!
Oh, forget it. This week is less of a review and more of a rant. I’m quite well aware that no one in a position of power in TNA reads this column on this site. I’m quite well aware that if they did, the things written here would mean absolutely nothing to any of them. I’m also quite well aware that business as usual will continue until the company dies and all in it are forced to seek other employment, mostly to no avail. All the same, on this Thanksgiving holiday, the so-called creative team and the powers-that-be of TNA should be giving most profuse thanks that my access to multiple large-caliber weapons and 55-gallon drums of chloroform are limited by a low-paying career in public education. (If anyone considers that statement to be a legitimate threat of violence, calm down. It’s a literary device, nothing more. That I must point that out is beyond sad.) (more…)
Well folks, as announced yesterday, from now on you’ll be getting DVR reviews of all the WWE shows from yours truly, as my shift at work has changed to 3-11. We’re kicking things off with the post Survivor Series RAW, where John Cena is our new World Heavyweight Champion!
Your Empress of “Impact” is back for another week’s thoughts on TNA. And there was much rejoicing!
We open with the Main Event Mafia and the casket representing Christian Cage and his career. Kurt HHHAngle spews on about how Christian wouldn’t commit to the TNA family, and had been in negotiations with WWE, so he had to be taken out. And Kurt Angle, as well as the rest of the Main Event Mafia, cares so much about TNA as a company since when, precisely? The MEM could actually get over as heels if the faces would seriously call them out on their bovine fertilizer promos, and do so in a way that made sense. Aside from losing matches and constantly being beaten down, the TNA Originals are almost completely muzzled on the mic. At the very least, the one battle the young guys should always win is the battle of words.
Your Empress of “Impact” has chosen to follow in the footsteps of the greatness that is JT (in honor of his and ThinkSoJoe’s birthdays tonight), and do a thoughts piece as opposed to a detailed review. Tonight’s episode of “Impact” provoked the following:
Wassupwiddit? The Empress of “Impact” is here, with boredwrestingfan.com’s review of TNA’s November ppv offering, “Turning Point.” Better late than never, right? Will Samoa Joe cripple Kevin Nash more than Nash himself already has? Will AJ Styles cut Sting’s World title reign short? Will the Motor City Machine Guns finally make their mark on the Tag Team division with a title victory? Does anyone actually care about Rhino and Sheik Abdul Bashir? In the words of JT and ThinkSo Joe, let’s cross the line, people!
TNA “Impact” Review (11/6/08) and “Turning Point” PPV Predictions
Greetings all, and welcome to the first of many TNA “Impact” reviews for boredwrestlingfan.com! Actually, it just looked bad not to have our own reviews posted…. In any case, as my hero Spider Jerusalem put it, “journalism is for the madly passionate,” and no review posted under the category of “Drowgoddess” makes the slightest pretext of being impartial and unbiased. Really, what fun would that be? Now that we’re all clear on that point, away we go!
Well, after successfully predicting No Mercy earlier this month, I thought I’d give TNA predictions a shot. I don’t expect them to be super accurate, because you never can tell what these TNA bookers are going to do…
TNA Championship: Samoa Joe (C) vs. Sting
Joe is gonna kill you… With the “no rematch” stipulation added this past Thursday on iMPACT, I don’t really expect to see Sting winning this – Joe’s just not ready to be pushed out of the main event.
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett (Special Enforcer Mick Foley)
I don’t think we’ll see Angle win unless Foley turns on Jarrett. Since he’s new on the scene, I don’t know if I see that happening – but at the same time, I can’t see why Foley would be on the side of the young guys in this whole “respect” thing. Unless something drastic happens though, I’m taking Jarrett in this one.
Monster’s Ball Match for the World Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. (C) vs. LAX vs. Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss
Quite frankly, I can see any of the four winning. I expect to see Beer Money get their asses handed to them, but somehow manage to retain their titles.
The Steel Asylum Match
Not sure who’s going to be in this match, but if they found somebody to replace Kaz in the role, I wouldn’t be surprised if Suicide debuts tonight and wins the match. If not, I’m not sure who would be in this match, let alone who might win.
TNA Knockouts Championship: Taylor Wilde (C) vs. Roxxi vs. Awesome Kong
Given recent events, where Taylor Wilde’s been feuding with The Beautiful People, and Roxxi’s been getting over on Kong, I’m going to give the nod, and JohnnyCraze if you’re reading this, remember that this is only a prediction, to Roxxi.
Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles vs. Booker T
I have no idea where they’re headed with this one. Let’s say Cage.
X-Division Championship: Shiek Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed
I can’t stand the Bashir character. That said, he’ll probably retain.
I won’t be around for the PPV tonight, but if you’re watching it, enjoy!
