Well, well, well look at what we have here another wwk gone by and now another week of you all reading my thoughts as we come closer to the 1 year anniversary of this very article. So without further ado, whether you cross the line, get extreme, put up with RAW or layeth the Smackdown, lets get this show on the road: (more…)
Last week, interim General Manager William Regal was pinned in a tag team match by Yoshi Tatsu.
Speaking of Regal, he’s the first one out to start the show tonight, along with Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson. He sends his best wishes to Tiffany as she recovers from her injury. Last week, Regal was told not to make any decisions regarding the ECW Championship. However, in the face of adversity, sometimes you have to bend the rules, and therefore, William Regal is the new number one contender. Zack Ryder disagrees, bro. Regal and Ryder argue, until Christian comes out and has news for them – neither one of them deserve it. Need proof? A janitor, Tony Atlas, and Yoshi Tatsu come out to the stage. The janitor replaced all the urinal cakes in the bathrooms in section 105 today, which means he accomplished something, which is more he can say for Regal or Ryder, which makes him more deserving of an ECW title shot than either of them. Tony Atlas may hang out with Abraham Washington, but he’s a hall of famer, and he does the laugh, which is a great accomplishment, and better than anything Regal or Ryder’s done. Yoshi Tatsu has won some matches, including matches over Regal and Ryder. Regal protests, and Christian tells him to be quiet and calls him Bill. Christian says that Tatsu should be the number one contender. It’s not up to Bill who the number one contender is, because Christian happened to run into somebody in the hallway…
I know I want that girl so bad…
Tiffany is here, arm in a sling and she’s ready to be General Manager again. She has not yet decided who the number one contender is, but all of them can make their case tonight in singles competition. Ryder will face Christian, Regal will face Tatsu, and Jackson and Kozlov will be in tag team action, next!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
So, just who are Kozlov and Jackson’s opponents? Well, the generic Alice In Chains knockoff of a theme song indicates Tommy Dreamer, and the fact that my picture just went into letterbox format despite the fact this show is already airing in widescreen seems to indicate Goldust.
Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson vs. Tommy Dreamer & Goldust
I haven’t really paid a lot of attention to ECW lately, and that includes last week when I watched the show, and Goldust seems to be in much better shape right now than he was the last time I actually watched one of his matches. In the end, Dreamer takes his eyes off of Jackson to focus on Kozlov for a split second and falls victim to the Uranage, allowing Jackson to get the pinfall.
Backstage, Regal is sucking up to Tiffany, who seems to think that John Cena would actually come to ECW instead of SmackDown if he were to lose at Bragging Rights. She tells Regal to get ready, because his match is next.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
RAW Rebound: Complete with SportCenter highlights.
Yoshi Tatsu and his DDR music make their way to the ring. William Regal is not in a good mood when he makes his entrance, and seems like he just wants to dispose of Tatsu and get this over with. By the way, the new ECW ring announcer SUCKS!
William Regal vs. Yoshi Tatsu
Because Regal doesn’t believe in runsheets, he wasn’t ready for his match and he has to take up two minutes of our time to lace up his boots. Yes, advertisers, you’re sponsoring a show where we get to watch one of the top stars tying his shoes. In fact, he actually knocks Tatsu down and goes back to trying to tie his boots. It didn’t matter anyway, Tatsu ultimately picked up the win with a roundhouse kick to the face.
After the match, Matt Striker mentions on commentary that Regal’s foot appeared to be outside of the rope. Kozlov and Jackson came down to argue with the referee on Regal’s behalf. Josh Matthews reminds us there’s no instant replay, and that the referee’s decision is final.
Last week, Shelton Benjamin was attacked before the match and still managed to get a clean victory over Paul Burchill. Benjamin will face his attacker, Sheamus, this Thursday on Superstars – Enjoy that one, tharvey1!
Oh radio, tell me everything you know
Zack Ryder makes his way to the ring while Regal continues to protest his loss.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
William Regal is still ringside as the ECW Champion, Christian comes out to face Zack Ryder, who made his entrance before the break.
Christian def. Zack Ryder via disqualification
Hey, here’s a question. What the hell ever happened to Curt Hawkins? Anyways, the action spilled to the outside, and the match ended when Regal, Kozlov, and Jackson attacked Christian, giving him the disqualification win.
After the match, Ryder questioned why Regal and his associates would attack Christian – and he gets dropped by the trio for his troubles as well.
That’s it for me tonight, time to go watch Homer Simpson by a Canyonero. Goodnight from the land of Extreme everybody!
Tiffany was apparently in a car accident, so while she’s recovering, William Regal is in charge. He’s been ordered not to make any decisions involving the ECW Championship, including Number One Contenders matches. He’s made a change to tonight’s main event however. It will now be Christian vs. Zack Ryder, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, and William Regal in a 4 on 1 handicapped match.
Abraham Washington Show with guest, Intercontinental Champion John Morrison
And you guys wonder why I don’t watch this show anymore. BTW, Morrison was on “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” earlier tonight. He lost on the last question, but the show sent $2500 in his name to the Make A Wish Foundation anyway. Morrison takes shots at The Miz and Dolph Ziggler, until Ziggler comes out and takes a seat next to him on the couch. After some bad Dolph Lundgren jokes, we reach the punchline of John Morrison calling Ziggler “Mr. Ziggles.” Even Morrison and Ziggler couldn’t save this segment.
Backstage, Regal is on the phone defending his decision to make the match tonight. Ryder comes in and says that he’s got it on his own, but Regal says that the board of directors has made the match Regal, Kozlov, Jackson, and Ryder vs. Christian, Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer, and Goldust. Ryder questions Regal’s management abilities.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Shelton Benjamin def. Paul Burchill
Sheamus assaulted Shelton Benjamin from behind when he was on his way to the ring. The referee asked him if he still wanted to wrestle, and he said yes. It’s all Burchill through this match – until Benjamin dropped him with Pay Dirt for the victory.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
We waste a bunch of time talking about RAW’s main event for Hell In A Cell. Then Christian gives a pep talk to his team.
Christian, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust, & Yoshi Tatsu def. William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson, Vladimir Kozlov, & Zack Ryder
Tatsu pinned Regal for the win.
10 days until Hell in a Cell. That means 2 more Superstars to review. Lets get the first one out of the way.
Match 1: The Masterpiece Chris Master vs Primo Colon
Its time to start pushing Chris Masters into something big. This guy is huge! Primo is a very good inhancement talent. Masters should not be losing to Primo, but I understand that Primo can’t job every week and needs some credibility for himself. Primo wins this with a quick roll up. This is fine with me, as Masters was not made to look weak in the loss. Primo is always fun to watch and he has so much more talent than Carlito, but I still see Carlito as having more to offer. Go figure.
Match 2: Goldust vs William Regal
Lord Regal’s court follows him to the ring in this one. Big Zeke is a star! Kozlov not so much, but he is ginormous too. Should Goldust still be called Goldust if his ring attire is more black than gold? Goldust wins this one via DQ. Kozlov and Ezekial Jackson help Regal dismantle Goldust. Christian, Tommy Dreamer and Yoshi Tatsu rush to the ring to save the Golden one.
Match 3: Michelle McCool and Layla vs Maria and Melina
If you have missed it, over the last few weeks Maria and Melina have been on the outs, as Maria thinks Melina has been trying to sabotage her relationship with Mr. Ziggles. Early on, Maria and Melina seem to be on the same page. Michelle McCool hits a big boot to Maria’s face and Layla gets the pin. After the match, Maria wants nothing to do with Melina. This proves that good booking and creative writing can make women’s matches interesting.
Ask the divas segment. Who cares?!
Main Event: Matt Hardy vs Kane
Matt just doesn’t do it for me at all. He is out of shape, doesn’t speak well, and can’t do the things he used to be able to. Kane, however, should be a main event heel on Smackdown right now, but the fans will always love him too. Why are the fans behind Matt so much? Is it because he is Jeff’s brother? He certainly isn’t exciting to watch or listen to anymore. Matt wins via DQ as Kane straddles Matt on the ropes several times and then delivers a Chokeslam for good measure. Even after leaving Matt in a heaping pile in the ring, the fans still popped for Kane as he left the ring.
Thanks for checking out the review this week. Join me next week as I will also give my HIAC predictions.
William Regal demands an ECW title rematch on the basis that his mindset was thrown off at Breaking Point by Tiffany’s decision to ban Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov from ringside. Tiffany declines, telling him she’s decided he doesn’t get another shot. Instead, we’ll get a battle royal later on tonight to determine the number one contender. Regal is then instructed to stay in the ring, as he’s got a match, right now…
Stand back! There’s a Hurricane Coming Through!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
William Regal def. The Hurricane
Apparently, this means that The Hurricane won’t be in the battle royal later tonight – Whasssupwitdat? Regal is forced to compete in his street clothes as this match was a complete surprise to him, and it shows, as The Hurricane controls most of it, and in fact hits the cross body from the top rope for a two. Regal decides to leave, but Hurricane catches him and tosses him back in – and gets kneed in the skull for his troubles – and a three count.
After the match, Paul Burchill attacks The Hurricane from behind and hits him with the Jackhammer.
Backstage, Goldust is apologizing to Yoshi Tatsu, who apparently just wants to continue his English lessons. He even impersonates Goldust’s tourettes. Zack Ryder wants to know if he can say loser. Goldust tells him to say loser – and he says “Zack Ryder.” Ryder says we’ll see who the loser is – Woo Woo Woo.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The new interview girl catches up with Burchill, who asks where Gregory Helms is, and remembers that he supposedly just left him in the ring. He says he wants to expose the Hurricane for who he is. Which makes me wonder why he didn’t unmask him when he knocked him out a few minutes ago.
The Bella Twins are here to be guest ring announcers. They introduce Yoshi Tatsu first, and considering he’s facing Zack Ryder, I hope he’s wearing an extra pair of tights. Matt Striker says that Zack Ryder has the best entrance music in ECW. I think it’s between his and Christian’s, honestly. And I still love Goldust’s theme.
Before getting into the match, however, I just found out that Mick Foley’s father, Jack, has passed away, so I’d like to take the opportunity to send condolences on behalf of the BWF staff to the Foley family.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Zack Ryder
A pretty good match, ending with Tatsu nearly kicking Ryder’s head off.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Battle Royal time. Shelton Benjamin, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust (who still has a letterbox entrance despite the fact that the show is broadcast in 16:9 widescreen), Tyler Reks, Sheamus…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
…Yoshi Tatsu, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder (still holding the back of his head).
Zack Ryder wins a 10 Man Battle Royal to become the new Number One Contender for the ECW Championship.
Burchill is tossed by Shelton Benjamin. After about 5 minutes of nothing of any interest happening, Kozlov and Jackson stare each other down.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Reks was eliminated during the break. Jackson eliminates Tatsu. The fans are solidly behind Goldust. Seriously. Sheamus is eliminated by Benjamin, as is Jackson. Sheamus attacks Benjamin, causing him to drop to the floor, eliminating him. Ryder, Goldust, Kozlov, and Dreamer are left. Goldust accidentally eliminates himself while going after Ryder, who pulled the ropes down on him. The same thing happens to Kozlov when he goes after Dreamer, who is dumped over the top rope by the winner, Zack Ryder!
Ryder’s getting a title shot. Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
I didn’t watch this PPV, and I’m refusing to. At first, I was refusing to watch because of the whole “submission matches without primarily submission wrestlers” thing. Now there’s another reason, but I’ll get to that at the end.
Chris Jericho & The Big Show def. MVP & Mark Henry to retain the Unified WWE Tag Team Championships. As if we didn’t see that coming.
Kofi Kingston def. The Miz to retain the WWE United States Championship. And the point of that was?
Legacy def. DX in a Submissions Count Anywhere match. Really? Wow! There’s some credibility for the two young guys there – which will no doubt be destroyed by Hell In A Cell next month.
Kane def. The Great Khali in a Singapore Cane Submission match. And people actually paid for this?
Christian def. William Regal to retain the ECW Championship. By Pinfall. On a submission themed Pay Per View. Where the main events are all supposed to be submission matches. In the ECW main event. Yup.
John Cena def. Randy Orton in an I Quit Match to win the WWE Championship. Great. Now we have to deal with Cena as the champion again.
The Undertaker def. CM Punk to win the World Heavyweight Championship – but wait, there’s more!
Teddy Long came out and announced the the Hell’s Gate submission was still technically banned, so the match had to be restarted…
CM Punk def. The Undertaker to retain the World Heavyweight Championship. Punk reversed a Last Ride into an Anaconda Vise, and the referee immediately called for the bell. Punk and the referee then bolted up the ramp to where Teddy Long was standing. Yes folks, another rehash of the Montreal Screwjob.
You know what, I’m sick of this crap. Every time the WWE is in Canada, they have to do some kind of screwjob angle. 2003 in Montreal with The Rock and Hulk Hogan. A few years back with Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels. Look. The Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels thing happened in November of 1997. That’s nearly 12 years ago. The fact is, that wasn’t a storyline – that was real, or as they say in the business, a “shoot.” That pissed off a lot of people because Bret Hart was loved by the fans – especially the Canadian fans – and was legitimately screwed out of the WWF Championship. I get it, wink wink, nudge nudge, we screwed the fan favorite in Canada. It’s getting old. I get where you’re coming from with it, but enough is enough.
I also hate the whole gimmick PPV thing. John Cena, Randy Orton, The Undertaker, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, The Great Khali, and Kane are not names that spring to mind when you mention submission wrestling to me. And next month is Hell in a Cell. Because a John Cena/Randy Orton Hell in a Cell main event makes any sense. Really, to have, at the very least, two Hell in a Cell matches in one Pay Per View sort of diminishes the significance of the match. Same with the TLC Pay Per View coming up in December. These type of matches should be kept to one per year, maximum, and the guys in the matches should be guys who specialize in them. Undertaker or Triple H in Hell in the Cell, for example, or Edge, Christian, or Matt Hardy in TLC.
Given the lack of anything decent or new on the card, and the oh so cliche Montreal Screwjob ending, I’m glad I didn’t waste either my time or my money on this PPV.
You expected all week for a Part Deux, but Charlie Sheen beat me to it. This is the War on Everything.
Welcome to the War for another week, here on the BWF network. The only column in the BWF network with it’s own theme song.
WWE programming is still being boycotted unfortunately, which means, that I now declare war on World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s about time, that it gets dragged from this kid-friendly infestation that it’s crawled itself into, and into an era that accommodates the fans that have there during its good and bad days, and the entirety of 1995. Now, the only way to declare war on Vinnie Mac and his kiddie carnival is by heading to the other side of the tracks, and supporting TNA, and ROH. By supporting the opposition, and losing interest in the McMahon family, then Vince will have to resort to what he knows works, and that’s pleasing the fans that supported him for so long. Then, maybe just maybe, the WWE shows a little attitude in his programming and everyone is happy.
My second favourite RAW is WAR match of all time.
Speaking of TNA, they have announced for the first time ever, they are touring my part of the world. Details can found at TNAWrestling.com. All that stands from me and seeing my first wrestling event ever, is the dollars required, and my ability to order decent tickets in time. With that said, I know people reading this have been to a TNA House Show before, so all I’m asking is, what should I expect to pay for tickets etc.?
My favourite RAW is WAR match of all time … Part One.
Let me leave the squared circle for just a moment, and add a few little tidbits to the column.
Why can’t I find NHL 10 on the xbox.com.au website? Does that mean it’s not coming out in Australia?
How do I make it, so it says ‘Click here to continue reading such and such …’? Why can everyone else do it and I can’t?
I’m picking up the Rise and Fall of WCW this week. Do I need to be warned of Buff Bagwell sightings?
What book should I read next? Bret Hart’s, William Regal’s, Batista’s or Andre the Giant’s?
My song of the week.
Are unemployment benefits good for people if you’re having trouble finding new work, even though dealing with the company that provides the services, are a pain in the arse?
Can you tell I’m Australian, because I said arse, instead of ass?
The Survivor Series anthology is coming in November, although it looks like it’s coming in sections of four, rather than the box set the previous three have came in.
My favourite RAW is WAR match of all time … Part Two.
That’s all from the War this week. Stay tuned to BoredWrestlingFan.com throughout the week, and be sure to visit the forums and have your say. This has been the one the call ‘Legend Killer’, telling you, that not only is he Double C, but he wants you to staple gun his genitals to the wall, so we can both have a ball.
Its late. I’m tired. This is gonna be quick.
Match 1: Evan Bourne vs Chris Masters
This match looked like a squash until the end, when Bourne made his comeback and hit his Shooting Star Press for the win. Raw is not doing a good job in building their midcard scene. Masters should be in the US Title race…not losing to Evan Bourne. Evan Bourne should be on Smackdown in the IC Title race…not beating huge guys like Masters and Jack Swagger.
Match 2: William Regal vs Tyler Reks
Tyler Reks sucks. He looks like he needs to take a massive duece when he walks. Regal wins with his running knee. After the match, Big Zeke and Kozlov hit their finishers on Reks for good measure.
Match 3: Cryme Time and Eve vs the Hart Dynasty
Good match…even with the divas involved. Eve looks good in the ring and Natalya is good in the ring. Natalya gets the win after Eve missed her acrobatic splash followed by a Natalya clothesline.
See ya next week folks.
It’s time, it’s time to Kick Out The Jams!for your favorite article of thew week written by me. I shall not make you wait any longer , so here we go: (more…)
Welcome to the War for a special occasion.
It’s amazing really, I barely talked about the SummerSlam Pay-Per-View LIVE in about … 14 hours time, which means … it’s prediction time.
MVP vs. Jack Swagger
The man I call Dusty Rhodes gets the win. Listen to Swagger speak, then you’ll know.
Kane vs. the Great Khali
I can’t stand Khali, so I hope Kane wins. Then again, Kane needs the mask.
Unified Tag Team Championship: JeriShow (c) vs. Cryme Time
If Cryme Tyme win, then it will be a joke. Jericho and Show with the victory.
ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. William Regal
William Regal. Sure, it will technically count as a Major Championship reign, but having he, Kozlov and Zeke as a stable on ECW, could be a really good thing. Especially, with the leader with the belt.
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
I can’t stand Rey. I couldn’t stand him as a Filthy Animal, and I can’t stand him now. Give Ziggler the win, even though he was a stupid name.
Legacy vs. D-Generation X
Legacy should win, however they won’t. DX pickup the win.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs John Cena
Orton should retain. I hope the snipers come and shoot Cena.
World Heavyweight Championship: TLC: Jeff Hardy (c) vs CM Punk
Considering Hardy is leaving either at SummerSlam, or the week after. Punk will win. Punk should win. Vampiro doesn’t deserve it.
There you go, that’s who will win. I will be watching if I am awake. If the PPV is not up to scratch, then I wont be watching Floyd Mayweather Guest Host RAW.