BWF Round Table – TNA’s “Turning Point” 2009
Leave a CommentLet’s see if the BWF site can show the Empress of “iMPACT” a bit more love than it did on Thursday night, and actually allow me to post the entirety of this. (more…)
Let’s see if the BWF site can show the Empress of “iMPACT” a bit more love than it did on Thursday night, and actually allow me to post the entirety of this. (more…)
Remember, remember, the 5th of November. The Gunpowder Treason and plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot. (more…)
Your Empress of “iMPACT” will attempt to lead you through tonight’s grand adventure, but should the insane storms interfere with my ability to watch the show, RYTMAN shall step in and take over. Onward! (more…)
The week is winding down, and it’s time to join your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line!
It’s a bit late, but it’s here.
Bring some snacks and settle in, peeps!
AJ Styles is now TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Samoa Joe is still X-Division Champion. Sarita and Taylor Wilde are the first-ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions.
Now what?
Join your Empress of “Impact” in crossing the nearest line to find out!
TNA “No Surrender” Predictions
World Heavyweight Championship match
Sting vs. AJ Styles vs. Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle (ch)
JT: Matt Morgan – TNA needs to go for it and put the belt on him now. He wins by pinning either Sting or AJ Styles.
ThinkSoJoE: Gotta go with Angle here – Sting and AJ are “Bound for Glory” bound, Morgan isn’t ready for it yet.
The Green Teabagger: Matt Morgan reveals he was with Angle all along and helps Angle retain The Precious. Sounds like another addition to The Intro!
Legend Killer: Kurt Angle. Do you really see Matt Morgan winning?
Drowgoddess: AJ Styles to win, because he and Sting can still fight at BFG with AJ being the champ. The guy carried the company since the very first day, and he is long overdue to have the gold that proves it. AJ is not the future of wrestling, he has been the present of wrestling for the past seven years. I just hope against hope that Matt Morgan doesn’t turn out to be on Angle’s side after all. For one thing, we’ve already seen that when Samoa Joe joined the MEM and handed Angle the title. For the other thing, people are going crazy in a good way over Morgan blatantly playing games with Angle, and a swerve for the sake of a swerve will only destroy Morgan’s momentum and connection with the fans.
“The Boss” Bobby Lashley vs. “The War Machine” Rhino
JT: Lashley – It’s his first ppv match since joining TNA, no way he’s gonna lose.
ThinkSoJoE: Lashley. They’re going to put that much hype behind the Bruce Springsteen wannabe to have him job to the War Machine? Psh.
The Green Teabagger: Yeah, like Rhino has a chance. Rhino was forgotten until they needed someone to take a dive for a part-timer. Reality check: Barring injury, stupid shit, or Angle getting thrown in jail, the main event at BFG 5 is Angle-Lashley for the title. Lashley is going into that undefeated, but it will probably be his third match in TNA. Next month, he’ll probably be facing Homicide.
Legend Killer: Black Lesnar. Have this guy, that you’re hyping up to be the cornerstone of the company, then have him lose in his first match.
Drowgoddess: Everybody, even a pygmy deaf-mute in the Amazonian rain forest, knows that Lashley is winning this match. Lashley is the latest ex-WWE savior of TNA, and as such, will be absolutely dominant until he finally fights Kurt Angle.
X-Division Championship match
Daniels vs. Samoa Joe (ch)
JT: Joe – Wait, is this a feud??? Wow, this shows how much attention I pay to iMPACT! every week. I don’t see Samoa Joe losing the title anytime soon.
ThinkSoJoE: Joe. For no other reason than Joe is gonna kill you.
The Green Teabagger: I’d like Daniels to win the title and go on to a feud with The Pope D’Angelo Dinero. Right, like the MEM is giving up a belt, but this would be the one they lose if they do lose any of them anytime soon. Samoa Joe retains.
Legend Killer: Samoa Joe. Daniels wants to bring the X-Division back, but Joe’s only held the belt a month.
Drowgoddess: I could go either way in this match and be happy, but Samoa Joe retains here. Daniels SHOULD win the X-Division title, but the timing may not be right.
“Lethal Lockdown” tag team cage match
Beer Money vs. The British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner & Booker T (ch)
JT: British Invasion – There’s a Lethal Lockdown match??? I seriously didn’t know about this one until this week’s iMPACT!, but since they’re trying to tease a feud between the MEM and the British Invasion, I’ll go with them.
ThinkSoJoE: BEER MONEY!
The Green Teabagger: No titles are on the line, so Beer Money and Team 3-D win this match. That way, it looks “balanced.” :/
Legend Killer: Team 3D and Beer Money Inc. Three words. Beer Money Inc.
Drowgoddess: I’m still confused about this match. I thought that it was a four-way match for the tag team titles in a cage, under “Lethal Lockdown” rules. Now, it seems to be a non-title match with two teams of four. The website and the tv program are not in alignment on this! Either Beer Money wins or The British Invasion (in the form of Brutus Magnus) steals a third pin and victory from Steiner and Booker.
“$50,000 Bounty vs. Legends Championship” match
Abyss vs. Kevin Nash (ch)
JT: Nash (as long as he doesn’t get injured walking to the ring or boning fat chicks) – Dr. Stevie gets involved, Nash wins.
ThinkSoJoE: If the title is on the line, Nash. If not, Abyss.
The Green Teabagger: I want Abyss to win the Legends Title. That said, I almost expect Foley to either insert himself into this match at the last moment to make it a Triple Threat. Either way, if Nash shows up, he wins.
Legend Killer: Abyss. You watch Foley interfere in this one. I say Abyss, just so it pisses off Foley. However, Nash claims the bounty.
Drowgoddess: I’m not terribly excited about this match. No way is Nash losing. Mick Foley and Dr. Stevie will likely get involved, somehow.
Knockouts Championship match (title is held up)
ODB vs. Cody Deaner
JT: ODB – The women’s title should be on a woman, not a man, enough said.
ThinkSoJoE: Given the fact that every Knockout beat the crap out of Deaner this past Thursday, going with ODB.
The Green Teabagger: If there is a just and loving God, ODB will win this match. I’m still picking Cody Deaner because Russo has the book.
Legend Killer: Cody Deaner. Because TNA are that retarded to do that.
Drowgoddess: ODB has got to win. End this horribly unfunny abomination of allowing Cody Deaner to cheapen a title that actually did mean something!
Finals of the Knockouts tag team championship tournament
The Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde & Sarita
JT: The Beautiful People – Don’t really have a reason why, just picking them.
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going with Taylor and Sarita for the sheer fact that Angelina Love won’t be there.
The Green Teabagger: The Beautiful People….Vel Vel and 🙁 Madison Rayne, subbing for Angelina Love. Because it’s as close to the assumed original plan as they can, Rayne and Vel Vel with the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They will still be more legit tag champions than The British Invasion.
Legend Killer: Taylor/Sarita. Considering one of their opponents no longer works for the company, I’d say it’s a good bet.
Drowgoddess: Taylor Wilde and Sarita should win, but the only reason that Madison Rayne got back together with The Beautiful People is because Angelina Love won’t be at the ppv. That’s quite a lot of trouble to go to unless the only plan is to have The Beautiful People win. Therefore, I’m predicting a Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne victory.
Grudge match
Eric Young vs. Hernandez
JT: Hernandez – I think everyone knows how much I hate Eric Young, so yeah, my pick might be a little biased, but I’m sticking to it.
ThinkSoJoE: EY will take this one, likely with help from Homicide.
The Green Teabagger: Eric Young wins with a combination of cheating, chairs, and a piledriver. JT will probably say, “Fuck Eric Young!” before, during, and after. I will be watching the New York Giants dissect the Dallas Cowboys.
Legend Killer: Hernandez. Even with Homicide in his corner, the chum for Team Canada has no chance.
Drowgoddess: I don’t hate Eric Young. I think he’s doing the best work of his career, and the “cheap knock-off of Chris Jericho” accusations really aren’t fair. Hernandez has destroyed all of World Elite that have challenged him thus far, so Eric Young has to win, by hook or by crook.
The BWF staff has spoken! Join us for full coverage of “No Surrender,” and see who was right.
Welcome to the War for another week.
We start proceedings with the happenings of the WWE’s latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Breaking Point. The event was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the home of the infamous screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series, and this same event, included it’s own screwjob. CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion, controversially retained the title, after his opponent, the Undertaker had his win taken off him, due to an ‘illegal submission hold’. Smackdown! General Manager, Teddy Long, used an old rule implemented by Vickie Guerrero, and banned Undertaker’s Devil’s Triangle. The same move used to make CM Punk submit at Breaking Point. Using this technicality so to speak, means it gives Punk a chance to beat the Undertaker in a submission match, and it builds onto the next PPV, Hell In A Cell.
Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. No wonder he wanted to leave the WWE.
Linda McMahon has resigned from the WWE, to concentrate on running to become a Senator in her home state of Conneticut. Good for her. I hope things work out well for her.
Random Clip of the Week: Sonic the Hedgehog’s lessons: #256 Masturbation
Onto TNA news, and TNA have announced the firings of BG James, and Jim Cornette. This is a bad move. Cornette is a mastermind when it comes to wrestling, and with BG James gone, this allows him to come back and be the third member in D-Generation X, which is just what we need.
No Surrender is this weekend, and Kurt Angle defends the TNA Heavyweight Championship against Matt Morgan, Sting and AJ Styles. My predictions will come later in the week, and I suggest that the rest of the BWF staff follow suit.
Song of the Week: From the album ‘Hulk Rules’ by the Wrestling Boot Travelling Band, it’s Track 4 from that album. I strangely enjoy this song.
Onto other news of the week.
South African athlete Caster Semenya, has been revealed to have both male and female sexual organs, making her a hermaphrodite. South African officals are unsure as to whether he/she is allowed to keep her 800m World Championships Gold Medal.
Kanye West has taken over John Edward as the biggest douche in the universe, after his stunt at the VMAs this past week.
I thought Jay Leno left the Tonight Show? Explain to me how his new show is different, except for the timeslot.
Both of my Yahoo Fantasy! NFL teams won this week. Cheer the mighty D-Crippilation X to victory!
Patrick Swayze passed away at age 57, after his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people say he was a sex symbol at his age before his death. I say he was in Roadhouse, and cleaned house with Terry Funk. RIP.
Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston. According to one of his ‘sex slaves’, Osama would talk about Whitney all the time. Whitney responded in this manner. Then Tyra had to have her say. Finally, Danny Noriega had this to say.
That’s all for this week. Tune into BWF programming later in the week.
It’s line-crossing time!!!