“Smackdown” 12/25/09
Leave a CommentContrary to popular belief, I did not skip out on you guys for two weeks in a row. (more…)
Contrary to popular belief, I did not skip out on you guys for two weeks in a row. (more…)
Well it’s Sunday so that can be only one thing, some Random Randomness. So without any further ado, let’s get this show on the road: (more…)
Sorry I’m late! (more…)
This won’t be as detailed a report as a problem with my computer cost me the early review of the Shelton Benjamin/Zack Ryder match.
(more…)
World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho (Triple Threat Match):
JT: Jericho over Undertaker & Big Show
Drowgoddess: Undertaker wins. Either Jericho or Show will cost the other the win, and they’ll continue to fall apart as a tag team. Taker’s not losing anything at this point.
ThinkSoJoE: I think we all know who’s prying that belt from the cold, dead hands of The Undertaker – and it’s not Chris Jericho or The Big Show. Somebody had a feud over the World Heavyweight Championship with The Undertaker that never had a proper finish, and he just turned heel. Expect ‘Taker to walk out with the gold in tact.
Rey Mysterio vs. Batista
JT: Batista eats Mysterio then gets injured
Drowgoddess: Batista wins. ‘Nuff said.
ThinkSoJoE: I don’t think it’s so much a question of who is going to win, but more of if this match is going to live up to the buildup. Batista made Rey sign a hold-harmless agreement – Since I’m pretty confident The Animal is taking this one, he’d better leave Mysterio half dead in the center of the ring.
Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, & Christian) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr. , CM Punk, & William Regal) :Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match:
JT: Team Orton over Team Kingston
Drowgoddess: This is a tough call. I really don’t care about the teams as a whole, but I’m a tremendous fan of both Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. I’m essentially chosing between them. I’ll go with Team Kofi to win, as Punk has not been the same since his World title loss to Undertaker. Neither he nor the team of which he is a part will win here.
ThinkSoJoE: Randy Orton’s got a reputation to uphold. He’s been the sole survivor a few times at the Survivor Series, so I’m kind of leaning towards that happening here. Orton will stand alone and still manage to win.
Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, & Finlay) vs. Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger) : Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match
JT: Team Morrison over Team Miz
Drowgoddess: Why is this ppv sounding so much like the “Twilight” movies? Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team This, Team That. At least these guys don’t sparkle in sunlight. With the possible exception of Sheamus. Like anyone’s going to tell him! In any case, despite the level of fandom I have for both Morrison and Bourne, I’m going with Team Miz to win here. Sheamus and McIntyre are absolute BEASTS, Swagger and Ziggler can play the technical game, and The Miz is simply awesome.
ThinkSoJoE: Miz beat Morrison at Bragging Rights – Morrison should get his revenge here. The way I see it, Morrison can pin The Miz here, and then maybe they run into – and eliminate – each other at the Royal Rumble setting up a WrestleMania match. For what it’s worth, I also see Team Miz imploding and costing themselves the match.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels (Triple Threat Match)
JT: Cena over D-X, yeah I said it.
Drowgoddess: *YAWN* I so don’t care. Honestly, I’m not being smarky, I sincerely don’t care the slightest little bit about this match or who wins it. Considering what I predicted in the World title 3-way above, HBK steals a win from underneath HHH, and the DX split takes front and center.
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going to get heat for this, I know it – but Shawn Michaels is the best professional wrestler in the world today. It’s been years since HBK had a title run, and I’d love to see it happen here, but since this match was just randomly thrown together by two guys who turn left for a living and a leprechaun, I’m fully expecting Cena to win.
Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, & Layla) :Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match
JT: F@^& the Divas Match
Drowgoddess: Another yawner for me, since I have no interest in nailing any of these women. I love Beth Phoenix, and she’s so much better than this, but I’m choosing Team Mickie. Mickie, Gail Kim, and, to a lesser extent, Melina, can actually wrestle. Plus, I live for the day that Michelle McCool gets hit by an 18-wheeler hauling toxic waste. Don’t mistake that for heel heat. She’s not that good. It’s “get off my tv and out of my world” heat.
ThinkSoJoE: So wait, let me see if I’ve got this right. Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Layla all got into this match, but Natalya, one of the few women on the roster who can actually wrestle, didn’t? Who books this crap? My prediction is half the audience gets up and goes to use the restroom during this one.
I am back from my one week absence. Sorry about that, my loyal readers, but my family was in town last weekend and I couldn’t find the time to sit down and write my thoughts on last weeks episode. With that said…let’s get retarted in here.
Match 1: Fatt Lardy er…Matt Hardy vs David Hart Smith
I’m not sure if Matt can slap a tornado, but by the looks of things lately, he can probably belly bump one. This match is very technical at the beginning. Not to offend anybody…and I sure as hell don’t need GLAAD on my ass…but David Hart Smith looks extremely gay in the pink camo…Matt kinda does too in his purple footie pajamas. I will say this about DH, however…he is really good with his move set, but he seems to get lost out there at times and doesn’t quite know what to do. Matt Hardy actually lands a Moonsault, that didn’t quite land, but at least he did it. Tyson Kidd jumps on the mat to distract Matt and DH lands a big boot. The ref attempts to send Natalya and Tyson Kidd to the back, and Matt rolls Smith up for the 3-count. This match was pretty good. It got a little slow at times, as David Hart Smith seemed to be searching for moves.
Ask the Divas segment…who cares?!
Match 2: Zack Ryder w/Rosa Mendes vs Shelton Benjamin
This match is very athletic. Shelton has the exact opposite problem of DH Smith. He seems to go to fast at times, which causes him to botch some of his moves. I think they could have found someone hotter to accompany Zack Ryder to the ring, but that’s not a big deal I guess. Ryder’s Flying Leg Larriot is awesome. He will be a future midcard title holder…I don’t see much else from him at this point and time, but maybe. As the action spills to the outside, Rosa goes to check on Zack. Ryder doesn’t pay attention to the count and loses by countout. Shelton hits Pay Dirt when Ryder re-enters the ring for good measure.
Video package for Sheamus. I definitely like that guy! He’s gonna be a STAR!!!!
Josh Matthews interviews Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They talk some smack about MVP and Mark Henry. It was a good carryover from Monday.
Main Event: MVP vs Ted DiBiase
It’s time to give the ball to MVP and DiBiase. I think everybody is tired of seeing Cena, Orton, and HHH in the title hunt every month. I guess the creative team on RAW just doesn’t get it though. That’s why Smackdown and ECW are the shows to watch right now. This match was dominated by TD2 for the most part, but MVP gets the comeback victory with a rollup. This match was nice and physical as both guys have mean streaks.
That’s it for this week. Check me out next week for another review of WWE Superstars. Remember to check back in for the Smackdown review tonight.
What’s up, my Peeps?! Hope all is well in your world. I’m back following an absence last week…sorry. While I may be a tad tardy to the party this week, this review is getting done. And here…we…go!
Match 1: Kelly Kelly vs Gail Kim
I think everybody knows how I feel about diva wrestling by now. Thus, you just get the results here. Kelly Kelly defeats Gail Kim. I think Gail turns on Sunday. Raw needs another heel diva.
Match 2: Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov vs Tommy Dreamer and Golddust
I like Big Zeke and Golddust, but could care less about the other two. The finish sees Dreamer hit Kozlov from behind and Golddust hits the Flatline for the win. After the match, Jackson and Kozlov attack Tommy and the Bizzarre One. Zeke is a future World Champ IMO!
Main Event: Matt Hardy and R-Truth vs Drew McIntyre and Eric Escobar
Matt looks really fat in those tights that he insists on wearing to the ring every week. R-Truth should be an IC title contender. Drew McIntyre is pure gold. Eric Escobar IS fat. McIntyre hits Hardy with his DDT for the win. They are intent on pushing their young talent on Smackdown…catch a hint RAW!
That’s it for this week everybody. Peace!!!
I watched SmackDown, but I was eating at the time and didn’t feel like actually reviewing the show. So, to keep up with things this week, I’m going to do a recap/thoughts column on the show. Hope you enjoy it!
In ring segment: Teddy Long says that John Cena is more than welcome to join SmackDown if he should lose at Bragging Rights. CM Punk comes out and demands a submission match against The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Long at ringside at the PPV. Long says he can’t do that. Before he gets a chance to announce his plans, Mr. McMahon steals his thunder and announces that Long was planning a fatal four way pitting The Undertaker against CM Punk, Batista, and Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship at Bragging Rights.
Match #1: Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho following a 619.
Word Up: This week’s word is Eve, because she’s next.
Match #2: Michelle McCool def. Eve.
Backstage segment: Teddy Long enters his office to find Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar. Vickie says that The Undertaker is going to be furious and that Punk should’ve gotten a one on one rematch.
Match #3: John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler in an Intercontinental Championship match. Ziggler set a chair at ringside, but Maria took it and sat on it before he could use it, leading Morrison to use the distraction to pick up the victory.
Backstage segment: Dolph tells Maria that he sees bright lights in his professional future, but he doesn’t see her in his personal future.
Match #4: Drew McIntyre & Kane def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy. For the love of not seeing your underwear every week, Matt, please go back to regular pants!
Backstage segment: Rey Mysterio and Batista agree that the best man should win at Bragging Rights.
Match #5: CM Punk def. Batista via count out.
My thoughts: If the rumors are true that Punk is in the WWE doghouse for not dressing in a suit when it doesn’t fit his gimmick, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. The Undertaker does NOT need the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s a legend, and a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame the moment he retires. Batista gets injured every time he wins a major championship, and Mysterio hasn’t done much of anything lately to indicate that he’d have a successful run with the title.
Dolph Ziggler either needs to win the title, or move on from trying to win it. I like Ziggler, I like Morrison, I don’t mind them feuding, but it should’ve been Ziggler who picked up the title from Rey Mysterio in the first place.
And Matt Hardy. I’m begging you Matt, go back to pants. The tights look terrible on you, they’re just not your style. And yes, I will say this every week in my SmackDown reviews.
10 days until Hell in a Cell. That means 2 more Superstars to review. Lets get the first one out of the way.
Match 1: The Masterpiece Chris Master vs Primo Colon
Its time to start pushing Chris Masters into something big. This guy is huge! Primo is a very good inhancement talent. Masters should not be losing to Primo, but I understand that Primo can’t job every week and needs some credibility for himself. Primo wins this with a quick roll up. This is fine with me, as Masters was not made to look weak in the loss. Primo is always fun to watch and he has so much more talent than Carlito, but I still see Carlito as having more to offer. Go figure.
Match 2: Goldust vs William Regal
Lord Regal’s court follows him to the ring in this one. Big Zeke is a star! Kozlov not so much, but he is ginormous too. Should Goldust still be called Goldust if his ring attire is more black than gold? Goldust wins this one via DQ. Kozlov and Ezekial Jackson help Regal dismantle Goldust. Christian, Tommy Dreamer and Yoshi Tatsu rush to the ring to save the Golden one.
Match 3: Michelle McCool and Layla vs Maria and Melina
If you have missed it, over the last few weeks Maria and Melina have been on the outs, as Maria thinks Melina has been trying to sabotage her relationship with Mr. Ziggles. Early on, Maria and Melina seem to be on the same page. Michelle McCool hits a big boot to Maria’s face and Layla gets the pin. After the match, Maria wants nothing to do with Melina. This proves that good booking and creative writing can make women’s matches interesting.
Ask the divas segment. Who cares?!
Main Event: Matt Hardy vs Kane
Matt just doesn’t do it for me at all. He is out of shape, doesn’t speak well, and can’t do the things he used to be able to. Kane, however, should be a main event heel on Smackdown right now, but the fans will always love him too. Why are the fans behind Matt so much? Is it because he is Jeff’s brother? He certainly isn’t exciting to watch or listen to anymore. Matt wins via DQ as Kane straddles Matt on the ropes several times and then delivers a Chokeslam for good measure. Even after leaving Matt in a heaping pile in the ring, the fans still popped for Kane as he left the ring.
Thanks for checking out the review this week. Join me next week as I will also give my HIAC predictions.
We’re not wasting any time – the bell tolls and The Undertaker is heading towards the ring!
He says that the sands of time have fallen slowly through the hourglass, but in two days, he’ll reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship and once again cast his shadow of darkness over SmackDown. He’s sure by now CM Punk is growing very tired. By now, he’s constantly waking up in the middle of the night in a puddle of his own sweat, consumed by fear, knowing that his Breaking Point will be realized when he feels the grip of Hell’s Gate. Submission is the only alternative to an eternity of pain. When Punk submits, and he will submit, not only will he relinquish the World Heavyweight Championship, but he will personally hand Undertaker his soul, and thus the symphony of lies shall end.
The World Heavyweight Champion has heard enough, and he comes out on the stage, microphone in hand. He says that he sees through the smoke and mirrors, and sees Undertaker for what he really is. While Jeff Hardy was a charismatic enabler, Undertaker is so much worse. He’s prayed on these people’s chemically influenced minds for nearly 20 years. He’s like this generations Alice in Wonderland. He’s created a self destructive cycle because all of these people actually believe in The Undertaker. They believe he’s got magical powers that allow him to come back and vanquish any foe. They believe, get this, that The Undertaker has a chance of taking the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday. What they don’t realize is that Punk is stronger than the Undertaker’s previous victims. He’s not after Undertaker’s soul, he just wants to make him tap out. Imagine the reaction when Taker does tap out? They just lost Jeff Hardy, and now they’ll watch The Undertaker submit to the Anaconda Vice. They’ll go and get drunk, pop some pain pills, just to numb themselves from the reality that their hero tapped out. We’ll get a glimpse of it tonight when Punk makes Matt Hardy tap out to the Anaconda Vice. He asks The Undertaker not to interfere, because he wants everybody to get a glimpse of the world we’ll all live in after he makes Undertaker tap at Breaking Point. There will only be one icon, the choice of a new generation, the only straight edge World Champion in history, CM Punk. They’ll all be forced to join Punk and just say no. Taker says Punk got something wrong. They won’t be saying just say no, they will say rest in peace.
Up next, it’s a Belfast Brawl pitting Finlay against Mike Knox
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Last week, Finlay pinned Knox after a shillelagh shot.
This week, the fighting Irishman faces Knox in a Belfast Brawl.
Finlay def. Mike Knox
Knox is kinda doing this smart guy gimmick, which is cool. It kinda reminds me of Raven a little bit, though I don’t believe that Knox is actually a member of MENSA. Anyways, speaking of the original ECW, matches like this make me miss it. Sure, it’s more brutal than the normal WWE match, but it’s got none of ECW’s hardcore heart. Steel chairs and trash cans are the traditional WWE weapons, and they’re put to good use here, mostly by Knox. Knox breaks out another WWE staple, at least since the Dudleys came over from ECW a decade ago, the table. Before anybody actually goes through the table, Finlay gets to his shillelagh and knocks Knox cold for the three count.
Backstage, Michelle runs into Dolph Ziggler, who is looking for Maria. Maria’s nowhere to be found, and Michelle wants to know what he sees in a ditzy little girl like Maria when he could be with a sexy woman like her. She falls and starts groping him while Layla snaps a picture with her cell phone.
Later on tonight, it’s CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Monday: The Price is RAW!
David Hart Smith is accompanied by Natalya and Tyson Kidd for singles competition. He’s not the only one accompanied by family – Ranjin Singh is with his big brother, Smith’s opponent, The Great Khali.
This one never gets started, as Kane attacked Khali as soon as he got in the ring. He grabs another WWE signature weapon (that was stolen from ECW), the Singapore Cane, but before he could use it, Khali turned the tide and dropped the Big Red Monster with a Punjabi Plunge.
The Unified Tag Team Champions are heading to the ring, as they’re up NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The World Tag Team Champions are here. They both lost in singles matches against their Breaking Point opponents this past Monday on RAW….
Yo yo yo yo yo, it’s Cryme Tyme!
I hope JeriShow destroy them.
Chris Jericho and The Big Show def. Cryme Tyme
I have to apologize, guys. I’ve paid absolutely no attention to this match because I just found out about Jeff Hardy’s arrest earlier today and was reading about it. JTG tried to skin the cat back into the ring, and he got an unlikely assist back in from The Big Show’s fist, knocking him out cold and leaving him prone for Jericho to pick up the pinfall.
Teddy Long is greeted by Mr. McMahon backstage. Mr. McMahon reminds him he’s on probation, and that SmackDown is only good. It needs to be great. What’s Long going to do about it? Next week, he’s got a huge surprise that will change the face of SmackDown. Mr. McMahon wants to know what he’ll do for him at Breaking Point. Long says he’ll have something good. Mr. McMahon reminds him he doesn’t like good, he wants excellent. McMahon asks where his picture is, and Long says he’s wondering the same thing.
Submission Match coming up later tonight between Matt Hardy and CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK (I WANT THE SMACKDOWN DVD!)>
Charlie Haas is already in the ring – which means he’ll be jobbing. Especially since his opponent is the NEW Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison!
John Morrison def. Charlie Haas
John Morrison can make anybody look like a credible opponent, which makes him look even better when he hits the Starship Pain and picks up a victory like he did here.
JoMo says that last week he became the Intercontinental Champion in one of the greatest matches of his career, but it wouldn’t be possible without Rey Mysterio (doing drugs). He can’t describe the feeling, but he hopes these images will do that for him.
Video: Morrison celebrating winning the title and hugging Rey Mysterio
Morrison thanks Rey from the bottom of his heart, and offers him a rematch whenever he gets back from his suspension asks for one.
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler is sickened. He earned his title match, and Morrison and Mysterio decided to have a match. Morrison says that’s pretty much what happened. Was he going to lose again to Mysterio? Ziggler says that the third time’s a charm, but he wants his title match. Morrison says let’s do it right now. Ziggler says no. We’ll have it on his terms. Morrison wonders if Ziggler’s scared and calls him Mr. Ziggles. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison wonders if Maria calls him that. Ziggler says nobody calls him that. Morrison says he just called him that. Ziggler says Morrison doesn’t count. Morrison says the whole arena is chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler says to stop it or he’ll leave the stage. The fans cheer. Morrison says he thinks Ziggler should go, because it’s what the people want, and they’re not going to stop chanting “Mr. Ziggles.” Ziggler slinks up the ramp and backstage, much to the delight of the SmackDown fans. Morrison says that the WWE Universe won’t stop chanting Mr. Ziggles as long as he’s Intercontinental Champion.
Josh Matthews is with Matthew Hardy. Tonight he faces the man who was right about his brother’s drug use all along ended his brother’s career. Hardy says that Punk won’t be able to say he’s never submitted anymore. There will be two submissions – to The Undertaker at Breaking Point, and tonight against Matt Hardy. He says that Punk will be lucky to make it to Breaking Point, because when he locks in a submission, he’s not letting go.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Melina is out first for her match, and her opponent, Layla, is accompanied by the WWE Women’s Champion, Michelle McCool.
Layla def. Melina
Michelle hit Melina with her crutch to allow Layla to pick up the victory.
Josh Matthews is with R-Truth. He asks about Drew McIntyre. Truth says that the party is just getting started and starts babbling. The basic idea, I think, is that he wants a match with Drew McIntyre – who assaults him from behind.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Before the break: Drew McIntyre attacked R-Truth
Todd Grisham and JR run down the Breaking Point card
The World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk makes his way out to the ring as we relive him crashing through a table last week at the hands of The Undertaker. He’s facing Matt Hardy in a submission match – NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
CM Punk def. Matt Hardy
Matt, I’m begging you, please either go back to the pants look until you drop some weight, or get some tights that fit you. You look ridiculous with your underwear sticking out of the back of your tights. If I were your opponent, I’d give you a wedgie. In fact, I just tweeted him that @MATTHARDYBRAND. Here’s hoping he doesn’t post a blog blasting me. Hardy actually holds his own in this match, and utilizes a variety of submission holds, primarily working over Punk’s knee. Doesn’t stop Punk from kicking him in the head then locking him in the Anaconda Vice for the victory!
Punk celebrates his victory, holding his title high, but the bell tolls and the lights go out. When they come back on, Punk is without his title, as it is in the possession of The Undertaker at the top of the ramp.
My Thoughts: I have absolutely zero interest in Breaking Point. Submission matches are traditionally held between two guys who are well versed in submission – Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit comes to mind. I’m also disappointed that a submission themed pay per view doesn’t feature any of the three members of the roster who were trained in the famous Hart Family Dungeon. Hell, the Hart Dynasty can’t even get an actual match anymore. Matt Hardy seriously needs a different look. The black tights aren’t nearly as distracting as the blue ones he wore a couple of weeks ago, but they don’t fit him in any sense of the word. Ah well.