Well it seems to me that the world is on fire and I just saved a bunch of money by not switching to Geico, I concur that reality is just something and nothingness is everywhere, but as we all know none of that really made any sense (except the Geico part) we shall take a look at the world as only the Random one sees it:
Hey! That’s right, something before RAW?! Yeah. I decided at the beginning of the Royal Rumble match to do a real quick rundown of the Royal Rumble. This is not going to be anywhere near as long as the usual RAW Reviews, and it’s not going to be as detailed. The backstage segments may be out of order, but I barely paid attention to them…
Edge vs Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero for the World Heavyweight Championship
So Edge comes out, we’re reminded that he can’t use the Spear or he loses the Championship, and then Vickie comes out, reminds us, and introduces Dolph. The match goes on for a while and was a pretty decent match. I didn’t expect it to be, but it turned out to be. Vickie got on the apron and slapped Edge, but Kelly Kelly, of all fuckin people, came out and took her out. Dolph locked in a sleeper, and during Edge’s wild flailing to get out of it, he slapped the ref, and knocked him down. So, Edge hit a quick Spear when no one was looking (except the whole audience), and then locked in the Killswitch (or the Unprettier) for the win.
World Heavyweight Champion Edge wins via pinfall.
There’s a small segment backstage with WWE Champion The Miz saying that he’ll win, and Riley backs him up.
The Miz with Alex Riley vs Randy Orton for the WWE Championship
Randy gets an early advantage, but Riley interferes and Miz gets it. Match was pretty decent, with Riley interfering a good amount, and The Miz about to walk out before Randy stopped that idea with a harsh clothesline. It ended, surprisingly, with Nexus coming out to stand by the ring. Riley came in to try to get Randy, but was thrown out onto Nexus and the ref, and then Punk came up from underneath the ring and hit the Go To Sleep on Orton, and dragged Miz over for the cover.
WWE Champion The Miz wins via pinfall.
Gail Kim was backstage with Daniel Bryan. Bellas faked an apology and then attacked.
Natalya vs LayCool in a Two-on-One Handicap Match for the WWE Diva’s Championship
Before the match can get started, the RAW GM says that he’s gotten enough emails about Cole being annoying (“That’s just a joke!”), and won’t get more about LayCool, so this is now a Fatal Four Way. NO! IT WASN’T AWESOME KONG’S DEBUT, OR EVEN BETH! IT WAS!!!!!!!
Natalya vs Layla vs Michelle McCool vs Eve Torres for the WWE Diva’s Championship
You read that right. Anyway, the match was alright, kind of, and then Eve pinned Layla as McCool pinned Natalya. However, ref was looking at Eve and Layla.
WWE Diva’s Champion Eve Torres wins via pinfall.
Michelle was pissed.
Then, the Royal Rumble match (and there was a thing at some point about how “Dashing” Cody Rhodes had an official statement about his not making it, thanks to Rey’s knee brace breaking his face nose.) started.
ENTRANT NUMBER – ENTRANT – ELIMINATED BY
1) CM Punk
I have to stop here. Punk came out, and then the Corre’s music hit, and then the Corre surrounded Punk, and then the New Nexus came in and it was a mini-brawl. Essentially, the RAW GM told them that this was not how the Royal Rumble match was going to start and sent them all (minus Punk) back to the back to wait their turns.
1) CM Punk – John Cena
2) United States Champion Daniel Bryan – David Otunga
3) Justin Gabriel – Daniel Bryan
4) Zack Ryder – Daniel Bryan
5) William Regal – Ted DiBiase
6) Ted DiBiase (with Maryse) – Nexus
7) John Morrison – Nexus
8) Yoshi Tatsu – Mark Henry
9) Husky Harris – The Great Khali
10) Chavo Guerrero – Mark Henry
11) Mark Henry – Nexus
12) JTG – Michael McGuillicutty
13) Michael McGuillicutty – John Cena
14) Chris Masters – Nexus
15) David Otunga – John Cena
16) Tyler Reks – Nexus
17) Vladimir Kozlov – Punk
18) R-Truth – Punk
19) The Great Khali – Mason Ryan
20) Mason Ryan – John Cena
21) Booker T – Mason Ryan
22) John Cena – The Miz
23) Hornswoggle – Sheamus
24) Tyson Kidd – John Cena
25) Heath Slater – John Cena
26) Kofi Kingston – Randy Orton
27) Jack Swagger – Rey Mysterio
28) Sheamus – Randy Orton
29) Rey Mysterio – Wade Barrett
30) Wade Barrett – Randy Orton
31) Dolph Ziggler – The Big Show
32) Diesel – Wade Barrett
33) Drew McIntyre – The Big Show
34) Alex Riley – John Cena
35) The Big Show – Ezekiel Jackson
36) Ezekiel Jackson – Kane
37) Santino Marella – Alberto del Rio
38) Alberto del Rio – WINNER
39) Randy Orton – Alberto del Rio
40) Kane – Rey Mysterio
There were a lot of hijinks in the ring during the match. The Miz ran into the ring, after sitting commentary since Alex Riley entered the Rumble, and eliminated Cena after Cena eliminated Riley. Hornswoggle copied a lot of moves, and a lot of the people lasted longer than they may have seemed to. It wasn’t a hugely, wildly spectacular match, but it was alright.
See ya tomorrow night for Monday Night RAW!
Well folks, it’s been a few months since this column has popped up here at BoredWrestlingFan. I figured that this week would be the perfect time to resurrect it, with the return of “The War on Everything” this past Wednesday and the lack of “Random Randomness” as JT takes today off as part of his extended birthday celebration.
I know, I know. I’v e been changing the format of the RAW review on a near weekly basis. I wasn’t intending to this time, but I wound up oversleeping and waking up just 5 minutes before the show started, leaving me with no time to set up a review. The important thing is, I watched RAW, and I’m going to tell you about it. Ready? Let’s go!
Well, I’m sure that JT was a more than a little drunk last night, I know I’ll likely be tonight, as the two of us celebrate our shared birthday, which was this past Thursday. November 13th, of course, is also a day of mourning for us wrestling fans, as it was three years ago on that date that Eddie Guerrero passed away. You can imagine, that was a very unwelcome birthday present for us as wrestling fans. Eddie was the hottest thing going in WWE at the time, and we still miss his in ring antics to this day.
In any event, my thoughts on this week’s SmackDown as I watch it on DVR are after the jump! (more…)
By JT
Hey everybody. Just wanted to chime in and give my two cents on Cyber Sunday. Taking a look at the card here’s how it looks:
1. WWE Championship (WWE Universe chooses challenger) choices are:
What I think should happen- I would like to see HHH take on both of them. Then during the match HHH gets knocked out of the ring, Kozlov does his headbutt thingy on Jeff Hardy, pins him and wins the WWE title.
What probably will happen- Jeff hardy gets 90% of the vote and faces HHH one-on-one, with HHH coming out on top.
2. Undertaker vs. Big Show (WWE Universe chooses type of match) choices are:
What I think should happen- I don’t have much to say about this match so I’m going with Last man standing.
What will probably happen- Last man standing, Taker gets his win back.
3. WWE Diva Halloween Costume Contest– I don’t care, nuff said.
4. Pick the Tag Team Match choices are:
What I think should happen- First, let me say what won’t happen. The mixed tag match. If it gets more than 10% of the vote I’ll be surprised. Now back on the subject, I think that the tag title match will happen.
What probably will happen- Tag title match, Punk and Kingston win.
5. Cyber Sunday Preview Match (United States Championship Match) the choices are:
Wow good to see Shelton get on the card (even if it’s a preview match on wwe.com) and no doubt that he’s gonna be facing and losing the belt to R-Truth. (that’s both what I think and probably will happen)
6. ECW Championship Match (WWE Universe chooses Matt Hardy’s opponent) Choices are:
What I think will happen- If anyone has seen Evan Bourne, then there should be no doubt that he should be facing Matt Hardy.
What probably will happen- Evan Bourne faces Matt. The guy is awesome and even proved it last Tuesday on ECW so that will turn the vote in his direction.
7. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio (WWE Universe chooses type of match) choices are:
What I think should happen- Ugh, this is one feud I don’t care about. I am not a fan of Rey Mysterio’s (never have) so anything involving him I just don’t give a s#@*. I gonna go with No Hols Barred.
What will probably will happen- Falls Count Anywhere. Kane kills Rey and takes his mask.
8.Intercontinental Championship Match (WWE Universe chooses Santino Marella’s opponent) Choices are:
Man even Batista puts me to sleep even typing his name.
What I think will happen- Randy Orton being a choice is a joke. If he gets more than 5% of the votes I will know this whole thing is rigged. This is going to be very close between HBK and Stone Cold. Since Austin is supposed to be there and I don’t see having him there and not using him so he wins.
What probably will happen- Austin gets 50%, HBK 49%, Orton 1%. Austin during the match gets pissed off at both Jericho and Batista, stuns them counts them both down but just before 3 Jericho gets his arm on Batista and retains.
Well those are my thoughts on Cyber Sunday, hope you didn’t too bored and go away. If you didn’t thanks for reading and hop to see you soon.
Tonight on SmackDown, Jeff Hardy takes on The Brian Kendrick, Triple H takes on MVP, and Vickie Guerrero is expecting her apology from The Undertaker. All this and more, tonight! You guys know how it works by now, quick results up here, details after the jump, so stick around, Friday Night SmackDown is on the air right now!
Michelle McCool def. Maryse to retain the WWE Divas Championship.
Festus vs. Ryan Braddock ended in a no contest when Jesse and Festus wrapped Braddock in duct tape and bubble wrap and wheeled him out of the arena.
R-Truth def. Shelton Benjamin.
Jeff Hardy def. The Brian Kendrick. After the match, Vladimir Kozlov lays Hardy out at the top of the ramp.
Carlito’s Cabana with special guest Primo. They challenge Hawkins and Ryder to a tag title match, which is accepted for next week.
The Great Khali destroyed Scotty Goldman.
Triple H def. MVP.
Full details after the jump! (more…)
You know how we do Friday Nights around here – quick results, followed by detailed results, so keep your refresh button handy, because it’s time for SmackDown in real-time on BoredWrestlingFan.com!
Undertaker tells Vickie Guerrero she’ll burn in hell.
K-Kwik R-Truth def. Kenny Dykstra via pinfall.
Maryse & Natalya def. Maria & Michelle via pinfall.
Jeff Hardy def. MVP via pinfall. After the match, both men were hit with Pay Dirt by Shelton Benjamin.
Hawkins & Ryder vs. Jesse & Festus went to a no contest when The Big Show beat up both teams.
Brie Bella def. Victoria via pinfall.
Triple H def. Shelton Benjamin via pinfall.