It appears that everyone else has forgotten about the little one-hour show every Tuesday nights on Syfy called ECW, so I am here to catch you up.
8/11 RESULTS
Shelton Benjamin def. Zack Ryder
After last week’s actions in the Abraham Washington show between the two, it was Benjamin who got the win with the Pay Dirt.
Paul Birchill attacks Gregory Helms, accusing him of being the masked superhero who has been coming to the rescue in recent weeks.
Vladimir Kozlov def. Random Jobber #1
After Kozlov won, Ezekial Jackson also beat down Random Jobber, causing a staredown between the two.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Birchill via DQ
Birchill’s valet, Katie-Lea got involved, causing the DQ. After the match, the Hurricane came to the ring and attacked Birchill.
Tyler Reks def. Random Jobber #2
Not much to say, really.
On the Abraham Washington show, William Regal was announced as #1 contender for Christian’s ECW Championship. Nothing wrong with Regal being #1 contender, but someone should mute Abraham Washington.
William Regal def. Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer, still suffering injuries from the Extreme Rules match with Christian the week previously, fell to the man from Blackpool, England.
8/19 RESULTS
The Hurricane def. Paul Birchill
In his first offical match back, the Hurricane is victorious after hitting the Eye Of The Hurricane.
The Abraham Washington show featured Goldust, and then Sheamus. Sheamus calls Goldust lucky for beating him on Superstars, a stare down followed.
Zack Ryder def. Yoshi Tatsu
Ryder won after the Zack Attack. Does ECW have more than 10 guys on the roster?
ECW Champion Christian and Ezekial Jackson def. William Regal and Vladimir Kozlov by DQ
Dreamer was scheduled to be the Champ’s partner, but he was beat down by Regal and Kozlov earlier, so Christian chose Big Zeke, who proceeded to join Regal and Kozlov in a 3-on-1 assault on Christian.
That’s ECW all caught up. Tune in next week, for more ECW action.
Wow what a week. Happy whatever you are celebrating in your part of the world and welcome to the best couple of minutes you never get back. Well lets hope this will be the last week in a while that I have to start of with this: (more…)
Here I go again. In my weekly column, I wrote how I shouldn’t write two columns in a night. Well, this is my third.
Word of warning, I have not watched ECW prior to this review.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Shelton Benjamin
Yoshi Tatsu is the full name of the little green dinosaur from Mario. Why he’s wrestling in ECW now is beyond me. It could be because they lost most of their talent in the trade, but none-the-less, let’s see if the rest of his buddies join him in the coming weeks. Can you imagine Wario vs Tommy Dreamer?
The debut of “the Abraham Washington show”
Wasn’t he a President of the United States? Wow, a former President on ECW. Too bad they didn’t get a decent one, because this guy sucked. If the Simpsons can get George Bush Sr. and Gerald Ford in the same episode, then the WWE can get a decent former President, like Bill Clinton. That way, the Bella twins, whom were the guests, could’ve done something useful for the first time in their WWE careers.
Sheamus def. some random, let’s say … Billy Jack Haynes
This guy is a white man, with four man-boobs. If you don’t believe me, go to the ECW photos at WWE.com, and look at pic #26. You tell me that isn’t another set. He’s also Irish. So was Brendan Behan, and so is Finlay, as is Hornswoggle. Three Irishmen in the WWE. Just thought I’d mention it.
William Regal and Vladimir Kozlov def. ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer and Christian
A Brit and a Russian versus and American and a Canadian. I thought the Brit’s were on the Americans side? Either way, Tommy Dreamer took the loss, because he realized that he wasn’t Edge, so Christian couldn’t be cool. Good to see Regal finally get used, whether or not this lasts remains to be seen is another thing.
That’s it for this multi-cultural version of ECW, someone else will do a much better job of reviewing ECW than me next week I’m sure. Until then, stay tuned for Superstars and iMPACT later in the week, and read my column!
Alright, here’s hoping I can review this show with no issues. Tonight it’s CM Punk defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy, and Randy Orton defending the WWE Championship against Triple H in a Three Stages of Hell match.
Ok, maybe not, but it is in real-time, so don’t forget to refresh the page every so often if you’re visiting between 10PM and 11PM Eastern on June 23, 2009!
ECW theme plays: Look, new ECW. I just brought up the original ECW, how can I not question your heart?
Five nights away from The Bash, where Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Christian, Finlay, and ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer will attempt to walk out as champion in a Scramble match!
But tonight, Evan Bourne is here with taped up ribs due to injuries suffered at the hands of The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. Bourne’s opponent is The Hart Dynasty’s Tyson Kidd.
Evan Bourne def. Tyson Kidd
Matt Striker assumes that if he presses Triangle and L1, Kidd or Bourne will do something exciting, since they’re almost like video game characters with their high flying offense. David Hart Smith and Natalya hopped up on the apron at the same time, earning themselves an ejection from the referee. Bourne knocks Kidd out of the ring and hits a high-flying maneuver to the outside, earning himself a classic “ECW” chant! Back in the ring, however, Kidd goes after the injured ribs of Bourne. Kidd stretches Bourne as only a Hart Dungeon graduate can do, but Bourne reverses a back suplex attempt into a pin attempt for one. Kidd doesn’t let this minor setback impede his progress, he goes right back after Bourne’s ribs, driving his knee into them and then draping Bourne across the top rope. Bourne starts to battle back amid “Let’s Go Evan” chants. Bourne uses a unique rollup to score a two count and starts to build momentum. Bourne hits a hurricanrana and a Tito Santana-esque flying forearm before taking Kidd down with a high knee. He climbs the ropes and launches a picture perfect Shooting Star Press for the victory! Excellent match to kick off ECW!
A lot of people are saying Finlay took cheap shots on Tommy Dreamer and Christian last week – but they don’t mention the shot on Jack Swagger. The show a video of the cheap shots in question – including the cheap shot on Swagger that I mentioned.
Speaking of Finlay, he’s on his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
For some ungodly reason, Finlay still has Hornswoggle’s music. I know this because he’s on his way to the ring as I type this. And apparently, he’s got something to say. People want to know what his problem is and why he did what he did to Christian and Dreamer. He tried to break up a fight between the two of them a few weeks back, and nobody called him to apologize – they texted him. What he did last week wasn’t a cheap shot, it was an eye for an eye, and this Sunday at The Bash…
Oh radio, tell me everything you know…
Zack Ryder tells Finlay to listen up, because Finlay’s overlooking the fact that he’s got a match with the man of ECW, Zack Ryder. Woo Woo Woo, you know it. Whatever that means.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Finlay def. Zack Ryder
The match is underway when we come back, and Finlay is in control. As Matt Striker says, Finlay is looking to make Ryder’s Woo Woo Woo turn backwards into Ow Ow Ow. Finlay attempts to wear down Ryder with submission holds and fierce strikes. Ryder starts to battle back after he and Finlay inadvertantly cracked heads, which seemed to hurt Finlay’s injured eye. Ryder starts to work over the Irishman with submission holds of his own. Mr. Woo Woo Woo goes after the injured eye, wearing Finlay down. Finlay starts to fight back with a barrage of strikes. He hits the Finlay Roll but only gets a two count. Ryder goes after the eye again, and exposes the steel turnbuckle as the referee checks on Finlay, but Finlay manages to catch Ryder with a surprise roll up for the victory!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
RAW REBOUND: Randy Orton and Triple H both failed to answer the referee’s ten count, thus allowing Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship. Donald Trump sold RAW back to Mr. McMahon for twice what he paid for it. Mr. McMahon then told Randy Orton he’s going to wrestle in Three Stages of Hell at The Bash, defending his title once again against Triple H, who assaulted him in the parking lot after the show.
Josh Matthews and Matt Striker run down the card for The Bash.
Striker gets in the ring and has a blackboard illustrating the ECW Championship Scramble match with him. Your teacher teaches us the rules of the match. He then welcomes Gregory Helms, who is standing by backstage with Mark Henry. Henry starts to talk about tonight’s main event, when a large box falls on a production assistant. When Henry turns back around, Helms is gone, and The Hurricane is saving the production assistant! When Henry turns back around again, Helms is there and asks him again how he feels about his match tonight.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Jack Swagger is the first man out for tonight’s main event, followed by his tag team partner for the evening, Mark Henry. The ECW Champion Tommy Dreamer makes his way out first for his team. Christian makes his way out and we’re set for our main event of the evening.
Tommy Dreamer & Christian vs. Mark Henry & Jack Swagger
Christian and Swagger start off with Christian taking early control. He tags in Dreamer who doesn’t fare as well, until Swagger tags in Mark Henry. Dreamer knocks Henry out of the ring and dumps an incoming Swagger out as well. Dreamer hits the rolling senton from the apron on Henry and Christian hits a cross body from the top onto Swagger, and the “ECW” chants start up again as we head to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Swagger is pounding away on Christian as we come back, but Christian starts to battle back. Dreamer gets the tag in, and starts dominating. Christian inadvertently causes distracts the referee, however, allowing Mark Henry to sneak in and attack Dreamer from behind, which gives Swagger the opportunity to take over and tag in the World’s Strongest Man. Swagger and Henry make the ghost of Gorilla Monsoon proud by cutting the ring in half and using frequent tags to keep a fresh man in the ring, but Swagger finds himself caught with a Dreamer spinebuster. Swagger gets to Henry first, but Dreamer gets to Christian soon after. Captain Charisma takes Henry down with a missile dropkick from the top rope and gets a two count. Christian goes for a sunset flip on Henry, but Swagger tags himself in. Henry goes to sit on Christian, who moves, but Swagger, the legal man, goes for a Gutwrench Powerbomb, which Christian escapes before hitting the Killswitch. Swagger was close enough to the ropes for Tony Atlas to pull his foot under the rope. Henry squashes Christian on the outside, allowing Swagger to hit the Gutwrench on a second attempt to pick up the win.
After the match, Henry drops Dreamer with a World’s Strongest Slam, and then gives one to Jack Swagger for good measure.
My Thoughts: THE HURRICANE IS BACK! This show is usually awesome enough, but to actually see The Hurricane on my television made it that much better for me.
ECW is consistently one of the best shows every week. There’s a reason for that – the talent. Twice tonight, ECW chants broke out in the crowd. It may not be the original, as I alluded to earlier in this post, but it’s still an extremely (no pun intended) enjoyable professional wrestling program.
An ECW review? On Bored Wrestling Fan? Yes folks, I’m finally back to watching the silver brand of World Wrestling Entertainment on a weekly basis, and for the first time in quite a while, I’m reviewing it!
Being the last WWE Superstars before “Extreme Rules,” this review also comes with predictions for the ppv. Let’s do it!
Match 1: The Bizzare One and the Midget (Goldust and the Midget) teaming up against THE Brian Kendrick and Jaime Noble
Believe it or not, even Hornswoggle doesn’t make Kendrick and Noble look big. Noble has to have bad memories of the little troll beating him for the Cruiserweight title. Anyways…Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash on Spanky for the win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
CM Punk over Umaga in the Samoan Strap Match. Punk hits the GTS and drags the Samoan Bulldozer around the ring.
Santina over Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match. Mickie James and Kelly Kelly help Santino’s “twin sister” get the win.
Match 2: David Hart Smith vs. Tommy Dreamer. Christian doing commentary.
I hate the Hart Dynasty music. They need to just use the old music. As the referee was distracted by Christian grabbing a chair out of Natalya’s hands, Tyson Kidd kicked Dreamer in the head and David Hart Smith picks up the cheap win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
ECW Championship Triple-Threat Match: Tommy Dreamer gets the win and becomes the new ECW Champion by pinning Jack Swagger.
Big Show over John Cena in a Submission Match. This match is the payback match for Show and builds on the fact that he is too big for Cena to submit.
Match 3: Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler tagging against R-Truth and Jeff Hardy
At the beginning, Jericho claims that from now on, Superstars will be his show because he is the ultimate superstar. Jeff Hardy gets the win with a Swanton Bomb on Dolph Ziggler. R-Truth should be IC champ very soon! That dude can work.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho gets the win in the No Holds Barred match. As he attempts to rip off Rey’s mask, R-Truth makes the save and starts a program with Jericho.
World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match: Edge gets the win. No reason for him not to.
US title Fatal Four-Way Match: Kofi retains the title. Again…no reason for him not to.
WWE Championship Cage Match: Randy Orton defeats Batista, as HHH finds a way to interfere. This sets up the Summerslam triple-threat main event.
That does it for this week. Thanks for reading and see you next week for another WWE Superstars Review.
