“Smackdown” Review, 1/15/10
Leave a CommentHappy Friday, everyone!
Welcome to the Delayed-Time Review of this week’s “Smackdown.” As opposed to a Real-Time, you see. (more…)
Happy Friday, everyone!
Welcome to the Delayed-Time Review of this week’s “Smackdown.” As opposed to a Real-Time, you see. (more…)
Sorry its late guys and gals i had some family issues…so here we go…
The show kicks off with highlights from last week’s huge 3-hour live Monday Impact. Inside the arena we get the debut of the Young Bucks!
Generation Me (Max & Jeremy) vs. Motor City Machine Guns
For those that don’t know Generation Me is the team of Nick & Matt Jackson also known as the Young Bucks. A VERY popular tag team on the INDY scene here in American competing for such promotions as Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, PWG, and Dragon Gate USA. This is their first official match in TNA (they already had a tryout match). Matt is the dark haired one and Nick the blonde. Matt and Saban start the match off. They trade counters and reversals of wristlocks until Sabin connects with an arm drag and then a drop toe hold. Sabin tags in Shelley and puts a wristlock on Matt as he gets in the ring, but Matt breaks the hold and then attempts to whip Shelley into the ropes as Taz finally says that his name is Max and Nick is known as Jeremy. Okay that would’ve been nice to know before the match TNA. Shelley reverses the Irish Whip and Sabin comes in as well. They hit a Double Slam and then sandwich Max with double roundhouses to the head. Jeremy springboards into the ring with a dive attempt but they kick Jeremy in the gut in midair. The Guns then light Jeremy up with round kicks to and throw him to the floor. Sabin hits a Snapmare on Max and then throws him into Shelley’s boot and tags Shelley in. Shelley hits a Snapmare of his own and then locks in a Sleeper as the fans chant “Young Bucks” now. Max fights to his feet but gets lit up with a Knife Edge Chop as we see The Outsiders & Sean Waltman arriving to the arena. Max reverses a whip in the ring and kicks Shelley but then catches a boot from behind by Sabin. Sabin tags in and then The Guns whip Max into the corner and then Sabin whips Shelley at Max. Max backdrops Shelley over the top to the floor and then Sabin eats a boot as he charges at Max. Max follows up with an insane Springboard into a Twisting Diamond Cutter off the top on Sabin! Jeremy tags in and he hits a clothesline followed by a Springboard Dropkick to Shelley as he tried to get back into the ring! Jeremy hits a back elbow on Shelley and then a sliding dropkick to Shelley on the outside. He turns his attention back to Sabin and connects with an Atomic Drop and then quickly goes to the apron and hits a Standing Moonsault off the apron onto Shelley! Holy crap this guy isn’t fast, he’s damn sudden! Jeremy with a shoulder block to a charging Sabin and then a Slingshot X-Factor! 1…2…NO Sabin kicks out! Max tags back in now and they whip Sabin into the corner. Jeremy whips Max into Sabin but eats his boot and then Jeremy charges. Sabin gets his boot up but Jeremy catches it only to eat the other boot from Sabin with an Enziguri. Sabin grabs Jeremy and goes for a Running Bulldog but Max sends his teeth into about the 10th row with a nasty Superkick! Generation Me then hit a Double Backbreaker followed by an insane double team move! Jeremy held Sabin face down over his knee as Max ran the ropes and did a Twisting Neckbreaker on Sabin onto Jeremy’s damn knee! 1…2…NO Sabin still kicks out! Max holds Sabin as Jeremy comes off the ropes but Sabin gets a boot up on Jeremy and then hits an Armdrag on Max. Shelley tags back in and hits a Flying Back Kick off the top on Max! Shelley goes for a German Suplex but Max hits a back elbow and then comes off the ropes but Shelley is right behind him. Shelley goes for a clothesline but Max ducks and hits a Spear! Jeremy dives off the top with a Springboard Frog Splash as Max hits a Standing Moonsault at the same damn time! It’s like one fluid motion; these guys are so in sync! 1…2…NO Sabin breaks it up! Jeremy shoves Sabin out to the floor as Shelley drags himself up in the corner. Jeremy charges at him but Shelley gets his boot up and then catches Max as he charges in and hits a Reverse STO sending Max headfirst into the middle turnbuckle! Sabin then springboards off the top with the Springboard Flying Clothesline sending Jeremy out to the floor! Sabin with a Spinning Back Kick on Max and then Sabin lifts Max up and onto Shelley’s shoulders. Sabin comes off the ropes and hits the Thunder Express (Powerslam/Diamond Cutter combo)! 1…2…NO Jeremy breaks up it! Sabin grabs Jeremy and throws him back out to the floor! Sabin then goes for a Slingshot Cross Body over the top but Jeremy moves out of the way! In the ring Shelley goes for the Sliced Bread but Max blocks it. Shelley then grabs a waistlock on Max but Max turns around backs into the corner. Jeremy comes flying in and delivers a Superkick as Max ducks and Jeremy nails Shelley! Max lifts Shelley up and hits the Rolling Firemans Carry Slam and then Jeremy flies off the top with a 450 Splash and then Matt hit’s a Flying Moonsault! It’s the More Bang for Your Buck! 1…2…3 and Generation Me get the upset!
Winners: Generation Me via pinfall (More Bang for Your Buck)
In the back the Nasty Boys are still in 3D’s lockerroom and are still trashing it. Someone knocks on the door and it’s 3D trying to get in. Nasty Boys taunt them from inside and Devon says the joke is over and let them in. They refuse to let 3D in as they continue to beat on it.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Hogan is talking about the insane match that Angle and AJ had last week and he says they need to know if AJ can do it again and follows up by saying Genesis will be Angle’s last shot at the TNA Title in 2010 if he doesn’t beat AJ. Hogan hypes up TNA further and talks about Genesis and he says they have attracted one of the ‘biggest names in wrestling’ and he will make a huge impact at Genesis. Wow, more?
Kurt Angle’s music hits inside the arena and Angle makes his way out to the ring fresh off by far the best match in Impact’s history (in my opinion) last week. Angle says he wants to give AJ his credit and he says that AJ proved he wasn’t a fluke. He says that he proved that Sting handed him nothing and that he has earned everything on his own. Angle says he gave everything he had last week and AJ was the better man but says that only for that one night. He says that when 2 great athletes get in the ring, ‘one win some, you lose some’ and the true champion is the man that can get that last big win. He says at Genesis it will be him. He says “It’s real, it’s damn real” and then AJ’s music and then World Champion makes his way out to the ring to a huge reaction from the crowd. AJ says he can appreciate Kurt taking his loss last week like a man and not making excuses. He says he does agree with Angle and says if they had a series of matches he would win some, and Kurt would win some, but after the war was over AJ would still be holding the belt. AJ says Hogan and everyone watching wants to see them do it one more time, but he reminds that Angle it will be Kurt’s last shot in 2010 if he loses. Angle says he’ll only need one more shot to win it and then they shake hands in the center of the ring and do a mini-hug. Angle leaves the ring leaving AJ holding the TNA Title up in the ring.
At ringside Taz and Tenay hype up Genesis further but then we see that masked man attacking AJ on the ramp! He throws AJ into the guardrail and then tosses AJ back into the ring. The masked man levels AJ with a Lariat and then he finally unmasks! It’s AJ’s former tag team partner, TOMKO! The fans boo Tomko as he taunts the crowd and then leaves the ring smiling at AJ.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials they show a replay of what just went down with Tomko and AJ. In the back Christy Hemme is with the Outsiders and Waltman and she actually refers to Waltman as Syxx-Pac. I think that’s the first time I’ve heard him refereed by that name in 6 years. Bubba the Love Sponge interrupts Christy and tells her to go freshen up so he can ask the tough questions. Bubba says no one has seen or heard from Mick Foley since the attack last week and he asks if they know where he is. Nash says ‘The Band’ is back together and Bubba interrupts him and says he’s not giving him anything. Hall says “what happens in the band, happens in the band” and Bubba gets frustrating and sends it back to ringside. I do not like that guy.
The Beautiful People w/Lacey Von Erich vs. Awesome Kong & Hamada
Velvet & Madison see Angelina Love in the front row! Angelina is back! Velvet & Madison run over and hug her and then Lacey comes over and sarcastically shakes her hand. They wave at Angelina and then get back in the ring. This is a non-title match. Velvet and Hamada start the match off and Velvet mocks Hamada before the lockup. Hamada forces Velvet into the ropes and we get a clean break but when Hamada turns around to walk off Velvet grabs her by the hair and slams her to the mat and then reigns down rights on her. Velvet whips Hamada into the corner and then hits a Corner Splash followed by a Running Bulldog for a nearfall. Velvet slams Hamada into the corner and then tags in Madison. Madison hits a series of shoulder blocks in the corner and then tags Velvet back in. Velvet chokes Hamada and then BP together grab Hamada and taunt Kong by holding Hamada in the center of the ring. Hamada slips underneath them and then leg sweeps both and tags in Kong! Kong comes in and slams both BP by their hair to the mat. Kong whips Velvet into the corner and then whips Madison into her and follows up with the Corner Splash! Kong hits the Awesome Bomb on Madison! You could count to 100 on that one, Kong & Hamada get the win.
Winners: Hamada & Kong via pinfall (Awesome Bomb)
Velvet and Lacey check on Madison in the ring after the match and then Angelina jumps the guardrail and gets into the ring as well! Angelina checks on Madison but then turns around and slams Lacey to the mat hard! God, I have been waiting for someone to do that for a long time. Angelina then Spears Velvet and starts nailing her with rights and lefts and puts the boots her kicking her out of the ring! Angelina tosses Velvet into the guardrail! Angelina screams ‘you didn’t think I’d be back did you’ at Velvet.
In the back AJ bursts into Bischoff’s office and wants to know where Hogan is. Bischoff tells AJ to settle down and then says Hogan is taking care of some other business. AJ says he wants to take care of Tomko and Bischoff says he understands that. He says he doesn’t blame AJ but he asks what he proposes he do about it. AJ says he wants Tomko tonight and Bischoff can’t believe that AJ would do that with his match with Angle only 3 days away. Bischoff says he needs a Main Event tonight and if he really wants this match then he’ll put his title on the line tonight in the Main Event against Tomko and AJ tells him to ‘book it!’ They shake hands and it’s on!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
During the commercials Beer Money were looking for Bischoff. Back from commercials JB walks into Bischoff’s office and he’s on the phone with someone who he says has a ‘bright future in TNA.’ JB wants to know where Mick is and Bischoff says it was JB who let Mick in last week. He says what happened to Mick is on JB. Bischoff tells JB to take responsibility for his actions and if he wants to know where Mick is then he should find him because he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He tells JB if he ever disobeys him again it’ll be the last breath he takes in the Impact Zone. Beer Money finally find Bischoff and Roode says they don’t have a problem with he or Hogan, but they do have a problem with his boy (Outsiders & Waltman). Bischoff asks what makes them think their his boys. Storm says they are the best tag team in TNA and they don’t appreciate being jumped behind in a company they helped build. Storm demands a match with the Outsiders at Genesis! Bischoff asks Storm what he’s drinking and Storm hands him the bottle. Bischoff takes a swig of Storm’s beer and Storm and Roode can’t believe he just did that (you can’t touch Storm’s beer!). Bischoff says he’ll get back to them on the match for Genesis and then says thanks for the beer.
Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D
Lethal Consequences are making their way out to the ring for a tag match when Bobby Lashley runs out and jumps them from behind! He tosses Lethal into the ring steps and then hits a Spinebuster on Creed in the ring as Kristal looks on from the outside. Bobby hits the Dominator on Creed as Tenay & Taz talk about Lashley wanting out of his TNA contract. Kristal gets into the ring with a microphone and asks if they have Bischoff’s attention yet. She says they still haven’t had their meeting with Hogan and until they do every member of TNA’s roster will be destroyed one by one. She says this is just the beginning.
Team 3D’s music hits (they were supposed to face Lethal Consequences) and they make their way out to the ring with an axe in hand. Bubba lays Lethal out at ringside and then they hit the 3D on Creed in the ring for the pin. Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed burial complete.
Winners: 3D via pinfall (3D)
Bubba grabs the microphone and says last week they were in Japan wrestling and says that reporters in Japan asked them about the Nasty Boys showing up in TNA and calling 3D out. Bubba asks where the hell the Nasty Boys have been for the last 10 years (hilarious) and he says so Hogan comes to TNA so the Nasty Boys ride his coattails right through the front door. Bubba questions how Hogan could walk with Knobbs and Saggs ‘fat a**es sitting on his coattails’ (potting calling the kettle black there). He says they had to dress in the hallway like a couple of ‘young boys’ tonight but now they are going to go back and take their lockerroom back while holding up the axe. They leave and walk to the back! Bubba and Devon walk to the door and Bubba destroys the door with the axe. When they get in Devon asks what the smell is. The Nasty Boys then jump them from behind! The Nasty’s put the beatdown on 3D beating them with everything just about that was in the room. They then slam Devon into the lockers and Knobbs welcomes them to ‘Nastyville.’ Saggs pours a drink on Devon and then throws it at Bubba.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Tomko talks about them tagging together a few years ago and claims that he led the team and taught Styles everything he knows. He says AJ forgot about him.
Sean Morley (formerly Val Venis) makes his way out to the ring. Tenay says Abyss vs. Lashley at Genesis has just been added to Genesis. Morley tells the ladies he’s arrived and he says he and TNA were made for each other (get it?). He says he used to make a living with a different type of T&A but he says he’s a brand new man. He says he’s now a director, producer, and online distributor of some of the most creative and dramatic films ever made. Sean says that last week when he walked into TNA that’s when everything fell into place for him and he says he knew TNA was poised to explode, but they were missing one crucial element and that element is a film division. He says that’s where he comes in. He says his films will be works of art but Christopher Daniels music hits and he makes his way out to the ring. Daniels shakes Sean’s hand and then says he didn’t want to interrupt him but he wanted to be the first to welcome him in TNA. Daniels says he loves his idea and he wants to pitch a screenplay to Morley. Daniels pitches an idea about a hero doing business with a slick talking sleazebag and it has a bunch of twist and turns but he says the best part is the end when the sleazebag ends up in the gutter where he belongs. Daniels then hits an STO on Morley out of nowhere! Daniels puts the boots to Morley and then hits a Rock Bottom on him followed by the BME! Daniels tells the fans to shutup and then he says Morley will bring his ‘art’ to TNA over his dead body. Daniels says he doesn’t know how Morley got there but he can take his ‘brand of crap’ and get out of TNA. He says everything out of Morley’s mouth makes him sick and then says he didn’t fight his way back into this company to bring his filth to TNA. He is beating on Morley the whole time he’s talking trash but Morley is able to get in a right hand on Daniels and then a clothesline sending Daniels out to the floor! Morley tells Daniels to get back in the ring but he decides against it.
They show a vignette of Tara and ODB talking about their match just signed for Genesis with Tara saying that ODB cheated to win last week. It’s going to be a 2/3 Falls Match! Jeff Jarrett arrives to Impact with somebody in a suit.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
“Super Mex” Hernandez & “The Blueprint” Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money Inc.
Tenay says this Sunday Hernandez & Morgan get a shot at the Brits for the Tag Titles! Okay can someone explain to me why L.A.X. was broken up if they were just going to have Hernandez be put right back into a tag team? They keep referring to Outsiders & Syxx as “The Band”, is that what they are actually calling themselves? Storm and Hernandez will start this match off and they lockup in the ring but Hernandez quickly slams Storm into the mat. Hernandez then charges at Storm but he ducks and nails him with a big Uppercut! Storm then charges at Hernandez but he backdrops Storm over the top only to eat a Leaping Enziguri from the apron followed by a Neckbreark from Storm! 1…2…NO Hernandez kicks out! Roode tags back in and Beer Money hits the Beer Money Double Suplex! As they did their taunt Hernandez tagged in Morgan and he hit a Double Clothesline on them! Morgan hits a series of knees and back elbows on Roode in the corner and then hits a Corner Splash followed by a Sidewalk Slam. Roode comes back with a knee to the gut on Morgan and he tags in Storm. They whip Morgan into the ropes and go for a double clothesline but Morgan runs through it and then grabs Beer Money by their throats! They block the Double Chokeslam only to eat a Slingshot Double Clothesline from the apron by Hernandez! Morgan tosses Storm out to the floor and Roode is coming back on Hernandez with chops but he eats a nasty Shoulder Block that sends Roode out to the floor too! Hernandez takes to the air with the Super Mex Dive over the top onto Beer Money! Rob Terry jumps Hernandez on the outside causing the DQ!
Winners: Morgan & Hernandez via DQ
Morgan and Hernandez beat on Terry up the ramp and through the tunnel as Beer Money is pissed in the ring at what just went down. Now The Band is walking down to the ring! Pac is the first in the ring and he jumps Storm but they take him out and Nash comes in now to even up the odds! Hall is and he gives The Band the advantage. The Band starts beating on Beer Money! Roode makes a mini comeback but they take him out again. Security finally comes out to break everything up and then Bischoff’s music hits and he makes his way out to the ramp!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials they show replays of the beating The Band just put on Beer Money and then we see footage of Bischoff talking to Beer Money. He tells them to be careful for what you wish for. Back ‘live’ Bischoff is in the ring now with The Band. Bischoff says he doesn’t know what to do with them, last week it was Foley and this wee it’s Beer Money. Pac says he thought that’s what Bischoff wanted but he says no that’s not true. Bischoff says the only thing that makes sense to him is to make a match, and Hall interrupts him and says “where I drink all that guys beer”. Wow, Scott really? Bischoff says the match he’s making is Hall & Nash vs. Beer Money for Genesis! We get a shot of Sting looking down on The Band again.
Backstage Tomko talks about when he suffered a shoulder injury while he sat home with AJ’s star starting to rise. He says he called AJ and he never called him back when AJ won the belt. Tomko says he feels that AJ was saying that he didn’t need him so that’s when he decided to make AJ remember what his role in TNA really is.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials they show more shots of Sting in the rafters again.
Desmond Wolfe vs. “Samoan Submission Machine” Samoa Joe
D’Angelo Dinero is at ringside on commentary and Tenay says they will have a rematch at Genesis. I guarantee certain people on the internet will talk about TNA is already forgetting about Joe’s title shot because he doesn’t bring the briefcase to the ring with him (despite Tenay and Taz talking about it everything he’s on TV). Joe and Wolfe lockup and Joe throws Wolfe into the corner and starts throwing a series of nasty jabs, body shots, and kicks! Joe whips Wolfe into the corner and hits a Running Back Elbow followed by a Leaping Enziguri! Joe then stomps on Wolfe in the corner but Wolfe comes back with an elbow to the gut and then a European Uppercut and a forearm smash. Wolfe comes off the ropes but eats a Snap Powerslam from Joe! Joe slams Wolfe into the top turnbuckle and then lights him up with a chop and then locks in the Coquina Clutch but Wolfe quickly backs Joe into the corner and hits a back elbow. Wolfe then goes for a Running Clothesline but Joe hits a Standing Rock Bottom in midair! Joe picks Wolfe up and hits a headbutt and then a jab and follows up with an Irish Whip into the corner, but Wolfe boots his boot up in the corner stopping his momentum. Joe goes for a clothesline but Wolfe rolls underneath it and charges at Joe again. Joe again counters with the Rock Bottom in mid air but this time Wolfe counters it into a Side Headlock Takeover! Wolfe then hits a Superkick followed by the Hammerlock DDT! Wolfe hits the Running European Uppercut on Joe in the corner and then charges again but Joe hits a back elbow and then front kick. Joe climbs to the top but Wolfe quickly runs over and punches him in the gut. Wolfe goes for the Tower of London but Joe blocks it and locks in the Coquina Clutch on the top rope! Wolfe fights the hold and is able to reverse into the Tower of London! 1…2…3 and Wolfe gets the clean pin!
Winner: Wolfe via pinfall (Tower of London)
After the match Wolfe screams at Pope and says if he can beat Joe think about what he can do to him. He says he will destroy Pope but this Sunday he’ll get ‘funky like a donkey’ and drops a coupled of expletives on Wolfe.
Outside the arena we see Ric Flair arrive in a limo!
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Tomko talks about the attacks on AJ and says he even teamed with AJ a few weeks ago in a 10-Man Tag to fool everybody. He says now there’s no more masks its just him and AJ and he finally gets a title shot.
Jarrett and the guy he brought with him bursts into Hogan & Bischoff’s office where we see Hogan for the first time tonight. Jarrett says they need to talk but Hogan tries to tell him he’s busy and Jarrett responds by shoving everything off Hogan’s desk and saying that he’s doing the talking! Jarrett says he wants to talk about HIS company, the one he founded and put on his back. Jarrett then tells Bischoff to go take a seat because it doesn’t have anything to do with him. Jarrett says that last week Hogan said Dixie Carter gave the young guys in TNA a chance but none of them are worth a damn, never have been and never will be! Jarrett says there isn’t enough talent in TNA to fill a coffee cup. He says it’s him and it’s always been him. Jarrett says that’s why he has his attorney and he wants every word that’s said tonight and what was said last week. He says that Hogan is close to defamation of character but Hogan asks what character Jarrett has. Jarrett says he has a ton of character and Hogan knows it. He says he founded TNA and Bischoff cuts him off and says he is so sick of him saying how he founded TNA and put his blood and sweat into it. Bischoff says if he wants to hear facts and he says that the facts are that TNA would’ve been out of business in 3 weeks if it wasn’t for Dixie Carter. He says Jarrett conned Dixie and every wrestler that’s been in TNA into believing that he had some magic potion to turn everything around. Bischoff says TNA will turn around but it’ll turn around because of he and Hogan, not because of Jarrett. He tells Jarrett to take his con up the street or he can lace up his boots and compete like everybody else. Jarrett tells Bischoff to sit down and shutup again. Jarrett asks Hogan if he’s going to sit behind that desk and let Bischoff run this company and he gets up and says that he signed a contract to run TNA but nothing in it says he can’t kick Jarrett’s “hillbilly a**.” Hogan suggests that Jarrett gets to stepping and he and his lawyer back out of Hogan’s office, but Jarrett says they haven’t heard the last of him. Bischoff says Jarrett needs an attitude adjustment and Hogan says they’ll help that out.
At ringside Tenay and Taz hype up Genesis. The card will be Amazing Red defending his X-Division Title against a mystery opponent, Wolfe vs. Pope, Lashley vs. Abyss, The Outsiders vs. Beer Money, ODb vs. Tara in a 2/3 Falls Match, Morgan & Hernandez against the Brits, and finally AJ-Angle the rematch if AJ retains the title tonight! Also a major talent acquisition will be revealed.
Ric Flair’s music hits and he comes out to a huge ovation!
Main Event
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
“The Phenomenal” AJ Styles (c) vs. Tomko
Flair is at ringside on commentary for this match. Flair says he had never met AJ before so he just wanted to meet him last week and that’s all it was: the greatest World Champion ever meeting the World Champion now. AJ was pacing back and forth as JB starting the usual boxing-style intros and he just couldn’t wait anymore and jumps Tomko before the first introduction can be made! AJ throws several rights at Tomko followed by knees as well until Tomko shoves him off. Tomko goes for a clothesline but AJ ducks and throws more rights and kicks forcing Tomko to bail out to the floor. AJ follows him out and slams Tomko’s hand down on the ringsteps and then slams it into the post. Back in the ring AJ throws more rights at Tomko in the corner and then a series of knees as we see Kurt Angle walking out towards the ring as AJ chokes Tomko in the corner. AJ then hits a Running Dropkick and then notices Angle walking toward the ring. This allows Tomko to come back and throw AJ out to the ring. Angle walks up to the announce table and gives a handshake and a hug to Flair. Tomko drags AJ back into the ring and hits a Running Powerslam for a nearfall. Tomko with rights and chops on AJ in the corner and then AJ comes back with a body shot followed by more rights to the head. AJ comes off the ropes and ducks a clothesline but then eats a Big Boot from Tomko for another nearfall.
—COMMERCIAL BREAK—
Back from commercials Tomko hits a Snap Powerslam, 1…2…NO AJ kicks out! Tomko chokes AJ in the ring repeatedly as the referee tries to pull him off. AJ comes back with rights and lefts but Tomko cuts him off with a knee and then goes for a Powerslam but AJ blocks it and hits an Enziguri followed by the Pele out of nowhere! 1…2…3 and AJ retains!
Winner & STILL World Champ: Styles via pinfall (Pele)
After the match AJ continues to beat on Tomko but when he turned to grab his belt Tomko jumps him! Angle runs in the ring and chases Tomko off! Angle picks up AJ’s belt and hands it back to him. Flair takes off his headset and looks at AJ. AJ looks back at Flair as Angle offers a handshake and AJ walks away from Angle. Flair smiles at that and nods his head as AJ walks up the ramp. Angle looks on at what just went down as Flair looks back.
A hype video for AJ-Angle is shown to end Impact and it was pretty good with both AJ and Angle talking about the match. A lot like the Beyond the Glory stuff they did for Bound for Glory. Just a note that from here forth TNA Epics will be following Impact every week. It’s a best of kind of show that shows some of the best matches in TNA’s history. Tonight’s is based around Kurt Angle (featuring his bout with Jeff Jarrett, his Last Man Standing against AJ in 2008, and his first PPV match against Joe). All the matches are introduced with both competitors in the match talking about it.
We’ve got a tag team match for the main event. Four guys who shouldn’t like each other are teaming with Shelton Benjamin teaming with Christian to take on Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekial Jackson. Apparently pummeling the boss and only other employee isn’t firing grounds
World Heavyweight Champion Undertaker vs. Big Show vs. Chris Jericho (Triple Threat Match):
JT: Jericho over Undertaker & Big Show
Drowgoddess: Undertaker wins. Either Jericho or Show will cost the other the win, and they’ll continue to fall apart as a tag team. Taker’s not losing anything at this point.
ThinkSoJoE: I think we all know who’s prying that belt from the cold, dead hands of The Undertaker – and it’s not Chris Jericho or The Big Show. Somebody had a feud over the World Heavyweight Championship with The Undertaker that never had a proper finish, and he just turned heel. Expect ‘Taker to walk out with the gold in tact.
Rey Mysterio vs. Batista
JT: Batista eats Mysterio then gets injured
Drowgoddess: Batista wins. ‘Nuff said.
ThinkSoJoE: I don’t think it’s so much a question of who is going to win, but more of if this match is going to live up to the buildup. Batista made Rey sign a hold-harmless agreement – Since I’m pretty confident The Animal is taking this one, he’d better leave Mysterio half dead in the center of the ring.
Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, & Christian) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase Jr. , CM Punk, & William Regal) :Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match:
JT: Team Orton over Team Kingston
Drowgoddess: This is a tough call. I really don’t care about the teams as a whole, but I’m a tremendous fan of both Kofi Kingston and CM Punk. I’m essentially chosing between them. I’ll go with Team Kofi to win, as Punk has not been the same since his World title loss to Undertaker. Neither he nor the team of which he is a part will win here.
ThinkSoJoE: Randy Orton’s got a reputation to uphold. He’s been the sole survivor a few times at the Survivor Series, so I’m kind of leaning towards that happening here. Orton will stand alone and still manage to win.
Team Morrison (John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, & Finlay) vs. Team Miz (The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger) : Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match
JT: Team Morrison over Team Miz
Drowgoddess: Why is this ppv sounding so much like the “Twilight” movies? Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team This, Team That. At least these guys don’t sparkle in sunlight. With the possible exception of Sheamus. Like anyone’s going to tell him! In any case, despite the level of fandom I have for both Morrison and Bourne, I’m going with Team Miz to win here. Sheamus and McIntyre are absolute BEASTS, Swagger and Ziggler can play the technical game, and The Miz is simply awesome.
ThinkSoJoE: Miz beat Morrison at Bragging Rights – Morrison should get his revenge here. The way I see it, Morrison can pin The Miz here, and then maybe they run into – and eliminate – each other at the Royal Rumble setting up a WrestleMania match. For what it’s worth, I also see Team Miz imploding and costing themselves the match.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels (Triple Threat Match)
JT: Cena over D-X, yeah I said it.
Drowgoddess: *YAWN* I so don’t care. Honestly, I’m not being smarky, I sincerely don’t care the slightest little bit about this match or who wins it. Considering what I predicted in the World title 3-way above, HBK steals a win from underneath HHH, and the DX split takes front and center.
ThinkSoJoE: I’m going to get heat for this, I know it – but Shawn Michaels is the best professional wrestler in the world today. It’s been years since HBK had a title run, and I’d love to see it happen here, but since this match was just randomly thrown together by two guys who turn left for a living and a leprechaun, I’m fully expecting Cena to win.
Team Mickie (Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Melina, & Gail Kim) vs. Team Michelle (Michelle McCool, Jillian Hall, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, & Layla) :Traditional Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match
JT: F@^& the Divas Match
Drowgoddess: Another yawner for me, since I have no interest in nailing any of these women. I love Beth Phoenix, and she’s so much better than this, but I’m choosing Team Mickie. Mickie, Gail Kim, and, to a lesser extent, Melina, can actually wrestle. Plus, I live for the day that Michelle McCool gets hit by an 18-wheeler hauling toxic waste. Don’t mistake that for heel heat. She’s not that good. It’s “get off my tv and out of my world” heat.
ThinkSoJoE: So wait, let me see if I’ve got this right. Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, and Layla all got into this match, but Natalya, one of the few women on the roster who can actually wrestle, didn’t? Who books this crap? My prediction is half the audience gets up and goes to use the restroom during this one.
Bring some snacks and settle in, peeps!
AJ Styles is now TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Samoa Joe is still X-Division Champion. Sarita and Taylor Wilde are the first-ever Knockouts Tag Team Champions.
Now what?
Join your Empress of “Impact” in crossing the nearest line to find out!
It’s line-crossing time!!!
It seems that Joe wants the week off, and with my power due to go off at any minute. I’m doing Real-Time this week, for the second week in three.
Stay tuned to BWF, as I watch NCIS.
The search for HBK is on! My guess is, he’s in a bar having a few brewskis. I know it’s never going to happen, but come on WWE, swerve us will you?
This RAW is from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Where a certain someone was born to wrestle, and bred to win. All rise for the playing of the Canadian National Anthem.
Randy Orton starts us off. He’s been hearing rumours, apparently. Were they rumours, or the Voices in your head Randy? My namesake goes on about how it’s no rumour that he’s gonna beat John Cena at Summerslam, and that seemed to be the lightbulb in the head of the challenger, as Cena comes out. Cena wants Orton to bully him, that right there proves that John Cena is not a ladies man. Johnny boy gets up close and personal with the son of Cowboy Bob, and this brings out JeriShow, with the single worst entrance music in the history of entrance music.
Show finds it amusing that Cena and Orton are up close and personal with each other. Show speaks, but there’s a Canadian in the ring, so the crowd chant for Jericho. Cena makes a Shaq joke, then asks why have the Tag Team champions made their presence. Jericho plugs Canada, then tells Cena he’s got a one-on-one match against him. Randy gets his two bobs in, but Big Show cuts him off, telling RKO that its gonna be Show and Orton one-on-one.
The Sarge sounds like he needs a cough drop to soothe that throat. This brings us to commercial.
Ooh look, there’s a vote. Who did the Sarge beat for the WWE Championship? Savage, Hogan or Warrior. Shouldn’t the question be, which one will be the first to appear on WWE RAW?
MATCH#1: Four-Way Divas – Winner gets a Divas Title shot
Kelly Kelly vs Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim vs Beth Phoenix
If you want to find out what actually happens, in this match, find someone who cares about the WWE Women’s division, I’m off to get food.
As I return from not paying attention to the match. I hear Cole describe Kim as ‘elastic-like’, and I hear more grunting than Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. You’ve gotta love it don’t you? It has appeared for weeks that Beth Phoenix will face Mickie James for the belt, and yet …
YOUR WINNER: Gail Kim
It’s the first ever TNA KnockOuts champion who gets the victory.
Out comes Slaughter to pretty much zero reaction from the crowd. He starts off by sucking up to Canada, and saluting the C anadian flag? Has the Sarge turned on the U.S. for the second time in his career? Of course not. Sarge turns on his newly made friends, by saying if it wasn’t for the U.S., they would be speaking Russian and French now. Infact, most of them speak French. Now Sarge wants Canadians to pay respect to the United States. Looks like Slaughter’s playing bad guy tonight.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, and a recap of Triple H announcing he’s reforming DX for SummerSlam, and how trips travelled to Texas to find him. Yip.
MATCH#2: Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne
The rubber match between the two. This match will go no longer than five minutes. I guarantee it.
Swagger uses his power advantage early on, until Bourne uses his speed advantage to control the match. Swagger with a submission hold, but Bourne escapes and attack with some kicks, ending with a near fall. Swagger looks for the powerbomb, but Evan counters into a roll-up for a near fall. Swagger introduces his opponent to the turnbuckle as hard as he possibly can, and one Gutwrench Powerbomb later, and Dusty Rhodes gets the pin.
YOUR WINNER: Jack Swagger.
Told you the match would be quick. Swagger on the mic, and after he talks. Here comes MVP. He doesn’t care that Dusty is a 2-time All-American, the Canadians don’t care. Nobody cares. MVP challenges Swagger to a match tonight. Swagger wants it next week, but MVP isnt happy and pushes Swagger out of the ring.
Don’t forget. Orton vs Show, Jericho vs Cena and the hunt for the Christian. Still to come.
COMMERCIAL
Back, and we’re hunting Christians. H hits on a guy, and scores. A little girl wants a hamburger, and it’s Texas Chef HBK. H is shocked. I think it’s lame-i-fied.
Here comes the Sarge again. He has bought us Celine Dion to sing the Canadian National Anthem. That’s a lie, as it’s really Jillian. I’d prefer Jillian to Celine Dion.
COMMERCIAL
Why is Vince plugging Monk?
Back from commercial, and it’s a contract on a pole match? Vince Russo IS writing for the WWE.
MATCH#3: Contract on a Pole
Eugene vs Calgary Kid
Eugene channels his inner Rock, and hits the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow, but that doesnt affect the Calgary Kid. Calgary Kid knocks Eugene off the ropes and grabs the contract.
YOUR WINNER: Calg…
Wait a minute, that isn’t the Calgary Kid. He just hit the Stroke!
YOUR WINNER: Jeff Jarr..
Wait a minute, that’s not the Chosen One, it’s …
YOUR WINNER: The Miz
The Miz is back on RAW, so what was the point of last week?
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with the Rewind, Show beating the hell out of Kofi last week.
MATCH#4: Randy Orton vs the Big Show
Big Show has been borrowing John Tenta’s ring attire.
Show gets up close and personal to Orton, but Randy backs away. Maybe Orton only likes it when it’s Cena close to him. Randy Orton has had a grand total of zero offence so far in this match. I’ve been in and out during this match, so I have missed sections. I get back to see RKO looking for just that, the RKO, but Show blocks it. Show connects with the Chokeslam, but Orton is too close to the ropes, and gets his foot on the rope, when Show goes for the fall. Big Show goes for the fist, but Orton ducks under and heads out of the ring, and deliberately gets counted out.
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: Big Show
Hunting for Christians Part Two
Shawn gets tater tots thrown in his face. Also, he can’t cook. When I worked in the food industry, I never burned the grill like that. I only saw someone smash a light globe into the fry vats.
COMMERCIAL
Another pointless Did You Know? from the folks at WWE.
MATCH#5: MVP vs Chris Masters
MVP doesn’t get to fight Swagger, instead he gets the Masterpiece.
Masters with the assualt on MVP in the early going. He continues the advantage until he applies a chinlock-type hold, then MVP gets the momentum. MVP’s jumpsuit is as bright as Mark Henry’s costume last week. Masters goes for the Masterlock, but MVP counters into the Playmaker!!
YOUR WINNER: MVP
Enter the Swagger. The All-American American causes a long enough distraction for the Masterlock to be applied. Once that’s done, Swagger hits his Powerbomb.
A pop for Piven and Dr. Ken and their publicity run last week.
COMMERCIAL: They love these during a broadcast, don’t they?
Back again, and it’s time for …
Hunting for Christians, Part Three
Shawn’s hired Hunter to help him flip burgers. Shawn Sweet Chins his boss. An old lady tells me to suck it, and Shawn Sweet Chin’s a little girl.
Enter the Sarge yet again, and he cues the music of the Hitman. But no, it’s not Bret Hart, it’s Jim Duggan, complete with American flag.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, with the Slam of the Week. Mark Henry vs Chavo Guerrero from last week.
MATCH#6: Hornswoggle and Mark Henry vs ??
Chavo was meant to be competing, but he is ‘injured’, so he calls on Legacy to take his place.
Henry gets the upper hand, before Legacy start the dissecting. However, that is short lives, as Henry regains control. World’s Strongest Slam on DiBiase, the tag to Hornswoggle for the Splash, but DiBiase gets out of the way and Cody takes out Henry. One Dream Street later, and it’s bye bye to the Woggle.
YOUR WINNERS: Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes.
After the match, Legacy grab mics and book themselves to do the J.O.B to DX at SummerSlam.
We’re back with a rundowm of the SummerSlam card, then Josh Matthews interviews Chris Jericho. Jericho says he’s winning for Calgary, then Show arrives. BIg Show bitches about how Orton ran off on him, Jericho bags out Calgary. Matthews tells Jericho the cameras are still rolling. Jericho feels like a tool.
COMMERCIAL
Next week’s RAW Guest Host. Former WWE writer, Freddie Prinze Jr.
MAIN EVENT: Chris Jericho vs John Cena
Cena gains the early momentum, until Jericho takes over. Cena ends up outside the ring, where Y2J introduces him to the ring steps. Jericho then applies a Camel Clutch, just because Sarge is guest host. Back in the ring, and Cena somehow gains control. He looks for the shuffle, but Jericho rolls him up for the two. Jericho misses with the Lionsault, but doesn’t with the Walls attempt. Cena counters into the STF, but Orton comes and breaks it up before the Ayatollah of Rock ‘n Rollah can tap, causing the DQ.
YOUR WINNER BY DQ: John Cena
Cena gets in Orton’s face, but eats a CodeBreaker from Jericho. Jericho shoves Orton, so Jericho gets knocked down. Enter Show. Chokeslam to Orton. Sarge comes out and announces JeriShow vs Cena and Orton for next week, as we end.
There, even though the servers for BWF crashed during this broadcast, I did my best to bring you the action.
Hey everybody…let’s get this thing started.
Match 1: Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo…Its your boys, Cryme Time accompanied by Eve Torres against the Hart Dynasty
Shad and David Hart Smith start the match off. DH is huge, but Shad is gigantic! The Hart Dynasty works on Shad’s knee after a chop block by Tyson Kidd. Once Shad gets the tag, JTG gets the pin on Tyson Kidd after a chaotic sequence that ended in a modified back breaker.
Rey Rey is out to address the Intercontinental title situation. Obviously Dolph Ziggler is going to be his opponent at Night of Champions. Ziggler comes out to remind people what his name is. Challenge made for NoC…challenge accepted for NoC. Rey Mysterio vs Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental title at Night of Champions. A fight ensues and Dolph Ziggler runs away from Rey Mysterio. What??? I forgot that Rey Rey is that scary.
Match 2: Diva match between Katie Lea and Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella
Diva wrestling = Crap…Anyway, the twins confuse the referee and one of them gets the rollup win on Katie Lea
Main Event: United States Champ Kofi Kingston against the Big Show
Big Show dominates early on. Shouldn’t Show be in the World Title hunt? Big Show dominates the middle of the match. Shouldn’t Show be in the World Title hunt? Kofi tries to fight back, but Big Show shuts him back down. After a miss in the corner, Kofi tries to come back again, but Show shuts him down again. The quickness of Kofi takes Show down. Trouble in Paradise is blocked and Show Chokeslams the US Champ. Big Show gets the win.
Why is Big Show taking out Kofi on every televised show, only to lose to him at NoC? Shouldn’t he be in the World Title picture? Why isn’t Ted DiBiase taking on Kofi right now? Otherwise, the show saw random rivalries resume for no real reason. Bella Twins vs Katie Lea = random diva rivalry. Hart Dynasty vs Cryme Time = random tag team rivalry unless it leads to a number one contenders match.
Alrighty then folks…join me again for next week’s random mess otherwise known as WWE Superstars.
ECW’s not on until Thursday this week? Now what will people do? How can you survive two days without anything wrestling in your lives? I understand several people have been doing this.
First of all, I’d just like to say that I am sick and tired of hearing about him. Sure, his effect in the history of the world will not go un-noticed, but hearing about him all week has boiled my blood. Although I’m shocked about one thing. I’m surprised I haven’t heard more comparisions with this man.
Anyways, onto slightly more important matters. Is anyone shocked that the Main Event of Night of Champions has become a Triple Threat match between Randy Orton, Triple H and John Cena? I’m not, but Orton will still win. Maybe a H/Cena feud will ensue from this match?
Edge has been injured and is out for what is rumoured to be anywhere between six months to a year. This is bad news considering that the Tag Team of himself and Jericho was just beginning and starting to get it’s wheels in motion, and then this happens. Just what will happen to the Tag Titles now? Will they go to DiBiase and Rhodes, their opponents for Night of Champions? Nobody knows at the moment, not even me. Let’s just hope that this doesn’t send Jericho into obscurity.
Do you like pandas? Then click here. I dare you.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you, the unclickable LINK!
*insert weekly Kurt Angle reference here* If you don’t mention him, then he comes after you at night time. He will watch you in your sleep.
Myra Hindley became my facebook friend. Not only is she my babysitter, but she’s been dead for about seven years now. It just shows you, the dead use facebook.
Has anyone else notices that this column is starting to turn into JT’s column, rather than my own? Well, according to the poll, people read JT’s column more than anyone else’s. However, not even JT would post something like this, or say that how he once had a friend who dated a cannibal. He didnt know she was, nobody did. That was, until the one night she went down on him.
It’s my birthday tomorrow, or Thursday the 9th of the seventh month, for those reading this on a non-Wednesday or past the date in question. Celebrate it whichever you wish. I choose to celebrate it by skidding out on a very icy road, and bending up the wishbone among other things on my car. That is a true story.
Did you know that Catholic Girls take LSD?
Does anyone remember the Sooty Show? With Soo and Sweet? The Puppets? If you don’t, this might help. However, this will help.
Finally tonight, the most important thing to remember is, is that we can be friends, and that’s the most important thing. See you next week!