It’s the last stop on the road to the last ever Pay Per View us folks in the US will ever have to spend $54.95 on. The WWE Network premieres next Monday, but let’s see what the WWE have in store for us before we get there, shall we? Let’s roll!
I watch 30 minutes. I leave. Then I have to sit through this show a week later. Maybe next week I won’t have to watch it by nefarious means once I get to work. Time will tell.
If you haven’t heard by now, the main event for tonight’s Monday Night RAW was announced last week. I refuse to watch it. Which means I’m not reviewing it either. In fact, there will be no mention of this match in this review. The participants may be referred to if they do something outside of the match, but that’s it. If you give a shit about said main event, it’s probably on WWE.com and you can go watch it there. It’s not even the fact that I don’t care too much for the two guys actually wrestling in the match (though that’s part of it), it’s moreso the fact that this is the match that we were supposed to PAY for in both December and January. It’s been done. I’m done with it. Fuck it. Let’s go.
I watch this show, and I often find myself questioning why, now moreso than ever. What really is best for business? Not listening to the fans? I hope half the viewers changed the channel during the main event. Read on.
Well. We can pretty much assume that CM Punk will not be on RAW this week. Will his absence leave a noticeable mark on the show? I guess there’s only one way to find out. Go watch it, you lazy bastards. What? It’s my job to write about this show and tell you these things so you don’t have to watch it yourselves? Alright fine. Let’s go.
I watch this show so you don’t have to suffer through it. That’s because I think you’re awesome. Unless you’re Richard Sherman. How much shit are you talking with an injured leg? Guess you’re limping to DisneyWorld, huh bitch?
Usually, I watch 30 minutes of the show and have to leave for work. This evening, however, I was home for the first 2:15 of RAW. I wasn’t paying much attention though – I was too busy beating Jorge at a game called Cards Against Humanity. So, I’ll do this review the same way I normally do, just out of necessity for content. I just won’t be as surprised as I watch, because half the shit I already saw earlier. Which is usually true of WWE shows lately. Anyways, I digress. Let’s go!
I watch RAW. I beat Jorge at depraved card games. Then I come to work and review the show.
Anyone else surprised that the E are actually going with Wrestlemania Triple X? I wonder if it’s a Triple H tie in. In any case, I set my brain to work and figured out how to book most of Wrestlemania XXX. This probably isn’t what will happen, but it’ll make sense when you’ve finished reading it.
So, you guys know the deal – I usually watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and review the rest of this show in real time as I watch it. Well, due to inclement weather here in Buffalo, I find myself sitting at home right now, having watched all but 30 minutes of RAW. I went out to catch my bus to work, but although the local bus company insists that their buses were all running on time today, mine never showed up. At the time I left, it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -20. As I type this, it’s 1 with a wind chill of -32. So, if you can’t tell, IT’S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE! So, I called my boss, told him I couldn’t make it in, then came home and watched the rest of Old School RAW. Afterward, I did some DDP Yoga, so I’m here now to actually review the whole show. Let’s go!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, freeze my ass off waiting for a bus that never shows up, and then come home and watch the rest of RAW. That’s how this particular RAW review works. It’s only getting colder!
I watch, write, and suffer because Joe can’t. Hi, it’s Mark here from the Impact reviews. Joe couldn’t be here today so you have me.
Oh this is going to be painful.
Last night, the seeds were planted for a unification of the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. Jorge wasn’t happy about it, but it left me intrigued. What will happen tonight on Monday Night RAW? Go watch and find out. Let me know what happens. Oh wait, that’s my job. Shit. Ok. Forget G, I’m with Xavier Woods – It’s Morphin’ Time!
This is the part of the review where I’m supposed to explain how my reviews work. But you guys already know how they work. I watch a TV show, then I tell you what happened, so that I can save you three hours of your life. Which means, this text is only here to keep up appearances before the fold. So stop wasting your time reading this and click the “Click to continue reading ‘WWE RAW 11/25/13 – Spears for everybody!'” link. You know you want to…